Parents, Do you smack your kids?

Question

I hate smacking so much, it really annoys me, I'm going to be a mummy in 5 months time and my hubby and i have made a promise that we will never smack our kids at all. We would just tell them that it's not a good thing to do that. What about you parents?

Answer 1

Good for you! I have never hit my kids (they are 12 now), and I made my wife promise that she would never hit them either. They are quite well behaved. There is really no evidence that hitting children does any good at all.

Answer 2

I suppose Dr Phil has the right idea although I was smacked a tiny bit & i smacked a bit & i have no hang ups & my kids say the same but there is smacking & then there is smacking!!
If a child is naughty they need more than words they need consequences (punishment) but not mean punishments
& they have to be old enough to understand
you need to choose punishments that suit the child & they need to know beforehand that if they are naughty they wont be able to watch their favourite Tv show or what ever it is that will work best for that child & as i said dont be a mean old thing give them a few warnings especially if its only a little naughty thing you dont want to be a big bad bully sergeant major etc
& this will work but you must stick to it & it MAY INCONVENIENCE you at first
but if a child is playing up in the shops & you can't deal with it just come home simple as that!
then if you have a sitter for that day you go back without them!or go another day
even in a car if they play up to a point you cant stand come home!!
In time they will get the hint
Dads cause a lot of problems saying "If you do blah blah you are not going or we are going home " etc etc & then they never stick to what they say
& kids are not stupid lol & know they can always get away with it because Daddy does not do what he says
( some Mums may do that also )

Answer 3

I was smacked as a child and I don't resent it today, now over 20yrs old. I actually remember (with an evil grin) times when I tested my boundaries and a smack warned me not to go there again. I learnt my lesson. I didn't like it at the time, but I have turned into a person who detests physical violence (although still approve of smacking, which let's be clear is not 'hitting' - there's a big difference between these two – a hit verges on physical abuse). The reason I mention this is because there is some new campaign in Australia alleging that smacking makes people grow up believing violence is acceptable. That's crap. I have super-strong morals and would never hit anyone....but smacking is different.

What are the alternatives? Ignore them? That's how we treat dogs to tame them...are we going to psych these kids into submission? Kids need guidance and I only now, at 20, feel like I’m smart enough to truly know the world and my place in it. I sure as hell had no concept of this as a toddler – why should future generations be different? (I also mention toddler because if kids are still misbehaving past a certain age then you're doing something wrong plain and simple).

Whether you choose to or not there are unspoken rules: never smack a child anywhere save the back of the thigh/rump, and never do it too hard. It's a warning punishment that snapped me out of foul behaviour and made me consider why I'd gotten smacked. It’s up to you of course, but never judge those who do smack, because quite frankly we can’t understand why you hate it so much….perhaps some past abuse? Who knows…but like I said, there are rules, and they must never be overstepped.

Answer 4

So, I take it that you'll be one (or perhaps two) of those parents who, based on their faith in verbal instructions, WON'T be cheesed off when either
a.) your kid is injured or killed in the world beyond their home?
b.) someone outside your home in a position of authority suspends, expels, or arrests your child?
I must say, when i was a father-to-be, that I held the same point of view as you now do. However, verbal instruction only works as long as you are the ONLY person\people they respect. Once other authority figures are introduced into their ever-growing world, you will find that a simple verbal command will hold less power over your kid(s). It may not happen (if you're really lucky!) until they have reached the age of five or six, but your loss of control WILL happen at some point.
Good Luck with the 'hands-off' approach. If you make it work, and your kid(s) are listening to the verbal orders WITHOUT any physical aggresion or interaction on your part or on the part of your spouse, please write a book and go on the Child Psychology lecture circuit, because you'll love the fame and fortune your success in this is sure to bring you and yours...

Answer 5

This is the reason kids today are so out of control. Parents want to be a friend to their child and "talk" to them. They don't respect their parents because they don't have to, the parents aren't going to do anyting but give them a stern lecture. I see this everyday. Its funny to hear my niece when my sis walks away after one of these talks. She has such a look of "i'm sorry" while she's receiving the stern talking to, but as soon as she walks away, lol, that evil grin comes back. Kids are smart, they will keep pushing the envelope until they are stopped. When I was growing up, we didn't have 5th graders having sex and stabbing each other like I read earlier this week. But nowadays thats common place. I can't imagine why, we live in a world of political correctness and pacifism.

Answer 6

I don't like spanking my son. However, when he started touching the outlets, no matter how much I yelled or pulled him away, he kept going back. So I smacked his hand. I felt bad at first, but he kept away. Other than that incident, I don't see any reason for hitting your kids. If you kid is putting themselves into a dangerous situation, and you need to do something drastic to get thier attention, then I think it's OK for a quick swat on the hand or the backside. When you spank them, your teaching them to hit when they're mad.
My brother has 4 kids. And his youngest went through a hitting stage. And whenever she'd hit one of her brothers or sisters, he'd spank her. I just though that was the dumbest thing to do. How can you hit, but say "don't hit"? It doesn't make any sense.
Congratulations on you and your husbands choice to not spank! It's one less aggressive child in our otherwise violent world! : )

Answer 7

There is a huge difference between Smacking and spanking a child. I don't think smacking is the proper way to let your kids know that they have done something bad, however it is perfectly fine to spank a kid on the butt when they're big enough to recognize why they've been spunked. believe me spanking your kid will give them character. you are not abusing them, you are disciplining them. sometime just telling them doesn't always cut it . Good luck

Answer 8

Never. She's barely going to turn a yr. old, but I have never smacked her. Its not right to smack them in order for them to obey. My father would always talk to us and let us know why it was bad whatever we were doing. And let me tell you, his words hurt us more than the spankings. Letting the child know what is right from wrong is much better than just hitting them and telling them "NO", they will never understand that way.

Answer 9

yes i used to smack my daughter on the back of her hand when she was little probably 12 times and normally for doing anything that was dangerous ie fingers in electric sockets she only did that the once she is now a well adjusted 19 year old and she would say that it never did her any harm

Answer 10

My father never did, my Stepdad ALWAYS did (with a belt), my husband & I NEVER did. Except---- the smack on the back of the hand with a firm "no" when she went after a plant or an ashtray.
PS My daughter is an amazing, beautiful (inside & out) 20 year old
Congratulations!!! ( :

Answer 11

got that enough as a kid myself.I have 3 kids and I am a " get in the corner" person.also when they got older i make them write.for instance depending on thier age you choose how many times they write," I will not talk back to my parents"-50 times.Or " I will do my homework" 50 times or 100 times depending on if it is a 2nd offense.at the age of like 6 or 7 maybe 25 times writing.Anyway that is what we do.no one wants to write the same sentance over and over.other punishments - take away a favorite item.At my kids ages,taking away video games works.