Well, right off the bat, me and my SIL did not get along. She is always trying to compete with me for my husband's attention (weird!). She gets in between our marriage and stirs up problems. Me and husband recently estimated that in the past year, 85% of our fights can be traced back to something she did or said to cause drama. We had a falling out about a year ago (me and SIL), but since then have made up and tried to be friends.
But recently, she has started making rude and cutting remarks to me when her brother (my husband) isn't around. I have tried to ignore it, and deal with it, but it's driving me crazy! I have never understood why she HATES me so much. (she has assaulted me in the past, but I declined to press charges)
I really want to tell her off, and let her know that she MUST show me respect... but I don't want to cause a rift in the family again. My husband is on my side, and has suggested cutting evil SIL out of our lives, but I feel GUILTY.
What should I do?
2007-04-06 04:35:08 · 19 answers · asked by The Sweetness ASU 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
She is a year younger than me.
We are all in our mid-twenties.
2007-04-06 04:44:34 · update #1
Your husband is right, You all should cut her out of your lives. When you say your vowels during your marriage ceremony, you take a vowel to forsake all others. That means friends and FAMILY. Plus, that is your husbands sister. If he suggests that you all cut her out of your lives, Then don't you think he knows her better than you? Maybe he knows that the situation is not going to get better anytime soon and he wants his marriage to work out, so forget being guilty. You have nothing to feel guilty about. You are doing what you're supposed to do. If you and her brother cut her off, She'll come to her senses eventually. If not, than you didn't need her in your lives to begin with.
2007-04-06 04:45:32 · answer #1 · answered by Trice81 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know where you are coming from. My sister and brother in laws are very similar. I know exactly what their problem is too - they are jealous of me and my husband because we are pretty successful and own a business and they have nothing. I dont feel sorry for them. They made their own life choices - i.e. didn't get an education, etc.
Anyway, I would tell the SIL that you will no longer take her BS and if she cant accept you and treat you decently then she will no longer be a part of your lives. At least your husband is on your side. That's definately an advantage.
My husband cant see how bad his brothers and sisters really are. They only call us when they need something or want money. Heck, even his parents take advantage of us. We work very hard for what we have and I don't like seeing it given away, never to be returned. I think it's totally unfair to me and our kids. They talk about me spending money and say I am spoiled. Well - so what! I make my money I can spend it however I want to. I dont expect anything to be given to me for free.
Sorry, I didn't mean to unload my problems on you, I can just relate to the family problems. Good luck to you. I hope things get better for you.
2007-04-06 04:47:35 · answer #2 · answered by I know, I know!!!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what u r going threw my sil and i dont like each other either( not from lack of me trying though I have tried to get along with her but shes a lieing and deceitful B**ch that doesnt want anything to do with my fam which is her husbands fam.) What I do now is I keep my distance and if we have to come in contact cuz of family functions then I act the real women. I put a imaginary bubble around me and keep my head up and make sure i have an air about me that she can feel that I am better then her believe me when u do this another women can pick up on it.
2007-04-06 04:53:57 · answer #3 · answered by NickyNawlins 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There should only be two people in a marriage, you don't need a 3rd wheel bringing you down, making comments that hurt you and your husband. Your husband is right, cut her off, time to move on, or else this will remain as an issue and you and your husband will never get pass this.
2007-04-06 04:41:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think she is very much jealous of you as a women. I don't know what you look like but if you are an attractive young lady (you sound like it) it maybe because she is jealous of you looks, also, you may have some or certain spark, wit or some kind of good personal quality about you she is jealous of; for an example perhaps your presence lights up the room. If not just one, its the total package. I feel this all stems from jealousy. If it is the case then watch her behavior and listen to her comments more carefully before you expose the truth. You letting the truth of her destructive ways known to her face will make her stop(hopefully). But let it be know, she is letting you know that she hates you, you have the right to voice your feelings to. good luck
2007-04-06 04:44:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need to get away from this evil woman. Seriously, I would cut all ties BUT to do that might mean moving far away. And as for the assaulting thing, next time that happens definitely press charges! That will show her that you can't be pushed around. Stand up for yourself....especially since your husband is on your side on this one! Good luck!
2007-04-06 04:39:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is simply jealous of you. The best way to make her stop is to either A) cut her out of your lives, B) not say anything to her at all when she makes remarks or whine about it later, or C) kill her with kindness. The last one is the best one, and it makes the world so much better. Whenever she has something negative to say, like I hate the way that shirt looks on you. Its horrible! Instead of giving a dirty look, just say, well, I am sorry it doesn't appeal to you. Next time I go shopping, well you help me find something that is more prettier on me than this? Trust me, it will shut her up quick. It worked with me on a co-worker that always had something negative to say to me.
2007-04-06 04:53:48 · answer #7 · answered by cinnatigg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is she? If she is younger (in early teens) then she is probably just jealous, and might think that you're trying to steal her brother away, if they have a good relationship. I'd suggest just sitting down and just saying "this is how it's gonna be." Just tell her that you're not leaving, and if she does make rude remarks, just ignore it and walk away.
But if you seriously can't take it anymore, talk to your husband and try to get him to sit down and talk to her.
2007-04-06 04:41:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sucks when family members get involved in things that they shouldn't. My family has problems with that. The best thing to do is to break way from her for a while. It doesn't have to be forever, but just long enough to show her that she no longer has control.
2007-04-06 04:40:06 · answer #9 · answered by rosie768 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe, she was used to have ur husband's attention when he was not yet married...and now that he has a wife, she's jealous and would try everything to get rid out of some barriers... she's insane!
you better move to another place and don't let her live with u guys again (even if she would ask u a favor someday, no no no)
move move move... :)
2007-04-06 04:47:42 · answer #10 · answered by deejaye_11 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋