Can you easily forgive?

Question

It has become very difficult for me to forgive people cause I've set a parameter between right and wrong. Consequently, most of the time I find people on the wrong side and thus avoid to mingle with them. Can you people advise me?

Answer 1

I have had a difficult time relating to people because I follow a strict moral code for my behavior. I try not to consider myself better than others...and try not to be judgemental. I believe it is each person's choice to live their life how they choose to live it, just as it is mine. Therefore, it is my choice that I do not surround myself with the types of people who do not make choices for themselves that i consider unhealthy. It is their right to do so, but I don't have to make it part of my life as well. I have found that it can be very difficult to find people in life that share your similar moral values, but when you do, those relationships will last a lifetime and will be well worth the wait.

As far as forgiveness....I don't believe it is ever easy...and the more you've been hurt/wronged, the harder it gets. Good luck.

Answer 2

It's always better, to forgive and forget.
otherwise it would be too difficult to survive in this world.
i learnt from my own experience, that if you forgive people who have wronged you, they develop a guilty feeling, and try to be reasonably better-behaved, in the second phase.
if you go on cutting people fron your list, no one would remain.
and even we might have done some wrong to some body, so if they eliminate us, won't we feel hurt ?
of course, you can always make an exception, between the ones who have done minor mistakes, and the others, who have wronged us seriously.
like, can you forgive a father, who has molested his own daughter ?

Answer 3

Forgiveness is a deep struggle of mine... I've had a lot of vile things happen to me in my life... often criminal...

But someone once gave me the definition of unforgiveness as: "Being tethered to a stone." Forgiveness was releasing yourself from that stone.

If you have wronged another - or made a mistake... don't you want to receive mercy? So do they.

I have had to learn how to forgive - by doing it every time the wrong comes to mind... it's EXTREMELY hard at first... but becomes easier over time and with practice.

This does not mean to become a doormat and allow others to walk all over you. Disallow disrespect... forgive them when they fail you... and stay wise.

A person readily willing to continue to disrespect and hurt you is someone you need to forgive - and then FORGET about being around.

Let go of resentment.
Let go of grudges.
Seek to be gentle with others.

If you are near those who act in ways you disapprove of - seek a way to love them, and maintain your values. Act uprightly around them while being loving will make them seek the peace they perceive in you... and often will influence them to look at themselves.

For me - my only way to do this is with God through my faith in Jesus Christ. I have no other way to operate gently without Him... since alone, I become closed, hard and judgemental... fearful of being the "victim" again.

Seek a way that expresses loving ways... you will find it easier to forgive.

Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail. Love is eternal.

Peace dear one.

Answer 4

Forgive them if they stepped on your foot or did something on accident. But if somebody cheated on you or has a habit of lying or stealing, I would do what you do and avoid them. Nobody is perfect and God teaches us to forgive...not to preach, but I think that you should be selective of what you forgive. I would never forgive a murderer, but something small....you should get over. Tell the person it bothered you and then you can move on. Good luck!

Answer 5

You sound a little inflexible. First, I think you should become strong enough to be able to be with people who don't think like you, because doing so does not mean you have to change the way you are or think. I used to hang out with people who never went to Church and we used to go out on trips often, They got used to the fact that no matter where we went, I had to go to Church on Sunday. They used to kid me about it, but it did not change my behavior. In some ways it is still that way. Maybe I am inflexible in my behavior, but I don't proselytize to others. I think people do what they think they have to do; it doesn't mean I have to do it.

Answer 6

People are flawed, lest you are perfect, you should not judge and you should practice forgiveness. Some of the kindest people I know are who they are because they've learned from past mistakes. If you ostrisized yourself from all who've wronged, you're going to find yourself very ALONE. good luck...

Answer 7

I think you need to lower your standards a little bit... why are you so tough on other people? Try to give people more chances instead of rushing to a harsh judgment.

Answer 8

i have trouble forgiving sumtimes depending on the situation, but most likely i forgive easily, but i never forget.

Answer 9

yes, i can easily forgive...i find that i continue this too, much.
when i get mad at someone, and i start spilling all my rage out, i feel better, then i regret that i even started letting out my anger, then i forgive the person i was mad at............i just have to forgive, for some reason...........

Answer 10

If you are religious, consider this: "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father also will forgive you; but if you do not forgive men their trespasses neither will your father forgive your trespasses."