What should I do about my racist friend?

Question

You see, I have two best friends. One is African American and the other is white. My friend that is white is always being rude and snobby to my African American friend because she is African American. It hurts my African American friends feelings. I would talk to my white friend but I don't want her to get mad and not talk to me again. What should I do? What do you think about blacks? What do you think about whites? help!

Thanks everyone. I just talked to my white friend over IM and we are finished! I feel better now. I am sure when I tell my black friend she will feel better too! My white friend is really mad but one thing I have noticed with her is she is all talk and no action. I have all ready got 5 e-mails from her and a mojority of them says she is sorry and will never do it again. But, she has said this before and never changed. Should I give her a second chance? I feel like not giving her another chance is that okay?

Answer 1

Is she just being mean to your other friend? That's just wrong. Talk. to. her. Tell her if she's being mean to your friends, your out. And actually DO what you say. Hang out with your friends that arent like that, and respect the fact that you can-and should-stand up for your friends. even when its like a friends-civil-war.

Answer 2

You really should talk to your white friend. Try just sitting her down and saying " Your racist jokes really hurt people and it's wrong." If she gets angry at that or denies her profane ways, just let her know where she stands and the friends she could lose. Maybe something like " Look, this isn't a joke and if you want to be a rude, mouthy smart ***, you're going to have to find other people as low as you to do that with because we're not putting up with this anymore."

A little harsh yes, but there are "lighter" ways, they just take longer. Like maybe she doesn't even realize she is acting this way, or maybe she had a bad experience with a black person. Talk to her and try and find out the source for the behaviour. No one is born with racism in their blood. I think you should step up for your friend and tell this other girl off, because racist behaviour is unacceptable. Just know that these racist comments directed to your other friend could be doing serious, erasable damage and it's worth losing a snobby, inconsiderate friend for a real one.

Never, ever, ever look at someone through coloured eyes.
Racists are disgusting pigs.

Answer 3

I don't care what color anyone is, they can be green for all I care, if I think they're cool, then I'll talk or be friends with them. I'm thinking that you're under 16 years old, because I'm 16 , and trust me, when you get older, people wont be as ignorant....not saying that there wont be any ignorant racist people when you get older, but there will be a lot less.

Most teens that are racist now are only racist because thier parents or guardians are also racist and they pick it up, and they think it's okay to dis-like or hate any other race.

First of all, I'd like to say I'm surprised that your black friend doesn't just kick the hell out of that dumbass white friend of yours....not to be racist or anything...but I'm not African American...but I know African Americans , if your white friend were to specifically and verbally say that she didn't like black people, then she'd have her *** kicked in a nano-second.

Yea, most black people act....differently...honestly...I don't have anything against them...but some people don't like them for a reason...some of them do drugs, make fun of everyone, think they're better than anyone else, etc. but and then again, there are people of ALL races that are like this....there's just more of them in their race...and the black people that are like that are just making it un-fair for the ones who aren't , because they're making the whole race look bad.

I think that there are more racist white people than a lot of people think, they just don't verbally go all out and say that they don't like a certain race, because they know that they'd either get beat up, or not liked if they were to do so. But and then again, now a days, especially in the younger group. I'd say at least 75 percent of white people AREN'T racist, and I don't know how it was back in the "black people on the back of the bus" days, but I'd say that it's a magnificent improvement from those days.

Anyways, about your situation.

Anyways, the first thing I'd do if I were you is confront your white friend, tell her that she's not special because she's white and that she should treat people the same no matter what color they are. Make yourself seem angry about her immature behavior while you're saying this. make her realize how ignorant and stupid she is not liking your black friend just because of the color of her skin.

If this doesn't work , then I'd just not talk to her anymore, if you don't talk to her, then you'll solve the problem with your black friend having her feelings hurt too, because if your white friend doesn't see you and your black friend together, then she wont have a chance to be rude and snobby to her because she wont see her.

Eventually your racist white friend will become lonely and miss being around you and agree to stop being rude to your black friend if you continue to talk to her....
but if she doesn't...then don't sweat it...she's not the only friend you have in the world, and at least you know you'll have only friends who don't judge people for the color of their skin. the saying goes the same with friends too "there's plenty of fishys in the sea"

Answer 4

Are you serious? You dont know what to do? Lets see, two best friends. One hurts the other but you dont want to make the mean one mad at you? Let me tell you something. If someone talks to you about other people, they are the type that will also talk about YOU to other people. Tell your snobby, rude friend she just took herself off of your friend list. You dont pick friends that are mean and rude.

I dont know why you ask what we think of blacks and whites. If we take the time to answer this obviously we care about them both. Its not a black/white thing its a people thing. You have a mean rude friend. Dump her. Keep the nice friend. And get some "ballz". Its not okay to condone behavior that you know is wrong, that makes you an accomplice.

Answer 5

This is 2007. Racism is and always will be UNACCEPTABLE. For you to actually remain friends with a racist does nothing for your own character. There is no reason a good person like yourself should continue a friendship like this. You'll make other friends,sweetie. I urge you to consider halting this friendship after explaining to your "white friend" that her actions are hateful and repugnant. Racism is one of the most detestable qualities I can possibly think of and you should not be tolerating it. Your African American friend deserves your friendship much more than your "white" friend. Be strong and set a standard for the people you have in your life. Friends are family that you pick, and I hope you wouldn't want a racist in your family. Her nasty characteristics will eventually effect you in a negative way, and I wouldn't want to see that happen to a tolerant person such as yourself. I hope you find the answer you are looking for within yourself.

Answer 6

It's not wrong to say something to your friend who's being racist. Tell her how it makes you feel, and how it makes your African American friend feel. Maybe have your African American friend come with you to talk to this girl, too, since she's the one being directly insulted. Don't worry about what your racist friend thinks. If she doesn't want to talk to you guys anymore, it's honestly her loss. IShe's not going to get very far in life if she lets a little something like that get in her way, and maybe this will teacher her that. Hopefully you can help her come to her senses. This is the 21st century, for God's sake.

As for my opinion, I think that blacks and whites and EVERYONE should be equal, seeing as we're all human.

Answer 7

i think all people are nuts. but that is just natural. and i have a sister who is part afro american but she insist that i say black because being p.c. just sound stupid. so whenever i am unsure of what to say or do i check with her. there is no doubt that we all have lines drawn and that we are all different. my sis and i dont play stupid, we tell eachother like it is but we never hurt eachother. i think she respects that i come to her with question before i offend someone. we are all a bit racist, but being a harmful and deliberate racist is unacceptable. we cant help the race we were born to and we shouldnt have to feel guilt for it. when the world explodes we all go, not just a certain race. so put your friend with the ugly heart in check or bounce her. either way, remind her that you love all your friends and you dont dig one hurting the other.

Answer 8

Tell her actions speak louder than words.
But is her reason for not liking your african american friend about her color or something else about her? If it is something she does or how she acts then it is not racism. But even then there are ways to deal with it. Why not all 3 of you get together and talk about what is going on and why. Get the truth out in the open and then work on it.

Answer 9

I think we all are human , but yes major population is still a racist, If I were in ur place I would have clearly told my white friend not to be rude to African friend I dont like it , If shes ur good friend she will remain so, and change her attitude, else i would'nt mind her going away

Answer 10

you really need to talk to your friend, because it may come down to a fight between your black friend and your white friend. and in that instance it will be known as a " hat crime" and that can lead to some serious court and jail time ( depending how old they are- juvy) it may just seem like two people not liking each other, but this can lead to some drastic episodes. you cant worry about your friend not talking to you, peoples lives may come at risk. racism is a big thing still, and it needs to be avoided and put to rest in any instance

Answer 11

take your white friend to the hood and drop her off lmfao -
naw make sure its a raceist thing not just a i wanna be the only best friend in your life thing - and if she is raceist i dont care how many good qualities a person has thats one of the ones that you shouldnt just work around - If all she has for not likeing this girl is her skin color - she is what i call a project reject lame - she has no game or "jauning" skills - i dont think about people by race - i think of them as individuals - im too grown for that and ive got to much game my self -

but for the record - there are raceist people in every group - biast people - what ever you want to call them - its just retarded -