Should I stop?

Question

Last night my son was having a hard time and really hating school because he thinks he doesn't have many friends.

He told me everything he was doing to make new friends and I told him "Everyone wants to be heard. Maybe you should just find someone to listen too and see what happens."

My wife over heard my advise and brushed it off and then told me I should NOT be giving my son advise because he is not ready to hear it.

I don't understand what I did wrong. I'm his father and I gave him advise. Why should I stop?

FYI
My son is 13.
Strong willed (stuborn)
And HAS stood up for (& to) his friends to do what he thinks is right.

Answer 1

Every scientific study, every counsellor, every teacher, everyone who knows anything about kids will tell you the same thing:

Talk to your kids. Listen to your kids. KNow what is going on in their lives. Spend time with them.

You did the right thing and you must continue to do the right thing. Even if it is hard for him or for you, you are doing the right thing. Parenting is not supposed to be easy, but your love and support will definitely carry him through, even when it's difficult.

Good job.

TALK TO YOUR KIDS!!!

Answer 2

Well firstly the circumstance depends on the age of your son, if he was a teenager then it was the right choice, but 12 years or younger it is not the right thing to say.

With a child they think in different ways when they get advice, when you said "Everyone wants to be heard." I think your wife immediately thought that your son will go into the school one day and start shouting at everyone to "be heard"

You should advise him to open up and talk to people and not be shy rather than saying that everyone needs to be heard; you're a good father, but you shaped your advice the wrong way.

Don't give up helping your son, you need the father and son relationship.

Good luck for you and your son (and wife) :)

I'm 17 and I have a 10 year old brother; he does not have the father and son relationship that he should have as a growing boy.

Answer 3

Always talk to your son. When he is 30 and has a son of his own he will thank you. You are his father and should be his best friend.

You might tell him you will take a day off work and follow him around school. Maybe that will make him stop complaining. Because we all know how he is going to like that. LOL. Tell him in college, the army or at work, his friends will not be there to help him get his job done, so why does he need them?

P.S. Make sure you spend some extra time with his so he does not slip away to the wrong crowed for acceptance! Keep up the good work!

Answer 4

He is your son, so you can give him advice, but some advice might backfire. You advice to him was good, but only if he is strong enough not to fall under peer pressure from the wrong crowd. Tell your son to join sports or clubs at the school. That usually helps kids to make friends with people they normally wouldn't have, but will if they have the same interest. As for your wife, she might just be a little pessimistic, so don't let her tell you that you can't give advice. Marriage is based on a 50-50 chance to say your opinion of things.

Answer 5

What does she mean he's not ready to hear it?

He's your son, of course he'll be ready to hear it, he needs you now and you did the right thing. If he's hating school because he's having a tough time making friends, what YOU need to do know is let him know that he has a friend in you.

Keep on doing what you're doing in, maybe he'll realize you're right and in due time he'll figure out what you're trying to tell him. School is hard, and making friends is harder. he should try to find someone who shares his same interests.

The advice shouldn't stop, your son needs someone now more than before and I bet he feels good knowing that his father's always there to help him and see him through. Good luck with it, I know things will look up for your baby :)

Answer 6

I hope you're not wrong! I talk to my kids all the time about their problems. If your son feels he can talk to you, he will always have a special relationship with you. And you might save him from making really bad mistakes.
Well done on having such a good and positive relationship with him.

Answer 7

I think you should give him advice. In today's world, I'm not sure if any one isn't ready to hear something. o_o;

But besides that, I think parental advice is something that should be heard. And this is coming from a teen. ;)

Answer 8

well maybe you should stop because your wife thinks that your son is 2 young to hear it. maybe you should talk to your wife and ask her why she told you to stop.

Answer 9

well she has issues and so just keep doin what your doin what ur doin and just tell her well than he wont make it through life with out a lil advice so just give him more advice and see what happens i am sure good will come out of it

Answer 10

since your his father u shouldn't stop giving him advice since you want the best 4 him..give him all the smart knowledge u can