Should I get divorced?

Question

I just found out that I am pregnant. My husband was so upset because he doesn't want any kid. He never has one. He is 50 years old. My husband doesn't work. He collects money from his rental properties but not enough to pay for the household expense so I am working in financial field making only 60K/y. Basically he doesn't kick me out of the house right now because I help him pay half of mortgage and half of all household expense but I can feel that he doesn't love me any more. He tries to act responsible on things that needs to be done around the house but he never talks nice to me. He talks to me like I am his enemy. I don't have anybody else. I have nowhere to go. What should I do? By myself I probably can afford to rent a small place but it's gonna be much smaller than our house right now. Every penny that I make, I may have to spend on the babysist. Would I be fair to my child if there is no father? Should I get divorced?...Desperate pregnant woman

Answer 1

Well, I think it sounds like more than time for divorce.

You seem like an intelligent, caring person who happened to fall for a deadbeat who doesn't have any drive to actually be anything.

It will be difficult in the beginning, but there are groups out there to help offer support for you, and 60K a year is a good salary. Go talk to a lawyer and see what he can do for you also.

Answer 2

Pregnant or not pregnant, if you are miserable in this relationship and feel unloved, then it's time to BAIL! Do you want your child to grow up seeing that "settling for second best" is acceptable? The child will feel all of the tension anyway. So what if it's tough and you have to struggle a little. If you're HAPPIER, then that's what counts. Besides, I had THREE little ones when I left my first marriage. NO car, hadn't worked in 3 years because I was a stay at home Mom, etc. But when push comes to shove, people figure out ways to overcome. Make the rest of your life count while the countin' is good. Good luck.

Answer 3

Children are so special and they bring so much joy to the parents life, in most cases. I would do whatever you feel would be best for your child.

I normally do not recommend divorce, but it is also wrong to bring a child up in a home where he is not wanted. Have the child and see how your husband reacts after the child is born, he might change, but if he doesn't them I would consider leaving him and see if you can make it on your own.

Sometimes being alone is scary, but after a while you will get use to it. I have no family were I live and I am a single mom, so I know how you are feeling to some extent.

You also need to know that you will be under pressure by your husband to not have your baby, so you need to be able to mentally deal with that if you decide to stay with him until your child is born.

I wish you and your child the very best, and I will keep you in my prayers.

Answer 4

Gee you are in a bit of a fickle here. I always stand in the shoes of children. What is the best for them in the long run. First, none of this is any body's fault, change that perspective. He doesn't want children, not right nor wrong, just is. My concern is the way he is treating you and you are not to blame either. I think you should explore this attitude of his with him to see if he will accept responsibility despite his lack of desire. Don't get to caught up in drama, but be sure he is solid on his position. In the alternative, your child deserves a secure and stable life. This includes lots of love and attention. If he is going to make this difficult for you it is best he is not in the picture. Move out and seek child support. Bottom line - go be the best mom you can be.

Answer 5

It would be better for the child to be without a father than a father that didn't want them. Think how much pain this causes, let me tell you it is so painful for a child to know they were not wanted and for the mother to watch her child be in the kind of pain is like no other pain felt before Do not fool yourself by thinking your husband will change his mind you will regret it for the rest of your life. There are so many heart aches we can not prevent our children from experiencing so prevent the ones you can at all cost!

Answer 6

you can't afford to raise a child in an environment of hate and in heartache you are feeling. As a writer once said in a book.....
"better to be a pauper in peace, than a king in contention".
and, it is true.. I followed that advise.. i am happy now..
I feel sorry he can't see the real joys of life right in front of him..
You can take care of yourself and baby.. Start now so by the time the baby is here you'll have a good support group of friends around you. If you don't now, you will.. Make friends.. new one's.
It isn't the type of home you lived in , but the atmosphere one lived in that effects one's life..
One of love and security or distant and hate ..
it doesn't sound healthy for you, how can it later be for your child..
Please think on these things..
good luck to you..

Answer 7

Get a divorce. If he treats you bad and is angry that you're pregnant then you deserve better(need i remind it takes 2 to make a baby) . Think of your child-do you want it raised in an environment like that? I say get all your things and find an apartment, they are assistance programs that can help you with medical needs for you and your baby as well as getting you financial assistance. Do your research before you leave him...this way you're prepared and you have a plan. And screw him for sitting on his *** all day and not helping you.

Answer 8

You certainly are in an unhealthy environment. I'm not sure what you were thinking even being with this man let alone getting pregnant with him. You are the only one who can make this decision but staying with him doesn't seem like a safe alternative.

Answer 9

Your husband is a jerk...that's his child too!

Get a small place for yourself, if that's all that you can afford. Give your child a loving environment to grow up in.

Answer 10

You make $60 K a year and are worried whether or not you will make it?
Maybe not in Los Angeles or NYC.

If you want the child and he doesn't, then kick him to the curb.