if youve gone through alot of pain, trauma and hardship in your life, do you feel jealous and angry at those?

Question

who've not gone through anything, and are happy in life, and wear huge grins and smiles all the time?

how do you not feel like this? or disgruntled towards folk? and society?
what type of inner resolve does it take not to feel like this?

Answer 1

Well I don't scorn those who have a good life compared to mine because it was probably me who made my life worse than theirs! So just say that you can improve your life and it should get better eventually.

Answer 2

YES!

I hate those stupid grins. I wish I could make them suffer and feel pain the way I did,
then see how wel they cope with lots of pain and frustration themselves...

How do you not feel or think these things? Why do you ask this?
I think its Its natural to do so..
Its just that other poeple around you say you shouldnt think/talk that way,
Yet they cannot give you any darn good explanation or some good advice wich realy works or helps you.
So the only truth then my fellow einstein is that, everything they say would've been just plein BS...

So stop listening to them would mean your onto a new path
A path that maybe WILL lead you to truths that DOES help you. Cus that other path just misled you and kept you in the dark.
You need some other type of medicine.
For some its actual vengeance, for others its therapy without violance.
Its totally up to you. But in persuit of what works for you,
never lie to yourself. Once you know why I said that, you be a better man.
1st step is not to listen to others talking about you cuz often.
most of the things they say wont work.
Why? Because it just doesnt. It never had. So it never will.
you never knew why But now you know.
And maybe you always kinda knew but never actually stood still
and had a look at what you were doing.

Its

A+ .. = C
A is your frustration.
.. is unknown wich is your answer.
C, actually is not you speaking, but others. And you never knew exactly why the said the things they said.
therefore You can never know what ".." has to be, wich is your solution.

Answer 3

I went through terrible tragedy in my teens when my Mother was murdered, this had a knock on effect which caused her parents to die from shock and my family split. i was kicked out by my Dad's new wife at 18 and went through the worst years of my life alone.

I truly believe that there is always someone worse off than me, that was how I got through it. I stopped feeling sorry for myself, gave myself a good kick up the a*** and got on with life. I spent a lot of time with my friends parents, but I was never jealous, to this day they still look upon me as another daughter.

It takes a lot to get through something like this, but I think we have an inner strength that we do not know exists until it kicks in when we need it. I really think I am a better, stronger person today as a result of what I went through many years ago.

Answer 4

I have been through considerable amounts of pain, hardship, mental & physical abuse throughtout my life starting when I was six months old and had to be taken away from my family because my father was an alchoholic and used to beat me if I cried, I was away for a year then they gave me back because he had stopped drinking, which was a load of lies because he was still heavily drinking and beating me, my sister and my mother, when I eventually got him inprisoned at the age of 14 for raping me for 4 years every night. - But that is just the tip of the iceberg.

I do feel angry that others do not understand what it is I have been throught, and that nothing has happened to them but at the same time I am also thankfull that they have not had to endure what I have.

I do not have any inner resolve - I just distance myself from the rest of the human race only having contact with my fiance (who knows my history), my grandparents and my mother-in-law to be. If I have to interact with other humans it is only as a last resort and I do not have friends as such that I talk with. That is why I like talking on the internet as no-one can judge a image on a screen, that does not have a name and in most cases a real face.

I just try to get on with each day as it comes and know I will only be truly free to be me once my father is in his grave.

Answer 5

Everyone has his own fate to live out. For some people there is more hardship in life than for others. But as my best friend said when she was a teenager and going through a very difficult period: I am thankful for all the difficulties and hardship that come my way, as they give me an opportunity to learn and become a better person.

Answer 6

Feeling jealous over someones good fortune to me is a childhood thing where we were jealous if someone had a better toy than us.
I found a lot of support from friends have kept my belief that one day I will have what I was looking for at the start of my adulthood, instead of feeling jealous I found it feels better to feel optimistic that I can strive for something, but saying that it took me 3 year to finally believe that, and now i do.
Yes i have felt jealousy and resentment which is why now more than ever its not a healthy feeling to have. Sorting my life out and figuring out how i'm going to get it has been my best inner resolve for me.

Answer 7

Yes I can see why you could be bitter, but is it the fault of those people that they have had better lives? Is it destructive to you or them to be feeling this way about them? Life is unfair, some people get the breaks and others don't, that's just the way it is. By being tortured you are punishing yourself even more and I'm sure you could well do without that. You are now an adult and you need to stop being so angry at others and take control of your life. Your life is yours to control if you just try, get the therapy, get the BPD under control with the help of your doctors and get out there and work your butt off to improve your lot...don't just sit here complaining about it. Make your watchword PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY!

Answer 8

I have never met extremely few people who have not had trauma and hardship. The latest numbers are that 46 percent of people feel that they are currently being physically, emotionally, verbally and/or sexually abused in their current job. Over 50 percent of the population is also said to have diagnosable Depression. How can I feel angry at people who I don't see around me anywhere.

Just because a person smiles, it does not mean that they are not burdened by great hardship.

Answer 9

OH yes, and most people have, even if they are smiling. Remember this, 90% of people want you to think their lives are "perfect" and that it is because of their abilities, so very very few people will ever tell you the truth. Let me say this, there is no such thing as a "Hallmark" anything, except greeting card. I hope you understand this reference. I have been thru hell and back in the last 10 years, if you can and want to email me, I can help you, as I have been in your stage, which is a normal one, check out the stages of grief, and this may sound gross but .... I say to myself, "Can you still wipe your own butt" and when I can say yes, I think of all the paralyzed people and people without arms etc, who can't. I once saw a guy perform in our church who was born without arms and he played the guitar beautifully,but I began to wonder about all the things I couldn't do without my arms. But don't beat yourself up for feeling this way, anger is a state and it comes and goes. ANd it really depends on if your troubles are emotionally based, or financially or physically or multiple. If they are emotional, look up emotional trauma. Sometimes if we get compassion and understanding for our situation instead of people saying "well, so and so has it worse than you' that is the opposite of compassion. I would love to email with you.

Answer 10

I think that having a "good" life and a "bad" life is a matter of perspective. I believe that in everyone's life a little rain must fall. Some people see their hardships as problems to work through and learn from, and some people stop and and halt their life at every roadblock. Life is an exciting adventure with many challenges and we need to prepare ourselves for the task. It isn't good or bad, it is.

Answer 11

Firstly, have you been to the doctors?? Is it depression? Could it be possible that counselling would help? Sometimes to air your issues is a great release to help moving on, and finding a place where you are good with you again...
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I've never found it so with me.

There are varying degrees of what any one person would consider pain, trauma, hardship...to each individual, it will always mean something different.

What would 'those who have never gone through anything' constitute? "anything" would mean, have never ever ever had anything bad happen to them at all...and that, is just not a possibility....

The 5 year old boy who's puppy dies...to him, that could feel like the end of the world.

I always look at it this way, my troubles and pains are mine, and to me, they may seem great at the time, but, life never hands someone more than they can take...truly, we are very resilient beings. It may feel like it's the last straw, and we're done with it all, at the end of our rope...but, things always right themselves, somewhere. It's the nature of things, the way life goes, ups and downs, sometimes more up, sometimes more down...but it will always balance itself.

I believe everything happens for a reason. I believe we are never dished more than we can handle. I believe that when times seem to be the toughest, is when we have to dig deeper, and find that place that reminds us what it's like to be happy, and remember, no matter how hard things may seem, no one that truly loves us (in this life or moved on to the next plane) would want us dragging ourselves down being angry, upset, jealous...

It's not in my makeup to be that way. I find it hard to remain down, because I always see the good in everything around me, even when it feels like things are crashing on me...and it reminds me...dig deeper, it'll all come around again. Don't stay down, get up, learn to laugh and let go.

Sometimes, when things are rough, the hardest thing to do is smile or laugh...but when you dig deep enough and find that spot, and just let it all go (I sometimes laugh when I cry), it's liberating. The 'weight of the world' just lifts.

It takes far too much energy to stay down and be angry and hurt and bitter and resentful, and it'll suck the life out of you, and keep you down, but only if you let it...

Something so simple...a memory of something from a happier time, find the smile, find the energy, remember the hope...it DOES get better...but only if you open up the curtains (open your eyes), open up the windows (open up your soul), and let the sun shine in, let the breeze hit your face (take a deep breathe), and remember....
Love this life.
Love yourself.
and know you're not alone...

Look to your friends.
Look to your family.
There is a support system of people that love and care for you...

..and yes, it's repetitive, but it will, my friend, always right itself, it will, always balance out.

I hope you find your peace, and I hope you find your happiness again, find your smile.
If you need an ear, I'm glad to make a new friend...