I married at 17, had our first child at 18 and just had our second four months ago at 21. Lately I've been feeling like I've missed out on a lot of things that normally someone my age would do. I love my husband, we've been married for four years, and obviously I love my children more than anything but can anyone tell me if I've missed out on anything special?
2007-04-05 17:22:32 · 19 answers · asked by Violet 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I couldn't possibly choose a favorite. Most of you (all but 1 that i've read)made me feel so much better. Thank you so much, you are all so right.
2007-04-07 17:58:26 · update #1
I DONT THINK THAT YOU REALLY DID.
IT WAS YOUR CHOICE TO DO WHAT YOU DID.
YOU SHOULD NEVER REGRET SOMETHING THAT ONCE MADE YOU SMILE.
2007-04-05 17:26:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Barracks life. Parties that last 3 days. Getting piss drunk and waking up with a man you don't know his name, and then doing the same thing next weekend. Staying up late at a Denny's cramming for an exam. Coming and going as you please. No responsibilities. Clubbing, and wearing dresses that make prostitutes blush with shame. Playing the does he like me game. (if I smile maybe he'll come over and say hi) Break up after break up of various BFs. Wondering what is wrong with you, and why can't you find a long term BF. Getting drugged and date raped.
Okay that was my youth between the ages of 18-21. Do you think you are missing anything? Really what you are missing is the ability to come and go as you please. You are also feeling the weight of responsibility that motherhood brings.
Really you skipped right over the crap of youth, and went right into the good stuff. All I wanted when I was that age was the stability of family and a loving husband. That's why I pulled myself together and found a good man at 22 and got married. I have NEVER looked back. You aren't missing a damn thing.
2007-04-06 00:37:48 · answer #2 · answered by Poppet 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yeah! I met my ex-husband when I was 16 and we married when I turned 18. We had a lot of problems and I finally left him when I was 27. While I had been married, my friends were going to college, starting their careers, dating, traveling, going to parties and having fun. By the time I got divorced, they had started settling down and getting married. So when I finally had a chance to do all the things I should have been doing when I was younger, there was no one to do them with! It was pretty sad. Now, it's 20 years later and even though I'm remarried to a great guy and have a life I never dreamed possible, I still have regrets about those years and some of the things I missed out on.
2007-04-06 00:34:05 · answer #3 · answered by Emily Dew 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No not missing out at all. I didn't have kids til I was 27. Sure I had some fun those years but here's the kicker. Now, at 39, I'm still hiring a babysitter to go out. You on the other hand, will be my age and your kids will most likely be out of the house! If you feel like you've missed something, don't worry, you'll get the chance again. Late 30's is early enough to take your new freedom and run with it! ( I still feel 25...woohoo) Enjoy your kids, be thankful for your life. There are advantages to being a mother at any age, take your situation and do the best with it. You will be young enough to point and laugh at me while I'm going to my youngest kids football games, on my walker! lol
2007-04-06 00:38:47 · answer #4 · answered by oracleofohio 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No way. I would have loved to have gotten married that young. Just think when you're just 36 you're going to start losing each of the kids to college and I've heard what happens to women around 35 or 36.......I think you and your husband are going to have a goood time.
I don't think you've missed out on anything. You will have enough energy to keep up with your kids as they get older. They are the real blessing in life. Don't look back, look at them and look forward to the wonder life that you and your family will have together.
2007-04-06 00:53:36 · answer #5 · answered by bigdaddy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, a little. Just think, though, your children will be grown, and you will still be young enough to enjoy your life. The big plus is that you will have matured enough to know so much more about how to enjoy it!! (You probably know that old saying "I wish I knew then, what I know now. I'd have made better choices") Your children will be grown and you will know what you really want to experience in life!!
Just a bit of advice, when your children start school, you might want to take a few courses at the local college, just to improve you education for those long trips and cruises you will want to take!! Have fun!
2007-04-06 00:32:31 · answer #6 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The only source of real happiness in life is family. Other things are fun but fun is not the same as happiness. Most people your age are wasting their time. Let a little deprivation motivate you to set worthwhile goals and accomplish them. You can have a family and have fun if you plan. As for things you are missing out on. Most of what you can't do because of family one shouldn't do anyway so think of it as a helpful barrier to self-destructive behavior.
2007-04-06 00:33:38 · answer #7 · answered by halfway 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Missed out on anything special? That is really a matter of opinion. Honestly, when you get right down to it, you are going to have something that the rest of us will miss out on. You are going to be around for the vast majority of your children's lives, and that is a very special thing to have. You can be beside them every step of the way. They're going to grow up, and you'll still be young enough to do anything else that you may be dreaming of. Maybe you can do those things with your children beside you.
You have a family you love, and that is really the most important thing, isn't it? I think that we are the one's missing out on something special.
2007-04-06 00:34:41 · answer #8 · answered by Vix'thra 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can't and I'm sure you would not want to undo what's been done. I married after I graduated from college so I had an active single life to look back on with the many friends I made then. If you love your husband and your children you are ahead of the game....enjoy it...............
2007-04-06 00:32:06 · answer #9 · answered by Laura 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You might have missed out on your teenage life i suppose as getting tied down early has its ups and downs.Nevertheless you re never too old to refresh up.Try getting some outdoor activites with your husband and kids.NOTHING WILL be missed if you have accepted for what has happened which is your marriage as a life term commitment!
2007-04-06 00:29:11 · answer #10 · answered by cool_honeybabe 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Of course you have. But you have made your choices and need to live with them now. Two kids later, it's way too late for regrets. If your marriage is a happy one and your husband is not mistreating you in any way, stop dreaming about what could have been and focus on your family.
2007-04-06 00:27:22 · answer #11 · answered by Liz 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋