I have been wit my husband for 7 years and married for 2. we have a lil one and now I am getting tired of him. I don't know the reason but i feel like everything we ever had was bull!!!!!! We have cheated and left each other before and now I feel I can't be in a relationship like that!!!!!!! I will be moving out and starting a new life by myself with my lil one. The thing that I wanted to ask is should I start dating right away if not how long do I wait??????? I really don't know what to do. I need some answers!!!!!! Any one that has been in a situation like this please help.
2007-04-05 12:01:22 · 21 answers · asked by bfromcali 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have a good job and I went to collage!!! I just feel that I have been paying and doing everything for our marrage. My husband didn't star working untill 3 years ago and now it's stable. I was going to school and had a full time job. I just feel I have had enough of doing everything for him!!!! I also think that he is taking advantage of me. most of the answers that I got are telling me to get a job which i do and start a career which I have.
2007-04-05 13:07:22 · update #1
There is really no time limit that you need to give yourself if the right guy comes a long great, but meanwhile take care of your needs in other ways, until you are happy with yourself you wont be happy with anyone, work on you and your baby.
I also think a broken home is not good for any child, however, its better to raise your child your self then put them through your wrecked marriage, do whats right for you and the baby everything else will fall into place.
2007-04-05 17:40:22 · answer #1 · answered by sabrina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As I see it, first you have to get settled into your new life with your child. Second you need to mourn the loss of your "old life" and husband. It doesn't matter how bad it was, it is still a "loss". Third you must "find" yourself and learn to like you. It's appears obvious that you are not comfortable being alone with you. I say this because you are thinking of a new relationship before you have any closure on the current one. Married at age 20, what were you getting away from then? You dated this guy since you were 13, of course there would be cheating, you guys didn't "know" anyone but each other. You can start by really thinking about the following statements you made (including punctuation):
everything we ever had was bull!!!!!!!!
I can't be in a relationship like that!!!!!!!!!
how long do I wait?????????
I need some answers!!!!!!!!
With all due respect your statements and questions sound like a child throwing a tantrum.
It may take time to find the answers you want, and you may also learn that the honest answers are not what you want to hear. Are you prepared for the answers? Some of your thinking may be wrong, and you may need someone (professional) to help you understand why.
I wish you the best.
2007-04-05 12:21:58 · answer #2 · answered by Mike M. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be suffering from post-partum depression. That doesn't mean that you should stay with him, or that your problems with him aren't real, but that you may need help in coping with your situation because of post-pregnancy hormone levels.
You should wait to date until you are stable again. Your child is your first priority now and no relationship should come before the needs of your child. You should look for a man who will be a good father as well as a good husband.
Take care.
2007-04-05 12:18:58 · answer #3 · answered by Sara B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spend some time with just yourself and your child before you start dating again. Part of the reason that you were in this marriage and now are unhappy with it is that you are undecided about what you want and who you are. Being alone without anyone else's influence will help you figure all of this out. It's important to be a complete person all by yourself. You should not be looking for someone to complete you. That always makes you a partial person. If you are complete and independent, you never have to invite someone into your life because of financial or emotional needs. You can invite another complete person to share in your life and your joy.
2007-04-05 12:08:15 · answer #4 · answered by friendlyadvice 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG! first of all you're not even divorced, secondly you're taking your daughter away from the house mommy and daddy share. You should be concerned about getting a job, getting an apartment, going back to school, teaching your daughter, to be independent and that she does not need a man to complete her life. Get your divorce paper from your husband and wait until the ink dries. Keep them legs close as well, you're not even on your own let alone on your feet, and you're wondering how long you should wait for your next lay.
Have some respect for yourself, and please be a good role model for your daughter and don't let ther think sleeping around is okay, because its NOT! take time to heal emotionally. I'll be praying for you, hope all works out.
2007-04-05 12:23:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anita M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to get comfortable with living on your own with your lil one, before getting tied up again. Dating will be different now that you have that lil one. You have her to think about when you date now, its not about you anymore. Sorry it didnt work out with the husband, but good luck in the future. If ya need a friend look me up. I'll give you the honest answers. No bs here.
2007-04-05 12:10:50 · answer #6 · answered by biggdaddy1669 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't you think you will have enough in your plate with just moving and taking care of your little one???...
Get yourself situated and stable, then you can start dating... all that drama aftertaste that a previous relationship leaves needs to be washed and rinsed off before you meet someone new... it is just fair for everyone, including your little one...
and take it easy, your #1 priority right now should be your little one and being a good mother...
Good Luck...
2007-04-05 12:09:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont date until the divorce is final so you dont complicate things, and have more time to focus on a new relationship, but after that as soon as you feel ready go for it. Its perfectly fine to start dating soon after the relationship ends especially if nothing you do can ever really fix the marriage.
2007-04-05 12:07:51 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't date until at LEAST the divorce is final!
You've been with someone since 15 years old, now would be a good time to stand on your own 2 feet, to grow as a person, and to become strong.
Give it a year or more!
2007-04-05 12:11:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is wrong with you that you would get married at age 20?? and have a kid right away? Are you that uneducated!? I mean seriously... you are so dumb. You deserve to be in the spot you are at, that is what you get for being so stupid, for marrying so young and having a baby right away. You are 22... you should have been enjoying life, having a career, or exploring and dating many different guys at this age! Now you will never get to party or have fun like normal 22yr olds, you have an enormous responsibilty now.
2007-04-05 12:14:09 · answer #10 · answered by katie colmes 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋