ok heres my situation, I'm 36, shes 37, we been married 16 years and have 3 kids ,in the last 15 years I had 1 job that provided for our needs we scraped by, I was laid off last summer, and took a construction job that paid really good, my checks were double what i was makeing before, now this job is complete the next job is 12 hours away, my wife doesnt want to travel cause of her job and the kids in school, Im not going to find a job here where we live that will pay as good as Im getting, I really love my wife and dont want to go if it will eventualy end up in divorce
2007-04-06 09:20:08 · 12 answers · asked by born2hunt_forced2work 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should reconsider taking a job that is 12 hours away. You have 3 kids that need their daddy and a wife you love. It's better to scrape by with your family than to roll in the money all alone.
2007-04-06 09:24:31 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, dear, have a chat with your woman. Take a look at vacation time available for both of you. Take a look at the duration of the job. Find the weekends,(weekdays, holidays) that allow you to be together. Maybe she can drive out to you, or you can get home a bit. You don't say how long this job will last.
Agree to use the computer. Send each other e-mails and text messages. Talk on the phone. Distance doesn't have to make the relationship harder. Anticipation at being together again can be quite the aphrodesiac.
Send her things while you're gone. Something you can send in the mail? Flowers? Be creative. She'll respond.
You're in the rare circumstance where you can romance your woman from a distance. All the petty day to day interferences won't be there. Familiarity will fade and you can see her in the light from afar again. It's kinda cool. Not ideal for permanent. (I do know a couple who do actually live in different states and are married. They love each other and that's all there is to it.)
You're actually in quite an opportunity for romance. Go for it.
2007-04-06 10:24:24 · answer #2 · answered by Puresnow 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry. You've got 3 kids and you've been married for 16 years, so you guys have gotten used to each other like comfortable old clothes. You can easily live apart for 6 to 9 months. However, after 12 months, she may begin to get feelings of loneliness and that's when the crap hits the fan if there is temptation around.
My advice is this:
- Take the job.
- Call her on the phone every second or third night (or at least once a week) to let her know you still care for her.
- Visit her on the weekend once every 3 months.
- keep applying for jobs closer to home.
- Quit the job after 12 months and go back home, or you will simply be out of the picture for too long and she may begin to drift away.
Yes, life's crap: Don't let it hit you in the face !
Take care and enjoy your new job.
2007-04-06 09:52:54 · answer #3 · answered by honesty_counts 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust is going to play a huge role in this change. Security in the relationship and one another is going to be major also. If you can convey that you will make the time at home count. And stick to it. This may ease the anxiety some. Good luck.
2007-04-06 09:25:45 · answer #4 · answered by Balou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go see my friends and family but I wouldn't tell them I had 12 hours to live because I wouldn't want the little time i had with them to be filled with pain.
2016-05-18 22:44:23 · answer #5 · answered by jewell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe in urself and ur wife , don't indulge in any sexual activity except with ur wife. the marriage will never end up in divorce. whenever u r at home, spent maximum time with kids and beloved wife inkitchen and elsewhere. Keep away ur mobile phone and put off the receiver of land lind when u r at home.
2007-04-06 09:29:08 · answer #6 · answered by vinay s 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sweet Mother Of God ,what is the -- man--- you are a wimp".Will my marriage survive", and you're married 16 years. You have doubts? Is there something that makes you feel this way?
Why ask people here? ASK YOUR WIFE.What the hell is the matter with you?
2007-04-06 09:42:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
FIRST AND FOREMOST..did you ask YOUR WIFE what SHE thinks of all this? SHE is the one you should be talking to...not US!!
if money is real tight , take the job till you can get caught up...and keep looking for a job closer to home.....
i would NOT reccommend it for a longtime thing.....will be trouble for sure.....
2007-04-06 09:33:31 · answer #8 · answered by STARZ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Assuming that it will not be a permanent move.. if the two of you really want to make it work, and put forth enough effort, then sure, things should work just fine!
2007-04-06 09:51:17 · answer #9 · answered by arkiegirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you come visit on weekends and holidays, and talk frequently with your wife and kids, it should be fine. but i would also keep looking for a job that's a lot closer.
2007-04-06 09:26:40 · answer #10 · answered by roansaga 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋