hes a virgin im a liar?

Question

my fiance and i have been going out for two years, i love him sooo much. He's perfect, sweet, kind, loving understanding and a genius in Columbia medical school currently doing residence at 24. He is goreuous 6'9, broad sholders, tan, black hair, blue eyes, in amazing shape. One problem he is a virgin, by choice philosophical/religous reasons.I lied to him and said i was. He is Catholic, doesn't act holier than thou and very understanding. A friend of mine dated him for a while she told him that she wasn't a virgin from the start, they were together for awhile, she said he was wonderful, understanding and always a gentlemen she said he said it happens, id be lying if i said i didnt wish you were, but love you and thats what matters, she wants him back and she knows i lied. Anyway, we were dating for two months and he told me I though he was kidding and said i was. its true friends told me, and i lied more i was scared. I love him so much. this week made me feel awful

i feel awful. i met his family the were nice to me. He was always standoffish about this family. I did know till after i met them and asked what was so bad about them. He was beaten (he had and order of protection against his father at 10) and neglected as a child didnt have many friend through him out of the house a couple times. he said that i asked his older brother said he was the only one this happend to. and his parents forced him to work his way through school when they could easily afford to pay. We stopped a beach hes from the gold coast of long island. We talked and he was saying how much he trusted me and loved me and he though he never could love or trust anyone. This was the first time he brought up my virginity saying he never though he would find a girl who was and how amazing it was that i am a virgin and how special it is. then he threw his arms around me kissed me and held me. Ok what should i do should i fake it

I used to bring it up and say i was. I would call the wedding off if i lied to him that much. We have slept together no sex though, i felt safe and loved. I have been with about 26 guys. though when we slept together i could feel that he is a very big man, i think i may tear if i got on top of him and was a bit rough, plus i have shrink a bit from not having sex for two tears. But hes a Doctor, though he is a childrens doctor at St.mary's its a hospital for abandoned and ophaned children, i kno. could he still tell though.
I love him i dont think he would break up with me, but i think he would be really hurt, and want some time alone i saw something at his place about doctors without border. I dont want to lose him.

Answer 1

tell him now. if he loves you he will understand you wanted to be perfect for him, but you still better tell him as soon aspossible.

Answer 2

Sweetheart, with your history, if you do not come clean you risk destroying the best thing that ever happened to you.
If virginity is that important to him your lying about it will be even worse.

There are a number of examples of people who have gone from promiscuous to chaste. That is many times more impressive than keeping virginity. You have let him pursue a fictional character. Get it together and tell the truth.

BTW you are also a bit naive regarding the internet. Assuming your information is accurate, why would it be,
there is enough information here to find this guy. I'd bet he does not want this information so,er,public.

Answer 3

I would say that you are screwed. What woman would not want what you have!

Generally, you should never lie about anything, especially going into a marriage.

Since this man is so great, you need to figure out a way to keep your past private until at least after the wedding (maybe a few years). Lying is really bad, but you will probably lose this guy if you tell him now.

Answer 4

Girl, I was feeling so bad for you and your situation, and my advise was going to be that you have to be honest with him and tell him. The way you were talking it sounded like you had been with a guy or two... not a guy or 26. Honey, thats an awful lot of different men to be sleeping with. If being a virgin is important to this man, and you told him it was one person he may understand, but I think you are going to hurt him alot if you tell him how many. You also cant lie to him... this is wrong... and a very big lie. If you marry this man it is going to put a wedge between you and him as the years go on. Its going to be hard, and it may not turn out the way you want it to... but if you are adult enough to have slept with even one man, then you need to be adult enough to tell this man what you have done. I dont want to sound like I am putting you down, Im not. I dont want you to think that I think you are a horrible person, I dont. I just want you to take a good look at yourself in the mirror, accept who and what you are, embrace it, love yourself, then go to your man and tell him your lies. I hope everything works out for the best for you, my thoughts are with you hun.

Answer 5

I don't know what you do or how your financial situation is but there is a way to get your virginity back. Do you know the show Dr. 90210? Seen it on there, he was doing for these women who were from some other country and were afraid, because they lost their virginity here in the states, but had to go back and they had to be virgins. So, he sewed the skin back.
You can do it on what of your light days, of your period, otherwise I don't see how you would fake it.

Answer 6

Bad way to start a marriage. Tell him the truth a.s.a.p. Don't give the "number", of course, but tell him you're not a virgin. There's no shame in not being one, but it is very shameful to lie. If there's someone else in your life who knows the truth, it will come out sooner or later, and the later it comes out the more hurt it will cause. Tell him.

Answer 7

First of all, tell him the truth, and sooner is better. And own up to the fact that you lied. In this case, lying about it is as bad as cheating. When you tell him, throw yourself on his mercy and accept whatever he says. Give him his space if he needs it, and be waiting when he gets back.

Answer 8

Just tell him the truth, it's not like you got syphllis or something. If you keep lying he'll just assume that you lied about everything and dump u. Tell the truth NOW!!

Answer 9

well there r many ways to prove urself virgin. if u think u will loose him by telling the truth, e-mail me i will tell u the way to prove urself virgin at the time of ur wedding. i m neither kidding nor try to fool around .just contact me

Answer 10

Hello Madam,

DO NOT THINK ABOUT ANYTHING. JUST TELL HIM THE TRUTH. AND DO NOT EXPECT ANYTHING FROM HIM WHEN YOU TELL HIM THE TRUTH. (do u understand what i mean. Do not expect either he will accept or he will reject u). BUT U R GOOD. U KNOW MANY PEOPLE THEY JUST HIDE. JUST THINK IN REVERSE, IF YOU WERE IN HIS POSITION, WHAT WILL BE YOUR REACTION WHEN YOU YOURSELF COME TO KNOW ABOUT THE ISSUE OR IF HE TELLS YOU.

THE BEST ANSWER IS, DO TELL HIM THE TRUTH AND GET OUT OF THIS MENTAL PRESSURE.

Answer 11

You cannot justify dishonesty in a relationship. It's all consuming to maintain a lie. Tell him.