A few months ago my husband said he had a job offer, but it was in a very tiny conservative town, so I was not thrilled. He convinced me to give it a visit and we both thought the job offer sounded positive. Then the pay rate changed and we had trouble finding livable housing in our price range. I asked him to back out because what they were offering after looking at the housing prices and the schools, etc. things weren't looking too promising. I didn't feel good about backing out, but I thought it would be better than making a bad move. Too make a long story short he told me he would drag me there kicking and screaming and that I would like it there.
Now we are here, and I have had to deal with rats, termites and undrinkable water in a house I was wishy washy about but he fell in love with. I have really tried hard to get problems taken care of, exterminators out, etc. I've had to give up some of my old activities for this move. Am I justified in being angry at my hubby?
2007-04-06 08:06:52 · 13 answers · asked by l m 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are justified in your anger. To move you regardless of your opinion is one sided and harsh. If you're unhappy with the move try to tap into what makes this move a winner for your husband. Is it his dream job or is it a job after he was out of work for a while? Those are huge factors to consider.
I have a similar problem but I won't take a job that my wife hasn't at least given a tentative green light to. It's probably stifled my career to date because The job market in a lot of areas is much hotter than here but at the same time, there no sense moving an unhappy wife cross country.
2007-04-06 08:23:30 · answer #1 · answered by Deep Thought 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It should have been a decision made by the both of you and what you are feeling towards your hubby is normal. If he knew about the termites and other stuff why did he still want to move? It makes no sense because having that stuff in the house is not good. If need be maybe you guys can find a new place to live if possible.
2007-04-06 15:48:24 · answer #2 · answered by Momof1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife was offered to be relocated back east, but I said she can go, but I will not. The company ended up closing the site we would of relocated to leaving us without jobs if we had gone. I stood by my decision and we are better for it.
I think you gave up on fighting him on the move and now you are trying to blame him for it.
NOT making a decision and NOT fighting against a decision is a passive argument.
Do you think you husband could really take you there kicking and screaming? Police would of been called and stopped him. You gave in to what he wanted. It was your decision to give in.
You are not angry at your husband. You are angry at yourself for not sticking to what you thought was a better decision. You are there because of you not him.
2007-04-06 15:43:55 · answer #3 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course you are justified If you had no say in this kind of a change in your relationship/life It is completely healthy to be upset with the hubby for forcing you to go there in the first place. Who would want to be in a place like that I hope things get better for you two.
2007-04-06 15:14:58 · answer #4 · answered by Momof2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There'd be no way I would even attempt to live in a place where there are rats, termites and undrinkable water. I'd pack my things and leave. I wouldn't bother with a goodbye note either, others can figure out on their own why I left.
2007-04-06 15:12:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would've been pissed. For one, he wouldn't have conviced me. He would've gone out there alone, but that's just me. You are a good wife for going along with his "kicking and screaming" bit. That's more that I can say for most woman to put up with. That should be answer enough. He doesn't really think this is going to work does he? You will end up resenting him. I would. I think you are more than justified for being angry at him. What he did was unfair and EXTREMELY inconsiderate.
Men! And you wonder why they say that we woman are smarter. Hmph!
2007-04-06 15:24:00 · answer #6 · answered by Zgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are justified in being angry at him. This decision should have been made jointly. But all can really do now is try to move on....get over it....and make the best out of it......Good luck!
2007-04-06 15:17:59 · answer #7 · answered by Keetta 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfair? It sounds like he's the one who's being unfair. I don't blame you for being angry, considering that he's unwilling to acknowledge the fact that you're not happy with the deal. The ideal outcome would've been for both spouses to be happy but this is what happens when one spouse is not willing to compromise and meet half way.
2007-04-06 15:15:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anna 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Very justified. Your husband should have taken in account of your feelings about the move not just his own.
2007-04-06 15:15:37 · answer #9 · answered by MUSHMAN 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Of course you are angry...he made this decision without even considering your feelings about it! Not okay in my book...we make decisions together and sometimes he's right, sometimes I'm right...but the final outcome is what WE want...God bless you, I couldn't live like that.
2007-04-06 15:14:27 · answer #10 · answered by mrs O 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋