My husband of 6 months admits he's seeing someone on the side (they're not having sex because she doesn't put out, period, since having three kids), and he knows it hurts me. He says he doesn't want to end it with her because he doesn't want to hurt her, and I could ALMOST respect that, except he won't answer the phone if I call, can't stand to be close to me, anything. Yesterday I set up my webcam and watched what was going on between them while I was at work. (Yes, I know that's low, but I didn't believe what he was telling me, and I was right!) He swears to me he treats us the same, but he doesn't. He's all cuddled up with her and kissing on her (and much more, from the looks of it), and never spends any time with me. I want to make it work, but he knows I'm not good at following through when I tell him he has to leave or end it with her. How do I finally put my foot down and make him make (and stick to) a decision instead of hiding it better?
2007-04-05 16:24:16 · 34 answers · asked by KerLaine 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wish I had more to say, but leave him.
2007-04-05 16:27:54 · answer #1 · answered by Daintyme 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Stop the presses. Am I missing something? Your husband of 6 months is doing what? And you watched. Put your foot down? You must be kidding. Your foot should be up his *** kicking him out the door. My dear where is your self esteem. This situation is not normal and never will be in the good book. Stop and look at yourself. Forget him. You are worth so much better than this. Nobody and I mean nobody will respect you if you do not respect yourself. How can you almost respect anything he does when you don't respect yourself. Start with self respect and go have a great life without this individual.
2007-04-05 16:48:11 · answer #2 · answered by Healthy Lifestyle Geek 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well Look at it like this, he doesn't want to hurt her but he is ok with hurting you, lying to you and and disrespecting you by doing it in your own home.
You have told him to end it with her or leave he is still there and obviously has no respect for you at all.
This should not be difficult. If you don't put your foot down 20 years from now you will be right where you are now if you aren't dead from contracting aides or some thing.
It's your decision it is your life.
I tell you what Hun I have been married for 22 years to the same man I have three kids by him and I love him to death.
But if he ever even thought about doing what your husband is doing I would leave in a heart beat and never look back.
I am a house wife and have never worked. But I guarantee you one thing for sure I would be gone like yesterday ok.
You need to quit listening to his bull and start thinking about what he is doing to you.
I don't know anything about you or how you believe or any thing but even the bible has a list of things that makes divorce ok. one is being crazy, abusive, or adultery.
2007-04-05 16:43:32 · answer #3 · answered by angie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl, honestly, you need to kick that man to the curb. He is not a faithful spouse and is giving you b.s. reasons to keep him around so he has a stable place to live and home cooked meals. The truth is going to hurt but it is obvious that he doesn't feel the same way about you as he does this other girl as he doesn't cuddle with you and such but does with her
AND; HE'S DOING THIS CRAP UP IN YOUR CRIB WHILE YOU ARE AT WORK MAKING THE MONEY TO PAY THE BILLS AND PUT FOOD ON THE TABLE SO HE CAN HAVE A PLACE TO HANG AND BANG HIS NEW WANNABE FLING THING?
Girlfriend, he's just a big **** you need to flush!!! I would come home from work, change the locks and throw all his **** on the lawn for him to pick up and file for divorce immediately. Maybe that'll wake him up or let you know where his heart really is. Have some respect for yourself and do this. Show him it's not ok to play with your heart. Remember: you are married now. You DONT leave, he gets his crap on the lawn with locks changed. He's cheating, NOT YOU!
P.S. Make sure you record with your web cam that he's doing this, because in court he may deny it, if kids are involved so you can keep the house and the kids and he can pay child support which will take away from his flingy thingy who will most likely leave him cause he'll be a broke ***.
2007-04-05 16:35:13 · answer #4 · answered by Tell It Like It Is! 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wait a minute, I thought u were the wife????
From the look of things, it seems u're more of the mistres than the wife. Why did u two get married, bcoz its only 6 months thru mariage and the guy has already forgotten about you. He's cheating before ur very eyes and doesn't even have any respect for you by the things he says. What about hurting ur feelings too?
I hate to say it, but there's nothing much going on for you. Start looking for a divorce lawyer and set yourself free from this prick!
2007-04-05 16:32:40 · answer #5 · answered by She-whom-shall-not-be-named 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why should HE make a decision??? You are ALLOWING him to have the both of you!! He'd be the fool, right???
YOU have to make a decision here...at 6 months he must feel very secure in the fact that you would not even think of leaving him if caught cheating...now you have to change all that...throw his s-h-i-t out the window and tell him you made the decision for him.
Good luck, hon and don't take anyone's crap ever again. Find someone that gives you the respect YOU deserve.
2007-04-05 16:39:52 · answer #6 · answered by mrs O 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Reread your question as if you were about to give a stranger advice on what was written there. What would your advice be? Wouldn't you say that it's time to take control of your life, stop being minipulated by this man and leave. He is not going to stopbecause he doesn't want to. And by you knowing about it and doing practically nothing, you are almost approving of this affair! No one deserves to be treated the way he is treating you. Convice yourself that you deserve better, and do something about it. I'm sure that this is not the life that you want for yourself. Get back out there and find yourself someone who is going to love you truely, honestly, and faithfully. Kick his *** to the curb with the rest of the trash! It's time for you to get angry! Go get em girl! Good Luck!
2007-04-05 17:09:02 · answer #7 · answered by anncinn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why are you still with him? he is sleeping with her, i know you dont want to think so but come on the signs are there. and what if he brings you a std, will you be ok with this then? i left my husband after i found out he was cheating and we was married 20 yrs with 3 kids. you need to kick his butt to the curb. if he wants her there is nothing you can do to stop him. call an atty and start to file for either a legal sep. or divorce. don't stay with him if he did it once he will (I guarantee) he will do it again. do you want to live the rest of your life playing 2nd to him. throw all his crap out or tell him he has to get it out within a time period, and be there when he gets his sh**. i sure wouldn't. dump his a** and find someone who really cares for you and wont cheat on you. good luck i hope you make a wise decision.
p.s. i actually changed the locks after being sep for 3 months because he thought he could just walk in my house anytime he chose to. and yes he really got mad cause i changed the locks but i figured that was on him. he's the one who cheated on the vows we made.
2007-04-05 16:32:36 · answer #8 · answered by kameo_44 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get the hell out.........don't walk.........run !!!! My God what do you see in him???? Six months of marriage and he is doing this. NO NO NO. What more disrespect do you need to see more of other than what you have already seen on the webcam? He wants her and he wants her bad ! He is more worried about hurting her than you. WOW! He is emotionally abusing you . Nobody deserves that. Don't settle for any of it at anytime day or night. He could go straight to China and take the hoe with him. Respect yourself because you mean more than that!! If you stay with this *** clown you will never be happy for the rest of your entire life. There are decent men in this world who would choose not to break your heart like that. Forget him and be glad you discovered early in your marriage and did not waste many years with him. There is no excuse for his behavior toward you and your marriage.Kick his nasty ....s to the curb and hope for a trash truck to run over him. Sorry sweetie if i got out of line here........I once had a dog like him and he bit me in the ***.
2007-04-05 20:41:53 · answer #9 · answered by Lindsey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 6 months? Is the girl insane? Does she not know that is your house? He's a dog. Why would he get married if he did not want a commitment. He's doing this because he knows you will not put your foot down. You have to realize you do not want this to go on for the rest of your life and it is NOT going to go away and he is going to do it as long as he can get away with it. Respect yourself.
2007-04-05 16:30:23 · answer #10 · answered by Nette 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Awwwwwwwwww he doesn't want to hurt her...how sweet.....NOT!! Wake up girl, what nerve this guy has! What about hurting you?? He doesn't seem to have a problem with that. You need to grow some balls, get some self esteem and pull yourself up by the bootstraps and move along! Now! Start packin!! What are you waiting for! Women everywhere are cheering you on! Do it!
Good luck sweetie, you're worth more than this.
2007-04-05 17:08:15 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋