so many deaths. one person to deal with it. i just cant. please help?

Question

in the past year i have lost my mother and grandmother to breast cancer. my best friend in the whole world to a car crash. and my brother to war. i cant deal with it. i dont know what to do and we have no money to get me help. im about to do the extreme. i need some encouraging words. you alone could save wats left of my life. please. im not making this up and i could care less if you dont care. its like im all alone in this world and its not the best feeling. im only 13 and i think thats really young to b going throught what i am. i miss my mom the most. i could always talk to her. and now shes gone. you dont know what you have untill its gone. thats beyond the truth.

i dont need ne one feeling sorry for me. that not the purpose. i need encourgement. that would really help. and right now yahoo is the only person i can turn to for advice. isnt that sad.

Answer 1

Aww sweety! Here's a big hug from a momma that cares about all children. My heart goes out to you. I know right now you are so burdoned by all the death. No one knows why bad things happen to good people or why death chooses ones that are still needed here on earth. But there is one thing I am sure of. Whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Also we learn from every momment, every heart ache, every loss. We learn how to be a better more caring person if we realize that everything has an opportunity for learning. Some day you may decide that your life goal is to become a doctor or scientist to find a cure for breast cancer. Or maybe you will become a military nurse and save lives of young men and women. Maybe a grief counselor.
You are special and have a special purpose. Wouldn't it be sad if you ended your life and never realize your potential to help others? Wouldn't be nice to eaze the suffering of others?
I was raped when I was 15, was abused physically for 5 yrs by my first husband, my child was then molested by our 15 yr old babysitter. I used all that hurt and suffering to give me strength to realize something very important. Who better to serve the people suffering from abuse than a person who has lived it?
When I was 16 I tried to kill myself. I took an entire bottle of pain killers because every day at school I had to pass my rapist in the hallway. My mom found me, I had lost my bodily fluids in my bed, I had tried to sit up when I puked but I threw up all over my hair. My mom asked WHY?!? WHY?!? repeatedly while they waited for the ambulance. But all I could do was stair at the ceiling willing my brain to make my lips move and the words to come out "I'm
sorry ." But I could not even do that. When I got to the hospital they pumped my stomach. I remember seeing the tunnel and my grandma telling me to go back cause I had stuff I still needed to do.
The next day when I came to,I had so many people asking me what my mom asked me. "Why?" It hurt that I could not tell them the reason. I felt so ashamed that I had hurt them all. If you could have seen the hurt I caused them you would not even think of ending your life. I can not express that feeling to you. If you do kill yourself will you pass thru a tunnel and what would your momma say hunny? Would she ask you "why?" And what would you tell someone that is dead that probably
wishes they could feel the earth on their feet and the sun on their hair? What would your mother want of you? I think she would want you to live and be happy. To finish on earth the things you are meant to.
Lisa


Aditional info: I forgot, go talk to your school councilor. Ask her to refer you to a free therapist. Some of them do it free for charity purposes. Also tell your dad you need help. maybe he can find a way for you. When I almost lost my dad I got an anti dpressant. It helped me through it.

Answer 2

Ah, I see..well everybody undergo this type of things. I am 15 and I experience this kind of thing past few yrs. Never mind my history. Be happy with wt u have right now..I suggest u to buy a pet such as cat or dog bez they will be comforting u in ur needs! Pets take a lot in owner life, so yeah. Also church sho do some help in too ask the peacher for some advice. Do u have any friends that u will turn to, then just do that paln a sleepover to cheer ur spirits!!! or something! Be happy knowing that ur relationships with some people will not go to waste!

Answer 3

Just stay strong. Things will get better than you would have ever thought possible. Nobody is ever given more than they can handle. It sounds like your mom, grandma and brother were strong and brave people. Use them as an example of how to live. I know losing your best friend is hard, but you need remember one thing; That which does not kill us only makes us stronger. Live your life to be the living legacy of everybody you lost. Let the world know how great they were.
Hang in there. Wounds have to heal and scars have to fade, but life will eventually go on. Give yourself time, but stay strong for them.

There are groups, like at a church or a YMCA, you can visit with people who have experienced these kind of things and help you get through it.

Answer 4

I cant say I completely know how you feel because I dont. I lost both my parents in a car wreck. I now live with my grandpa. Right now probably the last thing you want to hear from a stranger is how sorry they are for your loss. I know I was there. Youre probably thinking how could they POSSIBLY understand?

Well its not much but all I can say is I will definitely keep you in my prayers. But dont do anything rash because somewhere out there even though it may not seem like it right now, someone cares for you and loves you, would you really want them to have tp go through all the pain you're going through right now? Its not much but like I said I will pray for you. God Bless

Answer 5

Many people fear or avoid death because we don't know what happens after we're gone, but it is just as much as a part of life as living. It is the cycle that all living things take a part of. It is good that you care so much for him and want to support him, let him know that the thought of death or dying makes you uncomfortable but you still love him very much and understand the loss he is going through. I also recomend you read the following book, it should help you some with your fears: Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom I hope all goes well for both you and your partner

Answer 6

everything happen to us have reasons!
just be strong and dont lose hope!
at the end of the dark tunnel there you'll find light, the light that will last forever and remember to talk to God. He is the only one who could help you. Try to talk Him or send Him a letter ( you'll never know, He might reply )

And remember this!

Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow.

If you can make it one more time than you fall you will make it through.

I have found the paradox that If i love until it hurts, then there is no hurt but only more love.

Come what may, time and the hour run through the roughest day.

Peace of mind is attained not by ignoring problems, but by solving them.

Begin with the end in mind.









and... MAY THIS DAY BE ESPECIALLY BEAUTIFUL FOR YOU!

Answer 7

I am so sorry to hear of all your losses. But we need to find the positive in all this, and some where there is some positive things to build on. you are way too precious to do anything extreme. You still have ppl who love you, and they too are probably feeling the same way you are right now. And you know that your mother would not want to see you harm yourself, she still loves you even though she is not physically with you. Does you father not have insurance on you that would cover a pshchiaratcist, I personally think that you need an antidepressent, you can go to your reg. Dr. and he/she can prescribe you an antidepressent. You can also talk to your counselor at school, he or she may have a list of outreach programs or something that do not charge, or a list of therapist who may be willing to help you and not charge.

You have a long life ahead of you, think of all the great things that you can accomplish, you can be an advocate for breast cancer awareness, this would help you honor you mother. Your mother has great hopes and dreams for you.....remember those. she wants you to fulfill your life and take care of yourself. You are a very special person, and the reason I know this is because you are reaching out for help. I know things seem really hopeless now, but they are not...this is part of the grieving process that everone goes through when we loose some very special ppl that we love a great deal. This may be an idea to consider, you said that you have no money for you to see a therapist, I bet that there are many youg ladies just like you, who do not have money to seek treatment, so why not finish school, go to college, and become a therapist yourself, and you can pass your name along to all the local schoolc in your area, to help young girls like yourself right now, deal with the losses they encounter in their life, and you can do it free, because you know what it is like to want help but don't have the funds to get it. Please see your counselor at school, and see if they know of anyone that can you can talk to free.....maybe the couselor knows someone, or at least he/she may be able to send an email out to some of the therapist in the area, and hopefully someone will come forward. HUGS to you. Your mother still loves you and she is keeping and eye on you, watching all that you do.

Answer 8

This might sound very hard to accept: but your love ones are not dead. You don't see them, but they will always be w/ you. You will see them again, soon, not now. Life on earth is just a part of life, we have to lose our physical bodies in order to get to where thay're at. I lost my father last year, and it was very hard at first. But I realized, one day I'll see him again. I just think of it as if my father borded a plane to take a long vacation and I'm just waiting for my turn to follow him, not now, but definitely one day. If you can, please read the book "COMMUNION w/ GOD" by Neale Donald Walsh. This is not a religious book, this book helped me deal w/ my lost. Your love ones will always be with you, specially your mother, she wouldn't wanna see you suffer in pains like this. So make her proud, be strong. You're still very young but very brave, you prove it by just looking for some advice here. Your mother, your brother, and your best friend are always gonna be there on your side, watching over you. If you dream about them, it wasn't just a dream, they're actually there. You cannot see them physically because they're actually in a different world. It's okay to cry and be sad, but you have to be real strong now. Instead of remembering them when they passed, try to remember the happy times that you spent w/ them.

Answer 9

your right- you've had a bloody horrible time. but the fact that you know your in trouble and need help is the first step to saving your own life, if thats what your hinting at.

you absolutely need to talk to a counsellor, someone who you can talk to and who can support you and help give you strategies to cope with all that loss in your life. I dont know where in the world you are... US, UK, Australia or somewhere else???.....so its hard to know what options are available to you. i have no idea about the US, but in the UK or Australia there are phone numbers you can call like 'kids help line', or 'lifeline' and they have trained counsellors who can talk with you anonymously and tell you where else to go for help.

maybe you have a relative, grandma, aunt, or the mother or father of a close friend? someone who can help you find professional help. or ask at school, maybe theres a school counsellor or your family doctor? if you really have no idea, just call your local hospital and tell them that you need some help, and can they tell you who to call.

its totally normal for you to feel as bad as you do- people teling you to just 'believe in yourself' or 'turn to god' may have good intentions........but it is totally naive of anyone to think you can possibly cope with this kind of trauma on your own. you are still very young and you simply wont have adequate coping skills to deal with all this loss on your own- it would be difficult for me to cope and im 32.

You have to try and get some professional help, dont be afraid. please dont give up until you feel you have the help you need- your life is precious.

Answer 10

Do I think this is sad? No! My brother is in Iraq, the other one shot himself, my dad survived lung cancer and my best friends on yahoo are like you(except we're older). You've answered a lot of your own questions, you're too young for this, but there's no good age to endure all that. And what's left of your life is worth quite a lot. Being a man, I can't say what I need to, like your mother. For that, I'm sorry.