I'm Pregnant?

Question

im 21, no kids, but now im 4 1/2 weeks pregnant, i'm afraid to tell my mom and dad. The baby's father said he want a dna test and then he'll take care of it, i don't want to aboard my baby, but if the guy isn't gonna help me then i don't wanna have it, i don't wanna be a single mom, should i get an abortion?

Answer 1

That would be the biggest mistake of your life. Give it up for adoption if you don't want it. By the time you have it it will be the most precious thing in the world to you.

Answer 2

Before you get an abortion, I would talk to someone. I was a single mom for many years and it isn't as hard as you think it is going to be. The moment you look at that baby, your heart will melt. I would rather be a single mom than to have a father with you that isn't worth being a dad. You are 21 and you should talk to your parents what can they say that you aren't already thinking, and besides they may be thrilled. Abortion is a big deal and it is something that can haunt you for the rest of your life. A child is a gift and my step-mother in law had an abortion and was never able to have children again and she really regrets it. There are other alternatives if you aren't ready to take that step. There are many people out there who would love to have children and are unable to. Before you go and make any decisions, talk to someone who you trust and someone who really cares about you. Remember abortion is something that you can't take back once it is done it's over. I am sure that if you have to be a single mom and you want to be that there will be all kinds of help out there for you. Your life will not end by having this baby, it will be a new beginning.

Answer 3

No one can answer that except you. Some women who get abortions get depressed and feel empty and that they made a mistake for years to come, if not for the rest of their lives. It's like how some women feel when they give their baby up for adoption. On the other hand, as bad as this may sound, I am sure there are some women with kids who are not mother material and wish they had aborted their child or had given them up for adoption.

It depends on how you feel. The father is obviously unreliable. His wanting a DNA test shows his immaturity and his distrust for you. That is a sign of someone who is not ready to be a father. And you're young...there is so much life you have yet to experience.

Having a child is a blessing, but it may also hinder your personal growth. Personally, I think adoption is a better option that abortion. That way, the child has a chance at life and who knows, he or she might be the next president or something.

Anyway, just imagine yourself with a baby and all the responsibilities you will have. It sounds like the father does not want a relationship right now, so I wouldn't count on him helping out more than a child-support settlement would mandate.

If you do decide that you cannot be a mother...please strongly consider giving the child up for adoption over abortion. There are so many people who would love to have a child but are unable. Best wishes.

Answer 4

Chances are that if your man is demanding that you do the DNA test, he won't be a real man when the baby comes. Being young and haing an amnio isn't really advised, it could do more harm to the baby then good. I was 20 when I had my daughter and I did it alone. I am having the time of my live with her. She is in Kinder now and it is so much fun. I was scared to tell my parents even though I didn't live with them. I waited until I was like 7 months before I told them. Now I live with them so I can buy my daughter a house and I swear my mom and dad never let me have her on the weekends. They do so much with her. You would be supprised how a baby actually changes things for the greater good. You will realize that the cute new shoes you wanted really would look so much cuter on your baby. IT made me not so selfish. I think of her now before myself. I cannot imagine my life without her. Her dad, well prison suits him and we don't need him. My daughter has my dad and brothers who are better, wonderful positive role models in her life.

If you have an abortion, do it now. Up until 12 weeks you can have an abortion using horomore pills. It is unevasive and no surgery. My cousin did it. She took a pill in the doctors office, and inserted 6 into her vagina and had some mild cramps and bleed for a few days but at her 2 week check up she wasn't pregnant anymore. It helped her out of a bad situation but it was still abortion. You do whats best for you. Don't listen to the religious arguments that its murder. Don't listen to people tell you tht it wil haunt you. You need to do whats best for you.

Don't let this guy pressure you into anything that you are not ready for either. Think about how he will support you during the pregnancy and that should indicate how he will act latter. If he won't have anything to do with you now, he won't latter. And look at how he implys that he isn't the father, do you want your character impuned like that? Just food for thought.

Answer 5

Hell no! Being a single mom is the most important job any woman could ever have. You prove your strength every day that you and your kids make it in this world. You don't need a man to help you take care of your child. When you get married and have a baby, the same exact thing could happen. Sure he'd be your husband and they courts would order him to pay....but they can't MAKE him do anything. So I would say that if you are not ready to have a baby from a man and he is not ready to have one with you, then you don't need to be sleeping together. Think about that next time around. Good luck!

And to add....I have 4 year old twins. I didn't want them. I was going to have an abortion (at the time I thought there was just one baby). The abortion doctor did an ultrasound and told me that it was twins. So I kept them. Today, I CAN'T IMAGINE my life without them. It's not easy....but when I see them smile and they talk to me....and hug me....and kiss me......it's worth all the headaches. Just think about it....don't make a hasty decision based off a man. Make it cuz it's what you want.

Answer 6

No one can tell you to get an abortion or not. Just know that there is other options out there. Women who really want to have children and can't would love to adopt a baby. If the father isn't going to help and that's the reason you want an abortion then think about how silly that is. There are tons of single mothersout there and they make it work!!! I'm sure you would be able to get assistance for awhile until you get on your feet. Remember that's your baby your carrying around. Think long and hard about it. Good luck to you either way!

Answer 7

Only you can decide... I am 21 years old and my son is 2 and a half... hes the best thing that ever happend to me. I also had whats called an elective abortion when my first son was a year old. I delivered my second son at 17w3d because he had a severe neural tube defect and I was informed that he had a 0% chance to live. All I can tell you is that I have an empty place in my heart that will never be filled... My son wasnt healthy but I still feel like I did something wrong and it has caused alot of heart ache and suffering for me. Just think long and hard before you make that choice...

Answer 8

Even if he does go through with the DNA test that's no guarantee he'll stick around afterwards.
You say you don't want to be a single Mum. That leaves abortion or adoption. It's up to you. Go see your GP as soon as possible and get some impartial advice, not from the bible bashers on here who have their own petty agendas.

Good luck whatever you decide. x

Answer 9

it is your own personal decision. i went through the same problem as you, but the guy was around to support me. we knew that there was no way we could give the baby what it needed and decided a life full of pain and guilt for us, would be far better than a life full of pain for our child. the child wouldnt have been able to lead a normal happy life, because of the lack of things we could give them. we couldnt even afford to feed them. i know people say that child benefits etc will help, but they dont, because there are so many people in this position, only the lucky few get the help they need.
i dont regret my decision because i know it was a selfless one. if you dont feel that you can give this baby what it needs than abortion is the fairest option. adoption is not a good option like people say, because you become attached the child, cannot give it up and end up in the postion you dreaded all along.
i hope i helped. good luck and please dont let anyone make you feel any guilt over your decisions.
xx

Answer 10

Omg no way!!!! do not get an abortion that's horrible your 21 years old so I believe it's better to tell your parents they will understand and help you and it is okay to be a single mother my mom was the same way only she was 18 and if she did an abortion i wouldn't be here and there's plenty of ways you can support your baby. If this man want a paternity test give it to him but if you ask me if he loved you he wouldn't care about the results and be there like he should be doing like a man. Trust me it will all be wort it once you hold that baby in your arms.

Answer 11

This is a question only you can answer. Try and think about it. If you have an abortion, do you think you can live with it? If you keep the baby, do you think you can give the child the kind of life you feel it deserves?

Good luck to you, it's probably the hardest decision you will ever make.