how do i get my past out of my head?

Question

when i was younger (5-8), my cousins (1 same age as me, and the other a 1 1/2 younger) and i would play "doctor". pretty much every chance we got. then when i was 10/11. it was with my older brother (he's older by 2 years). it wasn't really doctor, but that's what we called it because we didn't want to make it sound bad. anyway, now that i'm 15, i can't get the moments of those times "playing around" with my cousin and brother out of my head. i've asked god to forgive me, but i still feel horrible. suggestions?

none of our family or my friends knows about it, and i'm not gonna tell them because it's in the past and we don't do it anymore. the closest i've got to my cousin since then is when he's taking me around the track on the 4 wheeler or we're playing basketball. my bro and i don't talk about it either. i just want to get it out of my head.

Answer 1

You could see a school councelor (who will keep things private if you ask). They may have ideas on ways to move past the situation.

Don't feel bad about yourself, you were young and curious, and you didn't know how to handle things yet.

Work on forgiving yourself, and try to see the good in life.
Goodluck!

Answer 2

Same thing happened with me. But it wasn't with family, it was a family-friend's son and another family-friend's daughter. I felt horrible too and even went to a Catholic church and confessed.

I would say talking about it to someone you feel is really close to you is the best. It doesn't have to be friends, family or counselor's. I didn't want to talk to them either because I thought they may take it like I was a nymphomaniac.

Anyway, two years ago when my dad and his wife moved back and I started being with them, I talked to my stepmom. She just listened so attentively and kind of laughed that I was so scared.

She said it's normal just to "experiment," and it's better you did it then than when people aren't clean anymore, haha.

Just don't dwell on it and just let it slip. I know that's not really specific, but it worked for me. The past is the past and you can't change it. But don't embrace it either.

I hope you can really get past this like I did.

It really didn't help when the guy (who is the same age as me) went around telling everyone at school 4 years later. Then made up some stupid story that I took a bath with him. I knew I should have forgiven everyone for doing that and forgiven him for being a loudmouth. And I did. With the help of Father Vladmir.

If you want, I can be that person you talk to. Since, we both had been through it. By the way, I'm 12.

Feel free to email me: [e-mail]

Answer 3

Don't worry!!! As weird as it sounds, it's totally normal for kids to do that. I'm on the internet all the time and I've read so many things about this on parenting websites. Kids do this because they're curious about their own bodies and others. And just so you know- a lot more people did it growing up than you would think.

Since you're religious remember this- God always forgives if you're truly sorry (this applies to anything, not just this). He throws it into a sea of forgetfulness... right? (I may have gotten the wording wrong, but same idea.)

Anyway, you need to forgive yourself and maybe look it up on the internet. Look up "kids playing doctor" or something and you're bound to get all sorts of psychologists going on about the reasons it's done.

Answer 4

Maybe it's in your head now because you are getting older and you realize how powerful all those feelings can be. Don't indulge yourself in feeling horrible without accompanying that feeling with some resolve not to repeat that behavior. Of all you mentioned, your activity with your older brother was perhaps the activity that was the most dangerous and immoral. You might have to end up telling someone if it turns out that your older brother has been continuing to do that all along or wants to continue to do it. with other younger relatives (or even non-relatives).

Answer 5

I seriously think all kids do that.
I remember playing "doctor" and a lot of my friends have told me similar stories.
If you still feel bad about it, maybe you could talk to a counselor or something. I don't think you did anything wrong, because you were just a kid. You didn't know any better.

Answer 6

God has forgiven you!! I think that you need to be delivered from this. You need a lot of prayer and be constant with it. A lot of times people do things that they aren't sure why they are doing it when they are younger. God can take these feelings away from you, you just need to have prayer and faith that everything will be ok. Also from experience, when you get things off your chest by talking to someone that you trust believe me it's a huge weight lifted off your shoulders and you'll feel much better.

Answer 7

It's never too late to ask for help. I would seek out professional help if you can't deal with it yourself and don't want to talk to family or friends about it. Don't be ashamed to do this. We all need help once in a while. My prayers are with you.

Answer 8

If you go to church and you believe in reconsiliation, go to one. Confess your sins to the priest or reverend. You will feel better. Also to help, maybe talk to your cousin and brother about it, if thats too hard then just focus on the future and making good choices now and in the future. :)

Answer 9

You were young and curious about your own body and such, there is nothing to be ashamed about.

Though, if you're religious I will assume that you've been told that your body is an entity that you should be compunctious of, but this is not true. You did not do anything wrong.

Answer 10

I thought all kids did that.......Lord only knows I did......I was probably 10 or so. You were just curious to see what a boy looked like. Now if you were still doing it, I'd be concerned!!!