I am a gay male w/ who happens to have a straight male friend who is aware of my orientation. Over the past several months we have been spending alot more time together and have really begun to enjoy each others company. He told me that I was very easy to be with and that he was finding it more difficult to be with his girlfriend as of late. He also happens to be very "touchy" with me, but I respect him and set limits as to my response.
When plans were made to meet out one night, he told me he was excited and couldn't wait. By the time he showed, he barely spoke two words and left. Now he will not even return calls. What happened ?? The worst part is that I was begining to have feelings for him as I am sure he was for me.
Is all lost ? Did I do something wrong ? Has this ever happened to any of you guys ? If so, how did you handle it ?
2007-04-06 06:07:57 · 8 answers · asked by johnnyman 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
no all is not lost . It sounds like your friend is maybe having doubts about his own orientation . maybe thinking that if he likes you that would make him gay . you didn't say how old you both are I have noticed that guys in there low 20 or younger can feel a bit insecure about stuff like that . I can tell that you value his friendship so just give him some time . Just know that gay guys and str8 guys can be friends care for and even love each other . I should know , next month I'm going to be the best man at my friends wedding we have been best friends for 14 years
best of luck with your friend and don't give up on him
2007-04-06 06:59:54 · answer #1 · answered by whitelyon10 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be right in that he was having feelings for you and that is scaring the hell out of him.
He obvioulsy thinks of himself as straight and any feelings toward a guy (even a friend like yourself) is causing him to question himself. His response to that is to distance himself from you.
Another possibility is that someone else saw the two of you and made an assumption (to others) that he is gay because you are. The only way he can fight that is to distance himself from you.
I would not necessarily call him a closet case but he does have some issues he will have to deal with.
It hasn't happened to me. I don't think you did anything wrong.
Try calling him again and tell him you are very puzzled as to what might have happened and you would like to talk it over with him as friend to friend. If he still won't call you back then it may be best that you scratch him off as a friend.
2007-04-06 06:20:41 · answer #2 · answered by nycguy10002 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All is not lost. Play it cool. Let him come around at his time. Don't expose your feelings to early. Make sure he really does have feelings for you or any guy. Or have a few to many drinks and see what pops up. You might not end up with a love relationship but good sex together might be just what you both need and want from each other.
2007-04-06 06:52:27 · answer #3 · answered by Mark K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the poor guy is confused and afraid of his feelings. He might be gay, but maybe he's also curious. Being curious of the same sex can be very frustrating to someone who has a lot of pre-conceived ideas of homosexuality.
Try and talk to him. You are his friend. Show that you are his friend by contacting him and finding out what's wrong.
2007-04-06 06:13:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It happens, the thing you have to figure out is if he was coming on to you for the attention, because there's a lot of attention to tap there, or if he actually wants to try something.
As for his reaction, something else probably went wrong I would guess, give it a bit of time then see if he pops up again.
2007-04-06 07:48:36 · answer #5 · answered by Luis 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should ask him. Its impossible for us to know, considering we don't know him. Maybe someone told him something bad about you (even if its not true, some people just LOVE to hurt other people). If he won't return your calls then see him in person and ask him whats wrong.
2007-04-06 06:14:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
touch feely means there is something , check ur feeling if u realy like him and want to know him more go to him , if u feel that u dont want to lose him as a friend and he`s doing that for curious talk and tell him ur openion >>>>>>> good luck and tell us what gonna happen @@@@@@@
2007-04-06 06:38:29 · answer #7 · answered by Bossy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him time he is confussed, just be there for him, see what good things will develope over the future.
2007-04-06 06:21:33 · answer #8 · answered by kanei 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋