For those of you in a living together long term relationship, for the females! Is there anyone who finds that you want it and your man doesn't? Usually it's the woman that's not in the mood! I am positive he's not messing around, so no it's not cheating, trust me! And yes the plumbing works just fine. But it's getting to the point, where if I don't force it out of him, he's not in the mood, or too tired, etc. Please any advice would be good. Please Help, I want my man to bring back that Loving feeling!!!!
2007-04-05 10:50:20 · 15 answers · asked by moostang67 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Girl, if you find the answer, I want 'choo to sell me some of dat! :)
2007-04-05 10:53:54 · answer #1 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i went thru the same with my live-in boy for a while. he always claimed he was tired too. eventually i stopped asking, he noticed. and then it all turned around. now i'm the tired one.
however once i started working longer hours i never wanted it either. depending on his schedule, he may just be tired. but it is a bit odd for a guy to have a low sex drive.
my advice - stop asking & see what happens; if he doesn't start giving it up then i'd be suspicious. ask if there's someone else or if he's not sexually attracted to you anymore. but i would point out that you aren't even married yet & shouldn't have to put up with this. let him know that if he has a problem, you need to work it out together
2007-04-05 10:58:04 · answer #2 · answered by RedDevyl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sexual desire is caused by the testosterone level in your body. 2/3 of all men have a very high testosterone level resulting in a very high sex drive. 1/3 of all men have low levels of testosterone. Because they are in the minority, everyone thinks that this isn't normal. The fact is that it is normal for him. If it is a huge concern, he can have his hormone levels checked by his doctor. There are hormone treatments that he could try, but you need to find a doctor who specializes in this sort of treatment.
As the person with the high desire, here are a few tips: Desire can be totally separate from love, so don't take lack of desire personally. Become an expert at your partner's arousal. Honor your partner's preconditions (time of day, hygiene, etc.) Be open to relieving some of that sexual energy through masturbation.
2007-04-05 11:04:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm on the female side of that. Especially lately. My husband is really into me and constantly wants me badly. It's not because I don't find him alluring or that I'm not into him, it's i'm not really into ME. I don't find myself particularly sexual and can't really communicate that to him. Maybe he's having the same issue. And it's not necessarily a self-esteem thing, because I've got a great self-image, but after working all day, then coming home and taking care of the kids and the house, and making dinner and whatnot, I don't feel particularly sexual. Try talking to him about it. Be calm, be understanding, try to see it from his point of view. Don't be condescending, don't be judgemental, let him know you're concerned for your relationship and his well-being. Don't make it a personal attack on him, and don't take his lack of sexual interest as personal against you. 9 times out of 10, it's not personal. It's jsut something he's dealing with.
2007-04-05 11:00:36 · answer #4 · answered by lupinesidhe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man not wanting sex sounds weird huh, but not unheard of. Some men, like women, when something emotionally is wrong that is the way they express it. Try communicating. Sounds like something is going on with either him or the relationship that is affecting him in some way. Once you communicate whats wrong the love making will come back. Or is that whats missing? He may not want to just get off and wants to emotionally connect you on every level. He wants that intense love making type sex. But either way to find out whats wrong is to communicate.
2007-04-05 10:59:45 · answer #5 · answered by 3whiskerbiscuits 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been with my boyfriend for almost 7 years, living together for 5. Personally, I have never had that problem, but I have noticed that trying new things together have made it more interesting and made him want it more often, than normal. Maybe try to bring in some toys or try new positions! Good Luck!
2007-04-05 11:01:04 · answer #6 · answered by Abby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband has had low libido his whole life - it's unlike any other guy I have ever met, but this is what is normal for him. We spend most of our free time together, but we can go for weeks without sex, and it works for both of us. A doctor pointed out to us that it might be due to the low testosterone levels; perhaps you could have your man talk to a medical professional. Good luck.
2007-04-05 10:57:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in a long distance relationship he is in NJ and i am in AZ.
sucks huh?
well, i dont know where you are comming from because right when he gets off the plane or i do.. you know what we are doing.
it might be age and just stress.. like you said if hes not cheating it has to be something so why dont you just ask him.. hes not going to be mad and just be understanding.
tell him you dont want to have to force him and sometimes you want to be spoiled and have him to make the first moves first... and want to make you feel good and pleasure you.
i wish i could help you solve this but you know who the person who could is.. so what are you waiting for?
2007-04-05 10:55:23 · answer #8 · answered by Irishbeauty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am married to a man who is never in the mood. Try visiting the adult toy store and finding something to pleasure yourself. When my husband see or hears me pleasuring my self he usually gets in the mood quickly.
2007-04-05 10:56:26 · answer #9 · answered by DEBBY'S BABY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-21 03:20:42 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is the way he is, if that is't good enough then you need to find a guy who has a higher sex drive.
Like you said, I have found that it's usually the girl who doesn't want it as much. It's just so tough to find a girl who wants it as much as me.
Good luck with this one.
2007-04-05 10:55:28 · answer #11 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋