I'm a Canadian who has been living in Hong Kong for several years. I've been seeing a former co-worker quite seriously for the last year. I'm very fond of her and she is crazy about me. The thing is that I recently quit my job and am starting to think that there is no future for me here, and that I should head back to Canada. I could stay here and find another job, but there is nothing very appealing right now. She would probably marry me and move to Canada if I asked her, but it would break her parents' hearts to have her living so far away. And I have a feeling that she would struggle with her career in Canada. What should I do about this relationship?
2007-04-05 18:04:21 · 10 answers · asked by Cliff H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Break it off and move back to Canada, it doesnt sound as if you truly, truly love her.
2007-04-05 18:07:47 · answer #1 · answered by Lauren J 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You mentioned "her" parents, but didn't mention your own ties. The question here lays between a job as opposed to happiness. Women are more emotional towards their families than men, and in light of your dilemma, YOUR happiness would also be greatly affected by taking on a wife whom you know, will evenually MISS her own, and expenses will increase as the years pass for you will have to provide for her to periodically visit her family. I have a nephew who married a girl from India about 5 years ago. (lives in America)Each and every year he has to take time off from work, make the expense and travel to India to take her there for a visit or "else" the marriage gets strained a bit. If you love her, you will have to accommodate her THERE with your presence and not in Canada. lest you can afford periodic expenses to have her visit her family from time to time. It all depends on how much Love both of you have for each other and what sacrifices you are willing to make.......
2007-04-05 18:18:40 · answer #2 · answered by Theban 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love each other you can overcome all of these problems. However, it is not enough to be "fond of" someone. Your feelings aren't strong enough to withstand the strain of marriage,a new job, her career change, her possible homesickness, etc. It's best to just move on. Stay in touch in case you change your mind.
2007-04-05 18:09:48 · answer #3 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is something that you and she will need to discuss in detail. No one can tell you if it will work. The two of you need to find a way if you love each other enough, or split if you don't! I hope you make the right decision!
2007-04-05 18:15:05 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should really include her in this decision. I am sure that she has her own thoughts and she may be willing to make the sacrifice. However, you said you were fond of her- not love her. If you don't love her then you don't need to marry her!
2007-04-05 18:13:30 · answer #5 · answered by Carrie T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Lauren. It doesn't sound like true love on your side. Let her go and move to Canada.
2007-04-05 18:09:04 · answer #6 · answered by Lana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know the answer to this one ,so come back to Canada.
2007-04-06 06:34:45 · answer #7 · answered by Miz Val 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say fond. Fond doesn't sound like love. If you don't love her, don't think you can love her...then maybe you should think about letting her find someone who does love her.
2007-04-05 18:10:57 · answer #8 · answered by traceylenore 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know. Love is love. go figure it out for yourself. this is a very complex problem. If you dont know what to do then do nothing. Take it slow...dont make any rash choices look before you leap...remember take it slow.
2007-04-05 18:12:55 · answer #9 · answered by stephanie e 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not talk to her?????
2007-04-05 18:09:13 · answer #10 · answered by ms_debbieg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋