How do you determine what is true compassion from enabling laziness or bad behavior?

Question

I know many things are quite obvious, but there are many situations where, what seems like helping is only delaying necessary learning. How do you determine the line between compassion and enablilng?

Answer 1

Great question. Compassion first of all comes from putting one's Self in the other person's shoes or place. So first of all what is Self. Self is our totality, everything we think, feel, sense and intuit. And what else? That which observes what we think, feel, and sense, and intuit, the Observer (sometimes referred to as Soul). Therefore true compassion cannot exist mechanically. It must come from complete awareness, at least as long as we are in our physical bodies.
So you are right that an effort to help is usually counter-productive, but that is because the help is coming from an inadequate place. One can be influential to a degree sometimes. If you would like me to continue, please let me know, and I will gladly give you some examples.
Have a great weekend!

Answer 2

Hahahaha! Good question and please keep a sense of humour here!

Don't raise yourself above other to judge them. Remember your humility and keep a sense of equinimity. I do it too! LOL! Just ry and scrutinise where you are coming from.

I answer your question now. It is unconditional love. Sometimes it is 'tough' love. As a parent I sometimes have to take the tough love route! Oh, I don't like it! But I do it! I feel such empathy for my kids but ultimatly it is that empathy that bolsters my understanding of how important tough love is at times.

The peramiters are important too. Do nothing that is truly harmful to body, mind or soul!!! We should not be damaging one another! I don't look down on my children either. I am here to love, protect and guide them, but they are their own persons and I respect that very much. They teach me and I teach them There is no interaction that we cannot learn from though it may be mundain or terrible. Hard isn't it.

Before you judge someone even your own child of being lazy, strive to really understand what is going on. I don't believe that most things enterpreted as laziness really are about laziness.

Take time to understand. It may be something about you too. It can be hard to see the forest for the trees when it is us we have to look at! Always look at yourself with scrutiny before anyone else!

Is it about cultural roles? Such roles can have little empathy and encourage those of a simplistic nature to judge people with out striving to understand. I am not saying that is you...but is is always something to look at.

For all you know the person may have an undiagnosed inactive Thyroid gland, they may be suffering from clinical depression ( an actual physiological medical condition!), or maybe they are unhappy. Communication, dialogue, working things through without anger...very important!

I hope this is helpful. Understanding each other is one of our greatest challenges as human beings!

Peace.

Answer 3

Laziness or bad behavior don't happen without some reason. Eliminating this reason is tantamount to committing a compassionate act.

For example, if a person is addicted to alcohol, the comassionate act is not to buy him a drink but to make him attend the AA meetings.

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Answer 4

It used to be called "tough love". You show compassion only when the correct behaviour is demonstrated. i.e You say no with tears in your eyes.

Answer 5

I think you can be sympathetic (compassionate) about someone else's drama without enabling them. It's sort of like, "Hey I am sorry you have hit a rough spot, are you gonna sit and whine or do something about it?"