We have been on again off again for the past year. I'm 22 and he's 35. Love him sooo much, we just seem to have little fights and i break down and cry cause im not that strong. Ive broken up with him and hes broken up with me. This time its really over though cause he said he isnt ready to be in a relationship and he says im not either. But i am ready i want to be with him, i want to make him happy and ive told him all this. I wanna be with him, but he isnt ready. I couldnt take it anymore. It was so frustrating being with him, loving him, and wanting to be with him, knowing he didnt feel the same. I had to say goodbye even though i love him more than anything. i miss him so much. i dont know what to do anymore..... i feel like just going under my covers and staying there....
2007-04-05 18:42:52 · 9 answers · asked by Jimmy G 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Oh, I'm so sorry... ::hugs:: The sad truth is, commitment-phobes are out there, and they come in all shapes and sizes. I know lots of same-sex couples who are happy being in a monogamous relationship for the rest of their lives.
I've broken up with my ex dozens of times (and vice versa), and wasn't able to let go until he just stopped talking to me. He was a commitment-phobe, too. I'm in a much better relationship, now, and though I've been through a lot of previous emotional pain, my new boyfriend is helping me through it. You'll find someone who values you, too, and how much you love them. It'll work out, because you deserve it. :)
2007-04-05 18:48:58 · answer #1 · answered by autumnstarsong 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unrequited love isn't a relationship, it's better for you to have ended this because you aren't getting what you want from the relationship.
are you really sure you are really in love? true love occurs between two people over time and involves more than just sex and infatuation. it occurs when two people let down their guard and expose their true self beyond the facade they present to the world. you share dreams, take an interest in each other hobbies and interests. you allow them to see you at your worst and they help you be your best. it takes honesty, compromise, negotiation, communication, shared values, and a common goal of where you want the relationship to go to make it work
I know you don't think you are young, but you have a whole lot of living ahead of you and most likely this won't be the last time your heart gets broken. learn from this experience, don't make the same mistakes in your next relationship, you'll make new ones..
do you really love him? or do you just love the idea of being in a relationship? until you are comfortable with yourself (you said you aren't strong) you can't expect someone else to be comfortable with you.
there aren't any guarentees in any relationship gay or otherwise. relationships work when both people involved are committed to making it work. there are highs and lows, but if you have the desire to work through your problems together, your relationship will strenghten as time goes by
2007-04-05 19:07:07 · answer #2 · answered by cooper 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about that :-( When you get over him and look for another bf, remember to tell him that you are for a serious, dedicated relationships. Some guys are just fooling around or testing the water out. Why do you two constantly have little fights? Are they worth fighting over and do you two ever try to work these fights out? Unfortunately, since he doesn't feel the same way as you do, you'll have to let him go and find another guy. Good luck.
2007-04-05 18:49:43 · answer #3 · answered by Ethan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gay relationships can work out. You're only 22, don't worry yet but if you love him tell him and commit to him. Many gay men just play and play and play and never stop. They say I want a relationship but they don't. Some gay couples are in an open relationship and in all honesty, I think that makes sense for many people. Love is much deeper than sex.
2007-04-06 05:45:14 · answer #4 · answered by mcgov20 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break ups are hard but not the "end of the world" believe me. And yes gay relationships can and do work. My Mama Jo has been with Mama Kate for going on 10 years now and they are as happy and connected as the day they met. You'll find someone who deserves you. He could be right around the corner. *hugs*
2007-04-05 20:03:21 · answer #5 · answered by Logan and Ella's Mommy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll be okay. Love hurts. My gay relationships worked for the most part..The first one of 7 years --he walked out and broke my heart...then I met my husband(I'm canadian) and we've been together for 20 years.....so it is possible. Just take a little time to heal ...be kind to yourself.
2007-04-05 19:06:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear that :(. They can and do work out. The important thing is to try your best to learn from your mistakes (and the things that you did well!) and the mistakes and examples of other people and take that with you into your next relationship.
Best wishes,
2007-04-05 18:59:16 · answer #7 · answered by Gene M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, I really wish that I had the answers for you. But to answer your initial question, yes, I think they do work out. My uncle and his partner have been together for the better part of 15 years.
2007-04-05 18:50:02 · answer #8 · answered by Becca 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have set up a father/son dynamic. A son searches for APPROVAL and LOVE from his father.
You want a boyfriend that is EQUAL to you - not an AUTHORITY FIGURE.
Get a boyfriend your own age.
2007-04-05 18:55:03 · answer #9 · answered by Gay Man 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋