Be Honest -are YOU an Instigator who brings out the worst in people Or an encourager who brings out the best ?

Question

I fall into the second category. But I know people who relentlessly taunt & instigate others just to tear them down until they're completely provoked & pushed beyond their limit. Isn't it extremely MEAN ??

I've always been an encourager who often gone that EXTRA mile even for strangers to pull them up from the gutter.Sometimes they were not even nice to me but still unselfishly I've done that. I could recall this particular incident when this man was so jaded & bitter that it almost showed through his harsh & stern words. His verbal lashes were so difficult & humiliating to digest. And yet I decided to see beyond his sternness, if any sufferings he might have. When the world was judgemental towards him, I went beyond my limit risking rejection to offer him the love, admiration & approval that he so badly needed cuz I could see as a human, he needed that. But when he recovered from his bitterness I was the first person he taunted & tried to tear down. Do you've any such experience??

And worse yet he did that when I was at my lowest ebb. I wasn't expecting anything but I wasn't expecting him to tear me down either....
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Legendary, I appreciate what you said, but sometimes the stab wound is so damn deep it simply never gets healed. The more you try to move past, to rise above, to go beyond, it just get deeper and deeper scarring even more and I think no matter what we do but some wounds never get healed.

And yes, this is NOT the lesson I wanted to learn, and also this is not the way I wanted to learn it. And believe me this is the only thing I never wanted to learn, never....

Answer 1

Good deeds and intentions often go unappreciated,or as in your case only fuel a fire of rejection...Still, even though tainted,one can get past that & be the humane person most of society longs for..You seem to be stronger due to this experience of yours so that in itself is a lesson well learned..As for the man mentioned,one day he too will have a lesson to learn,only his will be self destructive.Thanx~ for being a "good" fellow human being..I admire ya for it.

Answer 2

I'm not the world's most altruistic person, but I try to be positive and encouraging in general. My ex was one of those people who just wants to tear others down. He'd set me all these challenges and get more and more upset and difficult to live with every time I lived up to them. Some people just want others to hurt because of their own misery and insecurity. Long story short, you can't heal everybody, and though it's worth making an effort for people, sometimes you just have to cut your losses.

Answer 3

It depends on what kind of mood I am in and what situation I am in. In my job I HAVE to bring the best out in people, I have to get a performance (literally) out of people so I need to be as encouraging and professional as possible.
Personally I tend to be a bit of an antagonist....it is the misanthropist in me!

I think erveryone has a bit of both in them. Everyone has that compassion and everyone has that contempt. It is just a facet of human nature.

Answer 4

Some people just do not know how to express love and appreciation for the fear of being rejected, and in need of attention so badly, they tend to push people farther away.

Answer 5

I could be both, it depends on the other person to be honest.. Besides, you should rush to help every single living soul you meet.. Most of them don't deserve it, they'll take it, use you and walk all over you.. I've had my share of experiences lol, moral of the story, don't be uber nice to everyone.. Moreover, don't expect others to be nice to you..

Answer 6

encourager,who hopefully brings out the best in people.