I've been with my hunny for 6 years, married to him for 16 months. I'm almost 21 and I cheated on him twice before we got married (I was 15 and 16 at the time, young and dumb) we fought for a long time but he didn't leave me, and after a while he forgave me. We were supposed to get married 4 months before we actually did because I got cold feet and left him. I met another guy (who'd gotten out of prison 3 days earlier) and we hooked up for a few weeks. I broke up with him because he started holding people up at gun point, and got back together with my man. I realized what I was missing. I know I messed up before, and I'm not the same person I was.He claims to have forgiven me but rubs my face in my mistakes every chance he gets. It's even affected our sex life,meaning he doesn't want any. I know I hurt him but do I deserve to be punished for the rest of my life? I'm only saying anything because this neglect has made me think about other men, who could treat me better.
2007-04-05 16:33:42 · 14 answers · asked by garcia_lives86 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't want to hurt anyone, and I want to be good, but I want to be happy too. If he hadn't forgiven me, was it right for him to pretend he did and the marry me? He breaks my heart every day with the way he treats me like a slave, like I owe him everything. I know I've changed, and I would never act on my fantasies, but now I'm scared he'll act on his. I suppose I would deserve it, but we're going to Las Vegas in a week and I'm sooo scared something is going to happen while we're there.
2007-04-05 16:38:14 · update #1
I know you are hurting and want to do what is right, but you have put your man through a lot, and he has forgiven you more than any other man would have in his shoes. I feel to save your marriage, you need to start working for him to fully forgive you. He is deeply wounded by your cheating to the point that he finds it hard to even has sex with you. Look at your man with compassion, go to him and be a friend he can trust, think of what he is lacking as far as love from you, start from here to open up his heart to you again. You need to stop looking towards other men as a solution to your problems. Instead look within. what you need is love and understanding, right? What your husband needs is love and understanding also, right? Work on getting this back and you will be doing the right thing for the both of you. Best of luck to you.
2007-04-05 22:01:32 · answer #1 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are obviously way too immature to be married or even thinking about it. I'm not trying to be mean by that, it's just reality. You need to leave the guys alone for a while, break out on your own and build your own life. Get an education. Learn how to support yourself and reach goals. Maybe by the time you're 30 you'll be able to handle a marriage.
If you don't do this? I promise you will jump from man to man, probably add children to the mix and have a really miserable life.
You are worth more than the life you're living, go live it!
Good luck :)
2007-04-05 23:41:11 · answer #2 · answered by oracleofohio 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you need to either decide to seriously change for good, 100% and be a good wife and do everything you can to mend the problems you and your hubby are having (even if it requires marriage counseling) or you need to leave him. half way (like it sounds like you are now) is going to wind up destroying your marriage that is already on thin ice. do you want to be a woman and be responsible and take your vows seriously or do you still need more time to be a girl and see what else is out there (besides just-released felons)? you need to sit down and make this decision, talk to someone who knows you and who you can trust. and decide soon. and NO CHEATING! it is better just to leave than to cheat (as you have already found out.) good luck.
2007-04-05 23:44:41 · answer #3 · answered by mbleh 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No offense, but you are lucky that the only thing he is doing is rubbing your mistakes in your face. I don't believe you should be punished for the rest of your life, you are human and everyone makes mistakes. You need to stop and see the fact that you keep making the same one. If you love him, keep yourself for him and ONLY HIM!
2007-04-05 23:39:31 · answer #4 · answered by Barbara B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
honey yes you have made a few mistakes but no he shouldn't through it in your face. if he has forgiving you then he should let it go. i know from personal experience how hard it is to forgive but to never forget. but you must remind him that you are his wife and you demand respect as being his wife. also reassure him that you would never make that mistake again.
2007-04-05 23:50:27 · answer #5 · answered by you know 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do HIM a favor and leave. Then don't get married (or even think it) until you are at least 30! You're DEFINITELY not ready.
And you may want to re-think dating ex-cons. Just a thought!
2007-04-05 23:46:07 · answer #6 · answered by intheholycity 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Why not find out who YOU are and what you want to do with your life. PLEASE, do it NOW, before you become a mother!
Just because a man lets you down, is NO reason to seek another man to treat you better.
YOU need to treat YOU better!
2007-04-05 23:46:51 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your an idiot and your are selfish he should leave you. People like you dont belong in relationships u left this guy for a loser. Ever time things get tuff u run comon go be with yourslef i hope no one waste time on u again
2007-04-05 23:43:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hey Bonny I think you should take Clyde to Vegas with you I think you would have more fun .
2007-04-05 23:55:22 · answer #9 · answered by dad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your man is getting sex from someone else??
2007-04-05 23:50:19 · answer #10 · answered by Emily L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋