I am dating a very sweet 45 year old man, he is both my best friend and my boyfriend, I am 25 years old. He was previously married when he was in his late 20's/30's, but he has been divorced for 10 years. I really do want to get married at some point because I am young, and if I stay with him I would like to get married to him. I don't really want a lot of kids, I just would like to get married at some point. The age difference is absolutely no problem, I won't date guys under 35.
2007-04-05 18:50:41 · 12 answers · asked by Rose 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yeah, what 45 year old man wouldn't love to be married to a 25 year old?
2007-04-05 18:58:29 · answer #1 · answered by Rose 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, I realize ahead of time you won't want to read this but hey...you asked. The age difference is a problem. Maybe not something thats obvious to you but it is a problem. Why you say?...Glad you asked. First off on the surface I can sort of see why you don't think its a problem. You guys seem to gel, the sex is probably great etc. But oh my god, there is so much more to consider. A guy that is 45 is in another place in his life than you are. Its just that simple. He may not want kids and if he does it is a good shot he doesn't realize it but he may regret it down the road. Do you want that possibility? Women your age are in a different mode of thinking than someone who is 45. You need to remember that much of the things you are experiencing in life or are looking forward to, are things that he has already gone thru and in many respects they are things he very well may not want to revisit because he is now in a different place and mind set in his life. He seems fine now but thats becuase he get to live a 45 year old man's dream which is to have sex with a young woman. But what about all the important things that will come up later after you both say " I do". Now, where is your head and..... where is his. Hey...I am not saying it won't work but I am saying that you need to know that you are rolling the dice because in the long run there is much about the age difference that will rear it ugly head down the road.....Tread very carefully and I do wish you well.
2007-04-06 02:09:41 · answer #2 · answered by chcman74 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe but if he ever thinks about marriage again you should give him some time to think about it because otherwise he might feel pressured same with a baby when the time is right that you want a baby you guys need to discuss it and let him know you are not pressuring him. I know all of this because i am married to a man 16 years older than me. I didn't pressure him to get married but i pressured him about having a baby and i wasn't even trying to pressure him i just said how i felt but he felt pressured for it because he wasn't sure if he was ready to have a 4th kid. Age differences are not a bad thing but it can be a problem if you end up giving up what you want out of life for that person because im sure it would just cause resentment within enough time.
2007-04-06 02:02:39 · answer #3 · answered by Momof1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is telling you that he won't, don't expect things to change. I stayed around for 12 years waiting on mine. When I finally decided to give him an ultimatum--well let's put it this way, I am now alone and dating again after he wasted 12 years of my life!! I sure hope that you make a wiser decision than I did.
2007-04-06 01:58:13 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he said he wants to ever marry again? How long have you been dateing? You really don't give much info here to answer your question. How would we know if he will ever want to get married again? When we don't even know him and you tell us very little about your relationship. Has he given you any indication that he doesn't want to marry?
2007-04-06 02:03:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think this deserves a talk...but how long have you been with him.??? more than 3 yrs? if it is... then the talk may need to happen. some men who have previously been divorced have apprehensions about saying "i do' again, especially if they aren't dead on about the fact that they DO want to go in that direction once more. i wouldn't press the issue but if it's 3 yrs and you are full on committed to him and have NO,NO,NO ideas in your head of cheating, then go for it, other wize i would leave it alone.
2007-04-06 01:58:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to get married you better talk it over with him. Don't wait 5 years and wonder why.
2007-04-06 02:06:31 · answer #7 · answered by m k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rose, he said what he said and he made up his mind. Do you expect it to be different?? He isn't going to marry you--case closed. If that isn't clear enough---HE SAID NO--got it??
Am I wrong?? Did you even talk about it?? What did he say?? How can anyone answer?? You don't give the all important info here. Oh well--good luck
2007-04-06 01:58:23 · answer #8 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Don't invest more than 2 - 3 yrs. in a relationship without marriage....Don't have kids out of wedlock..
Get a good Pre-Nup...
2007-04-06 01:55:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, who should you be asking??? D'uh!
Sit him down and tell him you want to know where the relationship is going. Make sure he knows that you see marriage in your future, and ask him to tell you honestly if that's a plan he wants to be part of.
2007-04-06 01:55:14 · answer #10 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋