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Question

I come from a family that has hetersexuals, homosexuals, and lesbians, therefore the bigortry and hate does not exist within our family toward homsexuality. I have 4 children of which one male is gay. The word F'got has never! ever! been used within the family unit. The other day my son was looking at a picture of himself with this huge coy smile,taken when he was about 5 years old .... He said to me, "well, you cant tell me that pic was not a F'g in the making". I was horrified that he himself would use that word. When I pulled him about that, he said you ask any homosexual and they will tell you "its o.k....we can call ourselves that and its o.k." I told him I would post this question on Yahoo to ask others ONLY who are gay, is it o.k.? I think it is so offensive, or am I being overly protective to a family I love so much?

Answer 1

It's like black people taking back the "N" word. Gay people are reclaiming words like ***** and Fruit because it puts the power back in our court. We can turn it into a positive connotation and its funny, coming from anyone else it's not. Just as the "N" word is used in the black community.

Answer 2

First of all there is a good chance that these clubs are clone. Really the only way to see is that what the description of the items are and where are you seeing the information. If it is on ebay you need to be careful because a lot of people will sell you one thing on ebay and send you something else, for example if you tried to a king cobra set, they'll send you a King Snake set, heard a lot of stories of this happening. I of course am not sure what kind of player you are nor do I know your handicapp. With that said I don't see a problem buying clone clubs if that is your intent. For someone is just starting out, has a high handicap or is not looking to spend a lot of money a name brand set, then these are an excellent option. I have buddy who purchased R7 Draw irons clone and they look identical to the Taylormade brand. He loves them has played a couple rounds with them and has not given complaint about them. He of course is a high handicap and wants to get better before he dumps a lot of money a really good set. A lot of these clone clubs are actually produced in the same factory as the Callaways, Taylormade, Nike etc. I have heard though that attention to detail is not quite the same as you will find a name brand item. I really cant say for sure.

Answer 3

It's like someone posted earlier, it's like black people calling each other the N word. Taking something that represented years upon years of oppression and evil and making it harmless.
I'm black and will use the word (not in the company of anyone I think will be uncomfortable with it), but I still will not use f*g towards anyone. I can't see it really being anything else.
It's all personal opinion and if your son is okay with calling himself that and it not being in an insulting way, then let him. But make sure he knows not everyone is going to appreciate him saying it.

Answer 4

It is used between gay people commonly. I guess the general view of it is sorta like the "N" word....It's only offensive if it is said in an offensive or cruel way. Kudos to you for being so protective and defensive of your family...but in this case I don't think you have cause for concern. It's very much that same as saying to yourself 'how could I have ever been so stupid'---you don't mean it as an insult to yourself...however, if you were to say to someone else 'how could you have been so stupid'--that would be offensive to the listener.

Answer 5

While it may be a matter of some controversy, yes. It's actually acceptable for us to use those words. Though using those words within a context outside the community in question might be considered a little uncouth. In other words, you have every right to object. I mean, if you find it objectionableIt's a thorny issue, really, and it's not as cut and dry as your son would have you believe.

Answer 6

Im not gay, put I do accept all kinds, and i can tell you that kids are just like that. They just feel a need to create a new generation of dirty slang or derogatory terms into use. Its a kids sense of rebel, as if using them once in a while are "cool." While you should tell him why he shouldnt use a derogatory term on himself, also loosen up a bit, kids will always say things adults find offensive.

Answer 7

I willing use that word to describe myself, and am not particularly offended by others appying the word to me. The specific term doesn't matter, you can tell if there is bigotry or not within the context of it's usage. An accepting friend calling me this with a light-hearted laugh does not concern me, a passing carful of bigots yelling it at and lobbing beercans at me as they pass does.

Answer 8

He's just stating a word that everybody uses and making fun of the word to show you how he could care less of it. Sorry I'm not gay but I know people that use words because they don't take the word seriously just other people do. Sorry I'm not gay but I had to answer this one.

Answer 9

Truly and honestly man, your being over the top protective. TOO MUCH!! It's just like a white man calling himself "cracker" or a dude with glasses calling himself four eyes. It's cool, baby. You'll live. I think you should chill and let your son call himself any name. It's awesome your son is okay with the fact that he's gay and would let anybody say it, but make a joke out of it. Some other guy told me shut it, 4 eyes... and what did I say? Can it, flunkie (he flunk 2nd and 1st grade)!

Answer 10

It is offensive ... honestly, I can say that I have called my friends that in a playful way though. We don't get all weirded-out over it.

It is reclaiming a negative word and making it ours. When someone/stranger calls me that from afar. I don't get all huffy .. usually come back with a witty retort that empowers me by not stooping to their level.

EDIT: I have some heterosexual friends that get really offended hearing any negative gay names called out. Its cute. They step up.