Moms, have you ever?

Question

Often pondered the birth of your child and thought it was horrible? I'm a first time mom and my son is almost 7mo old now. I feel kinda weird asking but want to know if anyone feels like me. I often think back to his birth and feel it was horrible. I had to be induced 3 weeks early because of a high risk pregnancy. So many things happened unexpectedly, I got a epidural that later wished I never got, I didn't like it. I had to get a c-section and then had to be knocked out because I freaked out on the table. I never got to see my son born and didn't really see and hold him for the first time until 12 hours later. Don't get me wrong, I will never forget the first time I saw him and the first time he looked at me. It has nothing to do with him, I just wish I could of had a better experience and always hope that my next one will be way different.

Delbolof, I agree because when your in the moment you just go with it but after it was all said and done I feel the induction and c-section was out of convienance of my doctor. I will do my research next time and find a better doctor. I just feel robbed out of a natural experience when I look back.
Thanks to those that let me know I'm not alone, that's what I needed!

This is not my "focus" in life just wanted some relief that others feel like this.

Kennedysma, that was the best response yet! Exactly how I feel!

Answer 1

I too don't look back on the birth of my daughter with all fondness. I was in labor for 27 hrs and then I had to have an emergency cesarean because I was only dialated 3 centimeters and my daughters heart rate kept dropping off by more than half. When I finally had her they knocked me out too so I didn't see her for almost 5 hours after she was born. And don't even get me started on the pain of recovery! I, like you, love my daughter to pieces, but she is almost 2 now, and I STILL don't want another one. BC I don't want another c-section and I also had horrible depression after she was born. I was a WRECK! So I know where your're coming from. It's not the child (I love my Kennedy more than anything) it's the memory of the birth and how it wasn't as magical as everyone said it was supposed to be...and that makes me think there is something wrong with ME...until you spoke up and now I know there are others who admit childbirth isn't all pink and blue blankies

Answer 2

I had a very similar experience...induced, epidural that made me hypotensive so they shot me with epi, which made me hypertensive, c-section after only dilating to 4 and he wasn't doing very well. It's a lot to handle for a first time birth and I do feel like I missed out on a natural experience. I also kinda feel guilty about it...don't know why though, everyone is healthy and safe. I guess it's that notion that we couldn't do one of the basic functions a woman's body is capable, give birth. Do I feel cheated? Kinda. But that's just the way it goes for some of us and we have to focus on the positives, like healthy babies. Isn't that all anybody really wants in the end? I'm pregnant again and did do research on VBAC but have decided against it for myself...too risky given my family history. My son is 22months and a perfectly healthy, happy toddler. Trust me, the "cheated" feelings go away as your son takes up more and more of your time, but they don't always leave you. I say we are due for a complication-free pregnancy and delivery next time! We deserve it!

Answer 3

My epidural didn't work properly and I could feel them cutting into me during my C-section. I said oh my god I can feel you ripping apart my flesh and they immediately put me to sleep. I didn't wake up until 6 hours later and it was the middle of the night and the nurse wouldn't let me see my son unless his dad agreed to stay the night in my room. I had a big fight with him cause he wanted to go home. I didn't get to be the first person to hold him or feed him and that hurt for a long time. He's 7 now and I have gotten over it. The most important thing is that he was born healthy, the rest of it doesn't really matter.

Answer 4

I had to be induced 3 weeks early also because of a high risk pregnancy. I didn't have the option of an epidural because it would have paralyzed me. I had to be put to sleep for my c-section. That's something that I had no control over. I'm just thankful that I'm alive today and that I got to hold my son.

I am disappointed that I didn't get to see him right away and I had to wait so long (almost 10 hours) before I even saw or held him.

Answer 5

Me too. I feel that way. When my daughter was born, I felt horrible. They asked me if they should wait so I could give her her first bath and frankly, I just wanted to soak in the tub...bathe away. I looked back at the bed I just gave birth on and it looked like someone was just murdered (i.e. a lot of blood).

I had pre-eclampsia and was induced 2 weeks early. They hooked me up to mag sulfate and I had to unhook my monitor and pee every 10-15 minutes.

I had a born again nurse and I have potty mouth.

My epidural "didn't take" and no one believed me. By the time they said to bring the anthesiologist in again, it was too late.

At the birth, nurse "break time" was right when I started pushing (I liked the new nurse better). But the old one came back just as she crowned. Since there was no doctor there, I was told to "wait" (Like hell!)

And finally, within 2 hours of the birth, my daughter was whisked away to Children's hospital for a genetic condition that was discovered (no platelets) and she spent her first week there. I didn't get to spend the first night with her...I was alone.

Yup, they all can't be good, can they? For those with positive experiences, count your lucky stars.

Answer 6

I agree. I too had to have an emergency cesarean after 56 1/2 hours of labor. I felt like a horrible Mother because right after she was born, he Daddy was soooo happy, near tears and I could have carred less. I was exhausted. A lot more when wrong with mine too....so no, you're not alone. That is why this time I'm having a VBAC instead of cesarean {even though I know they say planned c-sections are easier than emergency ones}. I'm hoping this time around will be better :)

Answer 7

Of course you wish things were different, you had a traumatic experience!
Childbirth is often 'glamorised', and depicted in a way which shows that nothing goes wrong, and when it does, it's a shock for everyone concerned, especially the mom who has looked forward to the whole labour experience at the end of a text book pregnancy. And nothing is more traumatic than realising that want you want isn't going to happen.
Have a chat with your doctor about how you feel, he may put you in touch with a counsellor who can help you understand your feelings and fears.

I hope that the next one is better for you :)

Answer 8

Oh yes. When I had my son, they had put this mirror at the end of the bed. And even now, it gets to me because no one was listening to me when I said no mirror. That and he pooped in utero, so I had so many extra people in the room. People to take care of me and him. I think it was about a minute before he was allowed to breathe. Then I was showed this cocoon looking package with a face and they walked out the door with him. I also didn't get to hold him for 12 hours. He had to stay in the special care nursery until he was four days old.

Second time was a much better experience labor and delivery wise. I had a spinal tap afterwards though.

Answer 9

In my opinion it's probably the memory of the "c-section" that make you feel it was so horrible. I always say count yourself luck things could have been worse, right? I have 2 boys, my eldest 3 years old and my youngest 10 1/2 months old. I totally relate to how you feel. My eldest was born prematurely and 34 weeks and I always look back and wished he stayed in my tummy a little longer and I do feel somewhat incapable of carrying him longer but like I said we have to be thankful for what we have. My youngest took less than 2 hours to be born so that was a good thing. Good luck!

Answer 10

You sound like you are telling my story! I was induced which i believe now was due to mardi gras! I couldnt stop shaking, and the eventual c section made me feel like i was laying on a cross. It was a really scary and creepy situation. I too will seek a different doctor. you are not alone!

I too also hope (now that we know what to expect a little better) that oneday i can enjoy a pregnancy and birth of a 2nd child.