wait to miscarry or have D&C? what would you do?

Question

i'm 9 weeks, and carrying twins.....i had two scans, and the babies arent forming right.....the dr said, i could either miscarry on my own, or have the D&C. its a hard time right now, and i'm having a hard time deciding what to do. i go for tests on monday, then after that i have to decide what to do. i never expected anything like this to happen, and i was very excited when i found out i was pregnant. i just dont know what to do...any women who have been through this? please help...

if i miscarry or have the D&C, is it likley that i will become pregnant with twins again? i waited almost a year to get pregnant again, and was praying for twins.....i'm a twin myself, and twins run on my mothers side of the family.....i know its possible to get pregnant again, but is it possible to have another set of twins?

Answer 1

I went through a miscarriage two years ago, I had to wait to miscarry and honestly I wish I could of just got a D&C. It made it so much harder waiting rather then just getting it over with. Because waiting could take up to a month. Its just a very uncomfortable and emotional feeling sitting there waiting. Especially because I kept getting my hopes up that I wouldn't miscarry and that everything would be ok. Or hope that the Dr.'s could do something about it. In reality it was going to happen regardless of my hopes and the Dr.'s couldn't help.

I am very sorry for your loss and wish you the best! Just keep trying!

Answer 2

I am so sorry for your losses. I did go through the same thing with a single baby and I was 9-10 weeks along also. There was no heartbeat when they did the ultrasound and they gave me the same choice. I chose to wait and miscarry on my own. My reasoning was it was more natural. I did not want to risk an invasive procedure that may or may not cause scarring on the uterus. The D & C they do now is supposed to minimize any chance of scarring though. This is a very hard choice, if it were me I suppose I would choose to wait again, but that is very hard too. You don't want the miscairrage to happen, but then maybe you will get closure quicker if you get the D & C. I wish there was more that I could say to help you to feel better during this time, but unfortunately there is not much anyone else can say at this time to make you feel better. My heart does go out to you. Good luck.

Answer 3

You could have twins again. I understand why you ask. Because you are confused and you are very scared not to be able to have twins again. You may also be blessed with one child next time.

I have 3 healthy boys. I have been pregnant 7 confirmed times. I have had both natural and D&C done. One that ended up a D&C a week after I thought I had completed a misscariage. (Was a emergency D&C.)

If i had a choice each time I would of choosen the D&C. The pain was so much less emotionally to. I did not have to wait.
Either way this is a hard time. I hope you have a good support system.
Be true to yourself and your husband and talk things out as they come up. It could be years and it can hurt again. Keep the option open to have a close conversation with you husband. With you both knowing the pain can come back the easier it is to listen to the others needs later.

God Bless.

Answer 4

I am sorry that you are going through this, it's a very tough thing. The main question for me would be whether or not I was healthy enough to wait for a miscarriage and whether a miscarriage is certain to happen or not. Sometimes a miscarriage doesn't occur and the tissue has to be removed with a D&C so that the Woman doesn't become ill.

I would ask my doctor what they suggest and take their opinions under advisement along with my own beliefs and my partner's opinions. The main thing is to make sure that you remain in the best health possible. If you can do that while waiting for the miscarriage and your doctor thinks it's a safe option, you may be able to wait it out. If it's not safe for you to do it, then I would go ahead and schedule the D&C after the test results come back.

I'm so sorry and I know this is a very hard time for you. Best of luck and health.
Peace,
Jenn

Answer 5

I would not have a d@c. I would wait and see how the babies do on their own. If you have a d@c you may never have a piece of mind to know what would of happened naturally. Maybe things will change around for the better and the babies will grow normally...doctors can only speculate what they think will happen. It is in Gods hands so wait and see what happens naturally. When I was pregnant I had very heavy bleeding and when I called the doctor they scheduled me for a D@C. I was devastated and my pregnancy continued and now my daughter is 18 months and healthy. You just never know. Pray hard..prayer works and if you do naturally miscarry be strong and try again. Alot of people miscarry and go on to have healthy pregnancies.

Answer 6

This is far too important to leave to chance. The malformation may be very severe, and it may not end very well. Talk to your doc. I would want you to have to suffer a still birth. Either way, both are very traumatizing and hard on the body and the soul. I 've been through both. Make sure that you have a strong support system around you. Maybe get a professional to talk to.
The way you look at the world around you and even yourself might change. It took me 6 months of anti depressants to be able to pass a baby Gap. And to shake the numb feeling away. Hold on to hope, even if it seems crazy. You may have another chance( to have a baby)
Whatever you decide, I hope the pain doesn't last and joy will return to your life

Answer 7

I have a similar situation as yours. I was 8 wks pregnant and found out the baby had no heartbeat. Dr. said the same thing to me. wait and micarried on my own or D&C. My husband and I felt that if the baby was not forming normal than we shouldn't try to bring the baby in this world. Everyone's opinion is different when it comes to this. You shall talk to your love one and decide what you want to do. I decide to Do the D&C and got it over with. I didn't regret getting it done. I am pregnant again and now 19 wks. I know you will have a healthy baby one day as well...Best wishes to you.

Answer 8

I agree with the first person. Just keep the babies. The doctor COULD be wrong. You should just wait it out. It's very hard to tell at 9 weeks if they aren't forming right, ebsides they should be smaller than normal, they are twins. So good luck on what ever you choose.

Answer 9

I am a mother of two special needs sons. Even if I knew ahead of time that my boys weren't "perfect" I would never ever think of doing a D&C. My boys are very precious little ones and I cherish every moment I have with them and thank God every day that he lets me keep them. They may cause me to feel unworthy and stress out about whether I am caring for them as they deserve, but deep down inside I know that I am special because I was chosen to have these two very special boys. I am appalled at the women who would think of getting rid of a baby because it is not "perfect". Please read the poem below. I hope it touches your heart the way it still touches mine.

Heaven's Very Special Child

A meeting was held quite far from earth,
"It's time for another birth,"
Said the Angels to the Lord above,
This special child will need much love.

It's progress may seem very slow,
Accomplishments it may not show,
And it'll require extra care
From the folks it meets way down there.

So let's be careful where it's sent;
We want its life to be content;
Please Lord, find parents and teachers who
Will do a special job for you.

The will not realize right away
The leading role they're asked to play,
but with this child sent from above
Comes stronger faith and richer love.

And soon they'll know the privilege given
In caring for this gift from heaven;
Their precious charge, so meek and mild,
Is heaven's Very Special Child.

Author Unknown

Answer 10

Miscarriage is your body's natural way of dealing with issues as such. When your body is ready the miscarriage will happen and likely be fairly easy. Pushing your body into the miscarriage with a D&C could cause for a more difficult recovery. Really though, if you are ready for this to be over, a D&C may be the answer. If you are still clinging to any hope you might want to wait for your body to do its job.