For married couples,should i let my husband play Online games most of his free time?

Question

before when we doesnt have internet conection yet..we used to watch movie as family.he used to help me with house works and cuddle each other while watching tv.He spends his free time wisely...but now
He just do his daily routine works just to keep me away from bubling his unwanted words! At the end of the day just find my self alone on the bed staring at him while Playing `RAN'. Sometimes i even want to have intimate times with him but i see nothing that excites him than playing online. Should i just undestand him?cz he usually says he stopped drinking,etc.thats just his pleasure time. But i`m starting to freak-out! cz he`s not like this before.
Need advice from married couples only.

Answer 1

My husband games and I usually game with him. When we were dating I had zero interest in computer games; I read while he played. But eventually I decided to give it a try because he was starting to read the comics I so dearly loved. Now I'm an avid gamer too. But we have had difficulties with it; any problems in the marriage will come out during gaming together. In a weird way, we actually were able to see some of our differences through gaming. It wasn't easy... there were times I swore I was quitting forever. But I'd come back because my husband found that he liked gaming wtih me more than gaming alone!

Now we have friends we game with too and there's a whole world of fun to have. We did eventually agree to set aside time for family things and "dates" with each other. Because gaming (like many other hobbies) is supposed to be fun and relaxing. Sometimes it's easy to let a hobby become more work than fun! We make sure to go out sometimes and sometimes we just watch movies together. Or we'll go out with the kids.

It's important to keep perspective on things, perhaps your man is new to gaming in which case I'd say you need to give him a little time but insist that he allocate time to spend with just you AND with the family. Because gaming can easily be an escape as well. Which is all nice and fine but you don't need someone popping off to fantasy-land every time there's a problem!

make a deal with him: give gaming a try yourself and vow to really stick with it (he'll enjoy being your mentor) so that the two of you have something enjoyable in common and in return he must agree to set aside time EVERY WEEK for couple-time and family time. It's a good comprommise and everyone wins. may take a bit for him to adjust but believe me, he will. My husband really appreciates time spent just us or family time. When we go back to gaming, I enjoy sharing something he so obviously loves, being a part of it.

Answer 2

Next time he settles down for a night of playing games on the computer and ignoring you, get dressed up and go out with some friends. He is disrespecting you at the moment because he thinks you will always be there waiting for him. Once he starts to worry that this may be a false assumption, he will lose interest in his childish games soon enough.

Answer 3

Ask him to limit his playing to an hour a day. You can't *stop* him from playing, but you can tell him how you feel and how it's hurting your marriage. Try talking to him when he's not playing, though. His game playing could really hurt your marriage.

Secretly, though, if you really hate this (and I don't recommend this), see if there's a way you can get a slower online connection. I have cable, and it costs less money to get a slower connection, so you could find a way to slow down the connection and then it won't be much fun. I don't recommend this because he will probably figure it out.

Answer 4

i dont know if i have advice, but i can tell you that my husband is the same way. he constantly wants to play game on the computer. we fight about it all the time. when i ask him to help out more around the house, he does it half a**** and then gets right back on the cpu. he used to only do it when i was in bed, but now he stays up til like 5am and then sleeps all the next day cause hes tired. then nothing gets done unless i do it, and we dont get to spend any time together bc hes too tired! and now hes even wanting to play on our days off together, he like tries to even bribe me to let him play when he knows that i want to be with him. im torn because i want to spend time with him, but also im hurt bc it seems like the only thing he enjoys is the cpu

Answer 5

First off, interesting that you use the word "let" - that speaks volumes. We have no control over the actions of another. All you can do is talk to him, let your message be heard, and hope that he loves you enough and respects your marriage enough to see he might be damaging things. Sometimes guys just need a rock to hit them, really! They just sometimes don't "think" the way we do...

Answer 6

Oh, thats the same thing I do with the wife. It's a problem because, he finds the game more interesting than you now. I hate to break it to you but I used to do that because my married life is already boring.

The best thing I could say is walk in your bedroom with your sexiest outfit and spray your best perfume. Also do some outdoor quality time with him. Take him away from the keyboard.

I would have liked that from my wife before..

Answer 7

You need to pull him away from that thing now, before it destroys your marriage. A few games every night is one thing. When he is ignoring his family life, he is addicted. He has just traded one bad habit for another! Get him to quit, even if you have to threaten him with divorce, because that is the next step if he continues. I sure hope you don't have children. They need the attention of both parents.

Answer 8

1

Answer 9

ok my husband plays online games too., but before he did that he help me first in house works and other else.
i think it's ok to let him play specially he just play recently, isn't it?
but if it's too much like he doesn't speak with you anymore, eat dinner with you, etc...
you have to speak with him.

Answer 10

Do you show interest in the things ha does?
Once you do it, you can start making your move to have more intimacy with him. Just be more close to him.