My husband left me 3 years ago for a younger woman now he wants to come back saying it will be good for the kids, he has not seen them in the 3 years his own choice, i've made a new life and although I do get lonely the kids aged 6 and 5 and I are doing fine but should I take him back for their sake
2007-04-05 09:47:54 · 16 answers · asked by MrsBucket 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He's not coming back for the kids and you know it. If he cared about the kids he would have spent all the time he could with them. This is about you.
And it's your choice. But what's going to happen when he comes back and it's the same life he left? Will he leave again?
2007-04-05 09:53:47 · answer #1 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say NO. Because if you take him back, that will give him the notion that he can just pick you up and put you down whenever he wants.....that wouldnt be fun. Since you have moved on, it may cause you even more pain in the event that he does it a second time. I appreciate the fact that u have the kids at heart, however, just because you dont take him back doesnt mean he can't see his children. So, maybe you can allow him in your life, but not on a serious level.....just to interact with his kids, b/c i am sure they miss him! Choose wisely!! good luck!!
2007-04-05 16:57:10 · answer #2 · answered by bgsfnstldy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, if he really had true feelings for his children, he would have done his utmost to see them in the last three years.
It seems to me as though he wants to come back because things have gone pear shaped with the other woman.
You say you've made a new life, well done, don't have him back to get hurt again. Of course you get lonely at times but you will be far happier without him methinks.
Have a wonderful life with your children, be happy.
xMorsel
2007-04-05 17:01:14 · answer #3 · answered by Morsel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't just take him back for their sake. It has to be right for you too.
Invite him to become a part of the life of your children, get to know them again, but I would advise this as a gradual process rather than just moving him back in again.
Can you trust him not to run off with another woman again? How damaging would this be to your children if they got used to him being around. Take things slowly and don't make any rushed decisions.
If he wanted what was best for his kids, he would not have lost contact with them in the first place.
Good luck in whatever you decide.
2007-04-05 16:56:11 · answer #4 · answered by Jan L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no,not under any circumstances, sorry to say it but if a man is prepared to walk away from his kids and stay gone for 3 years he's not thinking of the children he's probably just feeling shitty about his life, he's more than capable of doing it again and now Ur kids are older it will effect them more. I'm in the same boat hunny my ex dos'nt see my son anymore, sometimes in certain situations it's for the best
xx
2007-04-05 16:55:51 · answer #5 · answered by tj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in ur own interest, don't let him back into ur life. if he wants to spend time with the kids, give him a chance. but try to not to get involved with him because he's probably going to leave again. like most men, he suffers from the grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side syndrome, and had discovered that it isnt, and suddenly it's greener on ur side again.
if he has to be with the kids, let it be with a chaperone, maybe your mom or a nanny. do all u can not to fall for him as it can never ever be the same again. good luck.
2007-04-05 17:09:08 · answer #6 · answered by divagal08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he doesn't want to come back for the kids, he is only using them as his excuse because he has run out of options of women who are available to him, you have already created a new life for yourself and has survived without him, if he really wanted to be there for the children then he would have done so when he left it shouldn't take him coming back to be in his kids life, and you and your children don't need to go through the turmoil of not knowing when and if he will leave again and desert the family, for the children's sake just go on with your life and if he wants to really be in their lives then he can still do so but you owe it to them to maintain a stable environment and to show them that they will always have a parent who will remain in thier life and not run out on them....
2007-04-05 17:02:18 · answer #7 · answered by MidnightSkies 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, no no..! For the kids sake? The same kids he's chosen not to see for 3 years? What, it didn't work out with what's her name and now he wants to come back?
NO, No, no...good for you for pulling yourself together and moving on. Do Not backslide now.
Good Luck & Stay Strong.
2007-04-05 16:56:04 · answer #8 · answered by samantha 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally IMHO i'd tell him to clear off. He wasn't thinking too much about what was good for his kids when he cleared off and chose not to see them for three years. I think you'll find the other woman has kicked him out and he's probably got nowhere else to go so he'll see if you're soft enough to take him back. You and your children deserve better than this man.
2007-04-05 17:14:42 · answer #9 · answered by Daisy the cow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no and definatley not just for the kids sake, he left you, whats to say he wont do it again, he can still be a good dad being apart. Dont do it to yourself, dont let him treat you like a door mat you are worth so much more
2007-04-05 16:54:58 · answer #10 · answered by mudfish 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋