Should I leave this married man alone?

Question

He's still with his wife. On top of that I did the worst thing that you could imagine. I got pregnant. (Yeah stupid) I couldn't go through with the abortion. I had the baby.We now have a baby under 1 year. She (the wife) does not know about the baby nor me. I don't want to hurt her feelings. He love his son so much. He provides him with things that he need. I hate to interfier with the relationship of my son and his father.But it's so hard to go on like this. This situation is crazy. . I feel trapped in an affair. WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????????????

Answer 1

I not going to pass judgment on you, as people are human and make mistakes, he must have been charming, but the deed is done, and the issue is not about him and you but about what is best for the baby. I would say get out of the affair, it will only bring you more pain and heartache, and who knows maybe a second child. I would tell him please provide for the child, and leave it up to him if he wants to tell his wife, say you will keep it a secret as long as he keeps taking care of the child, once he stops, go to court and make sure he is responsible for the child he created with you. There is a strong chance you will find another man and fall in love again, if he loves his wife and there is no possibilities for you set him free. It will be very hard, but he can't have his wife and mistress, the wife don't know about you, but you do know about her. Let him go.

Answer 2

Child support, 1 day a week visit and a serious talk with the "wife". She must know, better now then later when the kid is older and one day dropes by his fathers house accidentally and the secret spills faster than you can say "ohh ohh". You should have known better but what is done is done and if you and this man had the guts to have the 5 minute plessure than fess up, get some guts and speak to the baby daddy about this. Eventually things will settle and you will feel alot better. Do it for the baby's sake.

Answer 3

He does not want to be with you, just wants to sleep with you. You won't get more than that. If you are tired of him, simply stop sleeping with him. If he loves his son he will continue providing, whether he sleeps with you or not.

You said you don't want to hurt his wife's feelings. Then don't. He should be the one to tell her (if anyone tells her), not you. I don't even understand why you mention her at all, nor do I understand why you need to interfere with his relationship with your son (if he's providing and spending time

You chose to have a child by a married man. Know that baby will never have daddy at home. Even if the marriage breaks up, he's not likely to move in with you and baby. If you initiate animosity, he will end up despising you because you "switched gears" and started making demands.

Sure, peopple change their minds about things. Perhaps you fell in love and now want more than what he is willing to give. Just be careful and deliberate about how you react to those feelings.

You seem unsettled. I would advise you to stop sleeping with this man and simply raise your son like any other single mother. The father's marital status need not affect your relationship with your son. Your son can have his father and a stepdad - that's your choice.

Answer 4

I'm not here to point fingers at you but you never ever should have gotten involved with a married man.There are so many single men in the world.
How would you feel if you were married and someone would get involved with your husband???
I can not tell you what to do...but I feel very bad for the wife & any children that may be involved in this mess.Its really just a matter of time when she finds out the truth... she will be heart broken...I know that I would be!!!

Answer 5

Confess to what you did and deal with her reaction. Did you know he was married before you started messing with him? If you did, that is when you started hurting her whether she knew or not. This is just crazy, how do people like you (sorry-- I don't mean to be a twit) live with themselves. I could NEVER hurt a person like that let alone put a child in the middle of the situation. Tell her or have him tell her. I hate to say this but I bet he turns on you in a second after you say this to him. Be prepared for the worst. Good luck!

Answer 6

Been there done that...aside from the pregnancy thing. Honestly you are in a lose/lose situtation. Remember that you are never trapped. If nothing else, you have to leave this man for your child. What is going to happen when your son is old enough to understand what is going on. Do you honestly think he is going to have respect for either of you. Plus, how fair is it to your child for you and this man to "hide" your son. You have to think about your son and not yourself or this man, you are both being selfish. The man obviously does not love you enough to leave his wife and start a family with you and your son. He can still be in your son's life whether you are together or not. Either way you look at it, this man is no good for you or for that matter his wife, and if she finds out so be it. He put himself in this situation, neither you or your son made the choice for him. Even though you are not 100% innocent yourself so shame on you! (but like I said been there done that..so who am I to point the finger) ..Fact is, you need to make a stand and let this man know that he can still take place in his chidl's life but not like this...you need to tell him to make a choice, either you or his wife..he can still be your son's father either way if you allow it that is....and if he chooses his wife then you needed to make sure you do not let him sweet talk you back into this mess. Either way his wife needs to know and your son does not need to remain a secret from the world..this is not fair to your son and believe me he will find out one day what is going on if you do not end it.

Answer 7

I so sorry that u r putting ur child in this situation. U should have know that he was not going to leave his wife. He was just using u. I bet he would tell u thing about her and how unhappy he was.. Every cheating man's story...

U need to tell her. U should put ur self in her shoes how would u feel if he did it to u. Us woman need to sick 2gether. If he ends up leaving his wife it doesn't mean he will go to u!! U never know he might have someone else on the side.

I wish u and ur baby the best.

Answer 8

Let him have his relationship with his son since you brought the child into this world, but end ANY relationship between the two of you. Of course he is still with his wife. He has her, and has had you on the side too. Stop letting this unfaithful jerk use you. Why you would even want to be with someone who has no problem cheating is the real question here.

Answer 9

I don't think it is realistic to think that he can hide his son from his wife for an entire lifetime. I would go ahead and have visitation and child support papers drawn up by an attorney and get them filed with the court. I don't think you and him are an item any more from reading this, it sounds like you feel stuck because of the child and wish things were all out in the open at this point as you are tired of sneaking around.

You are right - it may as well come out in the open and his wife can decide whether or not she wants to stay in the marriage. I repeat - he cannot hide this child from her forever. It's unrealistic to believe that he can.

Get an attorney and get the papers drawn up - for your son and your peace of mind. He has to deal with his issues - they are not yours.

Answer 10

Well you made a fine mess there didn't you! Screwing around with a married man is never a good thing, but you did and know you need help. So my advice to you is break it off and take him to court for a set visitation schedule and child support. Move on with your life because he isn't leaving his wife any time soon honey. Next time find a free guy and one who thinks more of you then to sneak around behind his wife's back.