Am I overreacted? Wanted Men's Opinions...Women are also welcomed!?

Question

If ur bf bought his ex a lot of gifts while they were together but u did't get a lot of gift from him. Do u think he loved his ex more than u? Even though he earns more $$ than the past (in addition, he's not saving for any big purchases, no debt & having a very good & stable job). Why is he being so stingy to me but spent more $$ on his ex? I know it's really bad to measure love in gifts. But what I thought was if a man's being generous to you, that means he loves you & he doesn't mind to share his fortune with you. From this point, I didn't think he wanted a long term relationship with me or love me as much as his ex. Am I overreacted?

Answer 1

Maybe she made a point of asking if not begging for things. Some women have no shame they get what they can out of a guy & then move on, he was probably burned by her & now thinks well I won't make that mistake again. I gave her everything she wanted & still she left me, & if this one can't love me for me & not for what I give her, then I don't need her.Try to understand, he has already been used once & he probably doesn't want to be used again. Also is he perhaps working more to earn more money, he may not even feel like shopping. I don't know exactly what happened, but it sounds like she burned him bad. Try not to let it hurt you, & try to find out without being mean or yelling why he is this way & let him know how it hurts you. You two really need to have a heart to heart chat if you can't say it write it down, but don't be mean or hateful, that won't be helpful.

Answer 2

Overreacting. Maybe he finally thought that spending too much money on someone isn't equal love (not to mention a total waste of money). Don't overlook what he's giving to you that is in a different form other than presents because certain things cannot be bought by money. You shouldn't be paying attention to what he had in the past. Do not compare your relationship to other relationships he had. If he still has concerns about his past relationship, there's not much you can do about it so there's no point in worrying.. Anyway, all I can say is, you have nothing to worry about. I hope you all the best!

Answer 3

There can be a lot of reasons for this, maybe you guys go out more so he has less to spend, or if the relationship is going really well maybe he's saving for a big item (ring) but doesn't want you to know. Of coarse most guys also aren't near as material as women (if you dispute this fact just go look at his closet and compare how many clothes he has to yours), so maybe he is giving you smaller gifts that took longer to find. Either way, don't sweat it, you might mention you like a couple of things you see the next time you're at the mall to give him ideas. Whatever you do, don't nag and complain, it'll possibly make the situation better for you for a short while but much worse in the long run.

Answer 4

First of all, have you asked him why he bought her more gifts than you? Second, are you a materialistic person? He probably thinks those things don't mean much to you. I myself find that I prefer a flower or a hug, kiss, a sign of appreciation than any gift. I am not a materialistic person, we can only enjoy things in this life, we can not take them with us when we leave this life. So why should it matter whom got more than the other. As long as you got love, that' s more than any gift in the world can ever buy. Enjoy what you have now, which is him. Overreacted? You betcha!

Answer 5

aw, no ur not---there's always a difference between relationships---that other one meant crap, apparently, now that they're the "EX". He cares for YOU now-- the other chick might have demanded a lot out of him, was possessive, hard to please, so he made a huge effort..but it failed, and you won! Your guy might simply just find that you're much more at ease--and perhaps he has a hard time finding the right gift for his girl, because he thinks he can't choose good enough for someone so great to him. If ya want, perhaps you can start hinting him more on what gets ur eye :)

Answer 6

Maybe he is just frugal. Does he spend a lot of money on other things, and other people? If he does, he probably doesn't care as much for you as you do for him. If he doesn't, some people just don't share their money. Either accept it, quit buying him gifts, or leave him. Better make a decision before you get too involved. You don't want to waste you life on someone that makes you miserable.

Answer 7

If he spent money on his ex, but the relationship ended badly, then what lesson did he learn?

You should be much more concerned with whether he treats you with respect as a person. Perhaps he has realized that he should be more wise with his finances.

Remember, what a man buys for you is a poor indication of how much money he has. However, it is a precise indication of how much money he doesn't have.

Answer 8

Men are so mysterious in women's point of view, they opt to keep what they're feeling than laying it in the table. He must be saving the best for you, give him time. Try talking to him, do not keep it to yourself because women are so impulsive, the more you think about it, the more you would feel bad about it.

Answer 9

No, you are just feeling normal. Well, as you know he learned his lesson from his previous affair, that its a waste of money to give so much, when he don't even sure what to expect.
So, don't try to compare yourself from his ex. Just be kind to him, and you will see more will come to you.

Answer 10

hes not being cheap///hes matured and doesn't want to play the lovely dopey games the second time around...if you want gifts...make subtle hints that you like this or that...if he tells you to get stuffed then he means it! and why do you require all these gift anyways?