My partner seems to think I should stay in on my own while he works and if he's earning money I shouldnt b spending at the same time. I dont spend a lot to b honest I just like a break now and again to go out and enjoy myself as I look after our son 24 7.! Do you think this is fair??
2007-04-05 23:32:47 · 27 answers · asked by Leesa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
D, . . . you obviously dont have children, every mother needs a break once in a while this does not mean we see motherhood as a job so dont you dare tell me I shouldnt have kids you nasty little . . . . . . .
2007-04-05 23:41:03 · update #1
go out and enjoy your self
if money is tight stick to a budget
2007-04-05 23:39:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u are entitled to go out if ur a sahm then yeah u have a 24/7 job u clean and cook and look after ur son and your husband and u dont get paid for it. i am in the same situation although i do go to college but i dont get paid for that. it took me a while for my husband to realize how hard my job was so in the end i told him to do what i did for a week and he didnt last a day, we now have come to a comprimise on how we spend the money. he doesnt mind me spendin money as long as everything we need to pay for is paid. but i dont usually go out on my own i feel lost if im in a club or pub without him and i dont feel comfortable but if i wanted to i could do (although i am going out on a doo with college at the end of the year which i dont mind goin to). anyway try and get ur husband to understand where u are coming from and that u want a break and u want to be able to spend some money i mean like i say if ur a sahm then u work 24/7 for nothing. all ur askin 4 is a night out a break thats not unreasonable hun. gud luk
2007-04-05 23:39:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
DANGER-DANGER.
We all know that everyone needs a break.
Just make sure this is not a setup and the Cheater's van is not in your town.
His mom should understand that a woman needs a break which is why she is helping you.
Make sure your behavior is ABOVE REPROACH.
Go to a museum and a cafe with a female friend. Leave the alcohol in the bottle and you will be much better off.
If going out and having a "good time" means drinking dancing and drunk, its not a good idea.
Here's an even better idea hire a sitter and go out with mom.
You know that this will not sit well with husband. He knows what your "out" behavior is like. You need to prove that this is not a problem and you can be trusted to do this without issue.
Don't blow it this time because it will haunt you for years if you do not behave.
2007-04-06 01:04:05 · answer #3 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need a break - dont let your partner chain you to the house so that you cant get out at all. If his mother is willing to babysit then what is the problem?
How about making time for the two of you to go out together at some point. Show him how hard it is for you to stay in 24/7 with your son - at least he gets to come home from work and gets breaks whilst he is at work!!
Good luck xx
2007-04-06 00:41:43 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Claire - Hates Bigotry 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This isn't a question of fairness.
It will be best that you wait for the time where you and your partner will be free to go out together.
Your partner should understand that being a mother is a 24/7 job and that he owes it to take you out at least once a week.
Good Luck.
2007-04-05 23:42:43 · answer #5 · answered by Ruth Art 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly where do you go out to, who with, and what do you get up to? If its a nice place, with mutual friends, just have a good time (nothing that you wouldn't want your partner to know about), then yes you are entitled to some down time on your own.
Do you do it often? You said now and then, so I do think your entitled to that much.
But if he doesn't have some understanding about working while you relax, then point out to him that when he gets home you're still looking after the house and the baby, and this includes weekends, public holidays etc. so in effect you're working on those days he isn't. Does he have the right to relax on those days? Of course, and so do you.
Also might not hurt to have the baby sat so you two can relax together.
Best of Luck, B
2007-04-05 23:48:48 · answer #6 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You obviously need a break somehow when you are a 24/7 stay-at-home mother. There's no problems about taking just a night out.
I am also guessing that his mum do not see anything wrong with it that is why she is offering to look after your child while you're out.
2007-04-06 00:18:13 · answer #7 · answered by ET 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess you guys are young. Well, it will be tough on you, but work it out so you do not cause friction. Perhaps invite people over when he works and if you had a job then he could do the same. If you start going out and leaving your child with others, then that child is raised by others. Make the sacrifice both of you...there is a child involved now
2007-04-05 23:41:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, there is nothing wrong with you going out occasionally, not every week because you have your son and you don't want to make use of your mother in law, but let your hair down at some stage to stay sane as a mother!
2007-04-05 23:36:08 · answer #9 · answered by ballarinababyz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No way. You are the mom and your responsibility is to look after these kids. Being a mom means not being selfish and not taking time for yourself - that's the sacrifice one makes when one decides to have children. You give up the "single" life, and live your life for your children. Be grateful you have a guy who is providing for you, too.
It's all a matter of maturity - seems like to have to make some serious attitude adjusting here, and be more positive about your role as a mom and keeping the family happy.
2007-04-06 00:45:34 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
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2016-11-07 09:03:10 · answer #11 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋