Will this help me get full custody of my kids?

Question

My ex wife placed a protection order on me for my kids. She has been jealious of my girlfriend so she went to the court house and told them I spanked my kids so they put a prtection order on me and know I can't see my kids for almost a month. I was just wondering if anyone thinks this would help my case for going for full custody of my kids. any input would be greatly appreciated

Answer 1

ok im sorry your going thru all of this. maybe it be better your new girl friend lay low for awhile. try to be the best father you can. I am a woman with full custody of my children trying to be fair not going to be mean to you because your a man.
If your able get a attorney to at least get visitation and dont let your ex wife break the bond with your children.
be careful that you dont push the new girl friend on the kids. they will accept her in their time. and if your wife is jealous and just using the kids tape record her calls if she is doing wrong it will evenutally come out.
hopefully she will move on with her life. you dont give up on your kids and dont let her keep them from you because she is bitter. and also pray for her.
never talk bad about their mom as much as wrong as she is doing i would keep my romance private dont let her know all your bussiness. you have a right to move on with your life just make sure your girl friend knows your kids come first. maybe the mom will come to her senses after she has accepted you moved on.
By the way i remarried and have a happy family there is hope good luck. if she is good mother maybe you can work out a arrangement. but do not let her mistreat you thru the kids

Answer 2

Here is the thing, they were not supposed to put the order unless they investigated your ex's complaint, or while they are investigating the complaint. If it is investigated by HRS (Home Reckers Service), and found to be untrue, then you will be able to see your kids again. But even if found untrue, the fact that the allegation was made, depending on the judge, can still very well hurt you. Child custody is a very nasty thing to deal with. When you have one spouse (or realities) who are vindictive, then you can and most likely will, have a nasty battle that can carry on for years.
Here is my suggestion for you for the next time you go to court. Ask the judge to assign a Gaurdian Ad-Lidem to the case. They are supposed to impartial and look out for the childs best interest. They are also able to see the WHOLE picture and report the TRUTH to the judge. Having a gaurdian appointed will also help cut down on the length of the case, they are the voice of the child and one of the only ones who (in the court room) will be able to see things from beginning to end.
Having kids and raising them can be tough, and alot of times it means making tough decisions. You need to decide whether or not you are going to be a good father who puts his kids first, or if you are going to be the angry parent who goes for the others juguler and winds up putting the kids in the middle and hurting them in the process. As it sounds, they already have one parent like that.

Answer 3

Ok, she had to have told them more than that you spanked the kids. I seriously don't see a judge granting a restraining order, just for spanking, since that is not against the law.

However, custody is suppose to be based on what is in the best interest of the kids. A judge is suppose to look at that when he decides custody arrangements.

So in your case, I really don't believe that her actions would make an impact on you getting full custody. Like I said, I believe she told them more than you spanked the kids. There are more factors in deciding custody, than what you have listed.

Answer 4

Shared custody would work- and you do know however things turned out between you and her - mom loves those kids as much as you. Maybe you could figure a split working arrangement. When our children were small we had a nanny. She was expensive but because of our work schedules and career choices she was only with us 3-4 days a week. We both had professional jobs and her pay was a stretch at times. (She was finishing her masters part time- so we had three schedules to work around.)

Answer 5

An order of protection...for spanking your kids?? That is BS. There has to be more to it than that. I could see it being placed on you if you were a daycare provider...not a parent. If spanking were against the law, NONE of us would have custody of our kids. Now, if you are spanking them and leaving bruises, that's different. If your girlfriend is spanking them and she has no right to, then I can see that. You need to take your papers with you to an attorney and ask him/her about that.

Answer 6

First of all, you have to go into this realizing that the law is slanted in the mother's favor right from square one. Let me tell you my brother's experience getting full custody. Ex-wife began drinking and using drugs. She once took their daughter to daycare and never picked her up, effectively abandoning her. She didn't surface until three days later! She lost one job because she tested positive for cocaine and once refused to be drug tested by the court in the custody hearing. Later, she attempted to pass their daughter's urine off as her own at another court ordered drug test. She had an arrest record for things like assaulting a police officer, contributing to the delinquency of minors, assault and battery and harassing witnesses, among other things. She had no job, no permanent address and there was evidence she was earning money as a prostitute. Sounds like Mother of the Year, huh? You wouldn't leave a goldfish in her care!

So with ALL that going against her, their custody case dragged out in court for over two years! She got continuance after continuance after continuance. She was told to take parenting classes, which she never did, and nothing happened. My brother finally got sole custody of his daughter ONLY because his ex failed to show up for two court appearances in a row and her attorneys knew of no way to contact her. Her attorneys even conceded in court on that last day that he would be the better parent by far.

So why did the case drag out so long? First of all, the courts are biased in the mother's favor. They don't really want to separate a child from its mother permanently. If my brother or any father had all the strikes against them that my brother's ex did, there wouldn't have even been a custody hearing. Secondly, as long as the checks keep clearing, the case will keep going. In the end, my brother went bankrupt ... but he got his daughter and that's the important part.

If you really want to go for sole custody, find a good lawyer and fasten your seatbelt!

Answer 7

It will be hard to get full custody of them sense she has already put a protection order on them so that's not going to make you look to good. But if your kids want to live with you and your willing to fight for full custody then i say go for it.

Answer 8

NO it wont help your case. But there is a point of dicepline and abuse that you may want to have your attorney show that you were only using diciplin and not abusing your children.
That is if you can prove it. ARe your kids old enough to talk to a judge? If not then you will definately have some serious problems.

Answer 9

How can this help you? The only way it could help you is if you can prove you never spank your kids. If you can't prove that, then it will hurt you, not help. It would be your word against hers. And if you ever spanked them, then she has a case against you.

Answer 10

You and your ex wife need to grow up, and behave like adults here, both of you do, for the sake of your children. Don't use your children as pawns in some sick game of revenge. Even if your ex wife started it, don't keep it going. Your children love BOTH of you, and shouldn't be asked to go through the entire choosing which parent they like the most routine that you're about to put them through. Your CHILDREN will wind up the losers here. Work out a custody agreement with your ex wife, use the lawyers here--since you 2 probably can't manage to be in the same room without being horrible to each other. Just remember, at one point in your life, you loved this woman enough to have sex with her, and create your children. Hopefully you love your children as well, and want the best for them. They didn't ask for you and your ex wife to get divorced, they don't deserve their parents acting like 2 year olds either.

(go ahead, give me the thumbs down rating....the truth hurts, doesn't it?)