I WAS WITH A MAN FOR 12 YEARS AND HE CHEATED ON ME, SO NOW HES WITH ANOTHER WOMAN. HE STILL WANTS TO BE MY FRIEND, SO HE STILL COMES AROUND TO SEE ME, STILL CALLS ME. THIS HAS BEEN VERY HARD ON ME AND MY 2 SONS. I CANT SEEM TO STOP LOVING HIM, BUT I HATE HER I FEEL SORRY FOR HER CUASE SHE HAS CANCER BUT CANT STAND HER....I HAVE BEEN EVERY DEPRESSED FOR THE LAST 8 MONTHS,, I DONT KNOW HOW TO MOVE ON, CANT SEEM TO GET OVER HIM.. I HAVE TRYED TO HATE HIM BUT THAT DOSNT WORK (IM NOT A HATEFULL PERSON) I DONT KNOW HOW TO GET OVER HIM AND MOVE ON (WE LIVE IN A SMALL TOWN TOO) I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT THESES FEELINGS, IM NOT TO SURE HOW TO MOVE ON, I DONT GO OUT WITH NO ONE I FEEL LIKE IM CHEATING ON HIM BUT WE ARE NOT TOGETHER.. SO DOES ANYONE OUT THERE UNDERSTAND WHAT IM SAYING?? PLEASE HELP ME ON THIS ONE!!
2007-04-05 23:46:43 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
if she is dying of cancer, why isn't he with her full-time??? are you and him still having intimate relations??? cos the only reason he'd still be visiting, is cos he's getting something to make him keep coming back...
perhaps you should tell him to go away... and not deal with him...
2007-04-06 00:48:49 · answer #1 · answered by Forlorn Hope - returned 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very difficult to move on with your own life when this man is coming around and calling you "as a friend". It's obvious that he wants to keep you on the side and be with her too! In other words...have his cake and eat it too. I always am amazed when people say they can't stand the "other woman/man" but still love the one who cheated onand hurt them! This guy made a choice to cheat...he made a choice to leave you AND your sons after 12 years. He not only hurt you...but he hurt your children!!! You need to end this "friendship" NOW before it destroys you and your kids. Then start going out socially...with friends to start...join clubs, a church, whatever...just get out among people. Eventually you will meet someone who is more deserving of your love. However, you're not ready to start a new relationship until you end the old one
2007-04-06 06:57:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel ya, I was with my x fiancee for 8 years and he cheated! I couldnt be friends at first it took me being away from him for about 8 months when finally I realized I would rather have him in my life as a friend than not at all! It is hard to see him with someone new, and know we will probably never be together again but hes my best friend! And everything happens for a reason!
2007-04-06 06:49:58 · answer #3 · answered by ohio8babe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well,
First: Your relationship is OVER!Keep this on your mind and then you won't feel like you are cheating on him.
Second: You DESERVE to be happy, so go out with other guys, start dating again, you should live your life and not cry for him all the time.
Forget about his existence. I know it is easier to say than to do, but force yourself not to keep your mind on him.
My advice would be not to meet him at all. Seeing him, talking to him would just make you feel worse.
He's got another woman...so FORGET ABOUT HIM!
He cheated on you, this means that he doesn't love you. He hurt you and he is not worth your tears. You need a man who will be there for your all the time, and who is not that jerk as to cheat on you.
If you start looking for the right man, I'm sure you will find him.
Just STOP THINKING about that jerk who made you suffer!
Good luck
2007-04-06 07:06:56 · answer #4 · answered by atrabel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You bet ya. Been there and will probally be there again but for a shorter time.
Mind over matter. pick a day any day look at a calendar and circle a day. On that day, I mean this , On that day, you have choosen to let go. to move on.
You know you cant go back, you know it isnt your fault and you know that you deserve some happiness.
on that day, you will have no more contact with him.
if he calls , tell him, that you need to heal and move on in your life and you cant do that with him in it
, So no more phone calls, no more stopping by and you except him to respect your decision and follow what you ask and say GOOD BYE.
On that day you have planned and on the road to your goal of freeing yourself of the past. Make yourself do this. you may cry or feel lonley at times, but dont give in or give up on yourself.
please not only do this for you. Do this for your boys.
show them / teach them that when life doesnt work out, how you wanted it. then one must find a new road, to discover new challenges and greater things.
We all deserve to have happiness, love and great friendships.
We all will be hurt and hurt again , but there only lessions, that make us stronger and more knowledgable, that gives us the strenght not to settle for nothing less, then what we deserve.
because we know that what we gave and give to others is our everything, some just dont get it, some just took us for granted, some just didnt deserver it and some are so wounded, that they cant see.us. But, we know what we have to ofter and we want to feel everything we can. its our right
So pick a day and follow what you know is right for you and for your childen, give them some hope and show them they dont have to hurt forever,because of someone elses mistakes.
2007-04-06 07:30:07 · answer #5 · answered by livelovelaugh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only time will heal your broken heart. It took me well over a year to start dating after I broke up with my ex of 12 years. I just tried to occupy myself with other things. I was afraid that if he asked me, I would take him back. After everything he had done to me, I knew that it was best I not go back to him. I avoided contact with him as best I could. I even had to miss a lot of the social functions to avoid him. I cried constantly for the few couple of months. Then I too, was depressed. Each month got better though. I got though it. I am not sure if I will ever find love again, but I am not tortured any more.
You will eventually get there, I promise.
2007-04-06 07:21:44 · answer #6 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move the F on. Get out of the small town, get a job in a decent sized city, meet new people. It'll be like starting all over again, which in your situation sounds like a good thing. F him for still staying in touch with you, he's a D-head - obviously.
2007-04-06 06:55:35 · answer #7 · answered by icehawk00 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand..
You can't get over someone you keep leting "IN". You most definately can't be just friends bc it hurts you too much right now. you Must tell him he cannot come around or call for some time bc you need to be alone and need a lot of personal space. If he doesn't get it then make him get it..be FIRM. It's your life, not his to invade bc he might "feel" bad..
You can love someone till it kills you, but you don't have to let them in, see them, talk to them, live with them, marry them or anything else.
I know bc everyone i have ever loved is gone now, by dying or just "leaving" me ...
you have to be strong and get stronger. and find one supportive friend ..maybe church or somewhere you go every week..
2007-04-06 07:03:12 · answer #8 · answered by Gary G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hear you girl! I'm in the exact same boat but i have been seperated for just over 3yrs.
in this time i have felt every emotion possible...
dated lots but all to no avail because by the 2nd or 3rd date my interest in them goes and i compare them to my ex.
He also cheated on me with one of my good friends and he still wants to be my friend. Its like he doesnt want me but he doesnt want anyone else to have me either...
when u figure it out girl, let me know cos i sure am interested in moving on with my life as well.
2007-04-06 07:54:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is a hard one the woman i love has two kids and her ex did the same thing i asked her how she deals with him and she told me she stays focus on her kids and jobs and she told every now and then she breaks down i know this is not a real answer all i can say is be strong and i wish you the best
2007-04-06 06:53:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋