My ex girlfriend and I split up around 2 months ago,and she finished with me due to stress at the time from other things. We still remained friends,but I always wanted more,and tried so hard to get over her. Yesterday, she invited me around her place to watch a dvd and have lunch. We watch the DVD and midway through I find myself holding her hand, and her not pushing me off. Then we play around for a bit, and I end up kissing her, she doesn't pull me away, and we carry on. This goes on for the next hour or so, she says she isn't over me, and misses me and really likes me, i say i miss her and like her too, and that maybe we shud get back together,but a slower relationship this time.she agrees,and i leave later. then i get a message saying that she hates me, that i realised she had feelings for me, and i shud have left it,& not come on to her! / Now i feel stupid,& she says she wants to go cold, as best for all, as her emotions are shattered!
2007-04-06 04:58:45 · 11 answers · asked by dafadf a 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
How many times are you going to ask the same question? Until you get the answer you want to hear? If you want to live in denial, do it somewhere else and don't ask anyone here for help. Otherwise, accept the fact that you have to leave this girl alone, you screwed up and you lost her cos you're a horny bastard. Move on!
2007-04-06 05:13:53 · answer #1 · answered by Hot Coco Puff 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Darling. She is jacking with you. She invited YOU over, She said she still likes you, I assume she kissed you back. You didn't "realize" she had feelings for you, she told you she did. Then, she left you a message saying she hates you and wants to go cold. She is doing a very classic hot/cold coquette move. Gets you heated up, and then goes cold, leaving you to wonder what you "should have done" or didn't do, or what's wrong with you. It's a game and you are getting played. She might not be doing it on purpose, but it's what it is. And, even more, I bet she did this to you when you were dating too.
Forget her. Tell her you think that you made the wrong choice to make a move on her. Realize you've been played, and go focus on some other hottie who will like you for who you are and isn't interested in games. And if another girl doesn't come along immediately, dive into a passion or pick up a new one. Ignore her, except to be distantly polite. Actually, ironically, doing this will probably freak her out and make her pursue you --as strange as that is.
Good luck.
2007-04-06 12:32:03 · answer #2 · answered by Shannon M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow up. There are literally billions of women in the world. You will be a happier and more attractive person when you care less whether or not one person speaks to you again. Accept her absolute freedom to choose. Move on.
When you are a mature self-confident loving person you will enjoy being free to give your affection to many women, not just one, and hopefully to build a circle of female friends who are equally open to being in a wider world of love.
This silly focusing of all your emotional investment on just one person and imagining that what you are experiencing is "love" is really juvenile.
Google on Malvina Reynolds' song "Magic Penny" and listen to her message.
Read Erich Fromm's "The Art of Loving" and wake up and see that teenage infatuation is not at all what real love is about.
2007-04-06 12:14:03 · answer #3 · answered by fra59e 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she didn't want more than she wouldn't have invited you over to watch a movie or responded to you coming onto her. I think she is just not sure what she wants because she is saying one thing and doing another. I sympathise with you because you're in a tough spot. I think you two need to sit down and really talk it out.
2007-04-06 12:09:22 · answer #4 · answered by coldplay30 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, this is wayyyy too much DRAMA for one guy to handle. She's the one who invited you over to her place; what did she expect? Let her go, man, it's not worth the hassle. Godloveya.
2007-04-06 12:10:56 · answer #5 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do as she wishes. I bet you that she will call or text you at some point. I think she will come crawling back when you actually do what she asked.
2007-04-06 12:08:34 · answer #6 · answered by January 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she doesnt hate you
She hates the feelings of insecurity that knowing you or losing you brought into her life
She needs space and reassurance that past deeds can be learnt from and you can build on that and grow closer
2007-04-10 05:48:10 · answer #7 · answered by ~*tigger*~ ** 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like she wants to b with you but it afraid of getting hurt or something. Go for it.
2007-04-06 12:06:43 · answer #8 · answered by Lindsay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to do something about it!! dont just leave it like that... she's just saying that because she needs to collect herself! My advice would be to take action when you see an opening
2007-04-06 12:04:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yep
2007-04-06 12:05:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋