The relationship started 2 months before he got married, after he pursued me relentlessly for almost 3 months. Just before the wedding I told him I was done, but he continued coming after me and I caved. I fell head over heels for this guy even though I knew it was wrong. About 4 months after he got married, he told me he loved me. I ended up drunk dialing when the wife was out of town and leaving a voicemail message, which his wife heard. She called me and asked me if I was sleeping with her husband. I said I called the wrong number because I was drunk. He not only stopped seeing me, but also said he will never speak to me or see me again. It's been 3 months and I still can't get over it. I feel very guilty for lying to her and wonder if I should just come clean for my own well being. Any advice?
2007-04-06 05:28:46 · 33 answers · asked by dsmgirl50312 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
"I feel very guilty for lying to her and wonder if I should just come clean for my own well being." You are being selfish in thinking only of yourself. Leave them both alone. Get on with the rest of your life. Perhaps you have learned a lesson not to pursue a married/about-to-be-married man again.
2007-04-06 05:36:58 · answer #1 · answered by Alex 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie first of all I will not judge you for weakness, but why in a world that you pursue this man which you know that nothing will happened in a long run. Don't you think that playing with fire will make it more worst before it gets better?.Yes he told you that he loves you even though that his already married, this proves that he wants to keep you for sex not emotional relationship with you. If he really cares for you, he will not get married in the first place and just stayed with you, but he didn't, did he?
He finally washed his hands off you right after you called his home and his wife found out. Now try to make a man's of this mess by going to meet his wife, tell her how it started so that way she will know that his been unfaithful towards her, who knows he might do this again to another girl that he can be fool. Do this and you ll see,it will give you a piece of mind. And you deserve to find a man that will be worthy of your heart, not just sex,...................
2007-04-06 05:45:59 · answer #2 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should probley tell her, but i don't think you should do it out of spite for him not calling you. Your pretty hurt and its easy to understand that. If your this hurt imagine the pain that she is going through. She knows he is cheating on her, yet nobody is problem willing to tell her. Put yourself in her shoes, would you want someone to tell you, if your significant other was/is cheating on you? Do you think he won't/hasn't found someone else to be with now that your out of the picture?
Some other things to think about. Why did he stop talking to you, after the wife called you? Is the novelty off for him, or does he feel the wife is to close so he has to find another person and be more discreet?
I would hope that you will do the right thing, because if the shoe was on the other foot, you would want her to tell you.
Good luck
2007-04-06 05:37:03 · answer #3 · answered by sillythebard 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whats the point in saying something? Is it really your place to say something? If he wants her to know, he'll says something or she'll discover how he really is somewhere down the line. But think of this...its not t.v., if you say something to her, he could flip, i mean, literally flip out and stalk you or kill you or turn around and make your life a living hell when you finally get serious with someone else. You just never know these things. People get crazy when you mess with their life. My advice......think hard about what the consequences could be to you feeling less guilty.
2007-04-06 05:41:42 · answer #4 · answered by sooner_buckeye79 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Okay, he was seeing two women when he got married, and continued to pursue you afterwards. He is a dog and was just using you for extra sex. He claimed he loved you but dumped you the instant you caused a problem in his life. He's probably already found some other slut to cheat with. You should come clean, but not for your sake. You've been selfish enough in this. You need to tell her for her sake. So that she knows what is happening in her marriage.
2007-04-06 05:33:44 · answer #5 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
you have to ask yourself the question, what would you want to be done to you? Would't you rather know? She may not believe you because it will be your word against his...but you know my opinion she has a right to know. I know that I would. Poor woman is living a lie- his lie. Next time you should never put yourself in that situation, what goes around comes around my friend. So handle maturely and get it out.. good luck. You'll be doing the right thing.
2007-04-06 05:37:11 · answer #6 · answered by r_fazenbaker 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you have been busted yes I would confess to messing up another womens home. She of course will ream out her husband for his infedelity but if really he has stopped his ways. I still believe you should tell the wife because I doubt he has and she deserves to know!
Find a single guy and stop helping out homewrecking and disrespectful pigs.
2007-04-06 05:34:27 · answer #7 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You certainly upset his "having his cake and eating it too" situation. You do realize that you won't be the last woman he will cheat on his wife with. If you want to tell her, call her and tell her. You certainly don't owe him anything. Personally, if I was in her shoes, I would want to know.
And stay away from married men. As you found out, they are nothing but trouble. If he had truly loved you, he would not have married another woman.
2007-04-06 05:33:46 · answer #8 · answered by Abby 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Well that's a tough one. You new what kind of guy he was when you kept up the relationship. doing this just to make yourself feel better stinks. If you care about the other lady you might try sending her a letter, but be aware this may make a very irrate ex-boyfiend.
2007-04-06 05:37:08 · answer #9 · answered by califgypsy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She has the right to know what her husband has been doing. You are not the first person he cheated with and you will not be the last. This poor woman knows the truth believe me, but yes, you should tell her the truth, you will feel alot better about yourself, and you will be helping her get rid of that loser.
2007-04-06 05:34:59 · answer #10 · answered by carrie 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋