no sex from her, why??

Question

why is she too tired for sex or love?? im trying to understand her that she works,goes to school and has 4 kids, but i cook,clean,watch her kids and there for them with school work, and do small stuff for her so i can make time for us. when we have sex its rushed with kids being up, or its where i do all work, she wants me to be more aggressive, and when i do, its like no kids up, or kids away she just wants to sleep. please help me understand here. i ask her if its me and she says im great without sounding like im bragging, but i feel alot of ways it is me, but doesnt want to hurt the male ego pride, i dont care about my ego, i want to get her excited, she says i last to long and it hurts here to have sex. so what can i do to understand her more.

Answer 1

She told you. "It hurts'. When I told my man that, he did not believe. In fact he WANTED it to hurt - did something for his ego, so I dropped him and found a man who listened.

Answer 2

It sound like you have too much going on for her to get relaxed, as when a woman is anxious, sex can be painful, as all your muscles are tightening up, lasting a long time is great, most women would love a man that lasted long, but she may need some lubing like you get from K-Y, so do little things like stop and massage, use the K-Y here and there, trying to get her at her best time of day, as at the end of the day she maybe so spent, try a morning or afternoon. Plan moments of intimacy, afternoon coffee or tea, or take a shower together. Communicate with her, and reassure her of one thing and that is of your love and devotion for her. Knowing your man loves you is big turn on.

Answer 3

Women are funny creatures. Almost as funny as men.

Women want to be with their equal.
Women like the help, but they don't love a servant.

She may be valuing herself too highly and expecting you to literally work of it.

If a person wants sex they make the time.

She is not making the time.
She is making excuses.

Stop doing everything to try and get sex.

Do what needs to be done, because it needs to be done.

If she complains that you didn't do XYZ then tell her off.

Remember she wants to be with an equal.

Find a hobby or something to take up your time that you really enjoy.

She will eventually try and use sex to get you to spend time with her.

Sex is NOT her gift to you.
Its your gift to each other.

If she is wanting more work out of you or date nights then she is asking to be paid for sex and its not a gift.

Men don't care about date night or any of that stuff.

Be a man and be her equal.

If she is flaking on you call her on it.

My wife used to promise sex and hint a date night would put her in the mood, but then she would get a head ache or be too tired to do anything.

So I changed the schedule. I would make reservations so she could hear me for later that week and if I didn't get any before the "date night" I would cancel because I had a head ache or I was too tired.

Its human nature try and get away with what you can and that also applies to husbands and wives.

FYI, if you tell them you are doing this they will resent it and start a fight.

good luck

Answer 4

It sounds like all you do is try to do stuff for her so you can make some time for sex. Has it ever occured to you that she just would like to spend some quiet time with you like watching a movie together or just cuddling. Really maybe it is time to ask her what she would like to do rather then putting your needs first all the time. Maybe instead of sex she would like a nice back massage or to go dancing or just to put her feet up and enjoy a nice glass of wine. She has told you it hurts maybe you are well-endowed and your thrusting to deep and causing bruising or pain to her bladder or her uterus. Remember the vagina is not all sensory tissue only the first 4-5inches past that it is like a empty tube and also rememebr that alot of women do not get pleasure from penetration alone they need clitoral stimulation maybe its time to use your tongue and stop thinking about your pleasure all the time. I hope this makes you wake-up because if you do not she will walk away from you.

God Bless and Good Luck!

Answer 5

work , school, kids ( 4 ) that would do it.
work alone is OK, school and work OK,. kids and ............ good luck! she'll be ready when the kids are gone, or you can support her while she stays home and only has the responsibility of ( 4 ) kids. maybe not. get a Nanny , a maid , a cook , and make more money. then you'll both be free to have sex again.Seriously, I'm not kidding

Answer 6

Your #1 problem is time. I would suggest that you see if you can't find someone to watch the children for a whole night. i mean over night. Have a nice dinner at a restaurant, go to a nice Hotel for the night, and if nothing else talk. Make sure you both plan this around you both not being TIRED!!!

Answer 7

It sounds like your lives are too hectic! Women need more time to "get in the mood" than men do. They need to feel relaxed, but also need emotional intimacy too! Are you guys ever going out alone? It sounds like you need to re-connect. Go out on a date once a week. Make time just for you two! She needs to be romanced, my friend. Trust me, a quickie while the kids are watching TV isn't going to be very satisfying!!

Answer 8

It could be your breath. ...or, you might need to understand that you've got yourself a woman with FOUR kids... and she understands that she doesn't need any more (nor to go thru the motions). She said it hurts? -- what are you 16? 20? (come on, that's baby stuff... and the excuses of a much younger woman than one with kids and a uterus that's seen some action). Women don't need sex, like we do.. and there's 0 build-up in them, like us. Deal with it. And what kind of a man types this nonsense into a Yahoo Answers chat-room anyway? take a hint, she doesn't want/need the sex too often... what are you looking for teen-girls or MILFs to say "awwwww" for you?

Answer 9

hmmm
u need to go on a relaxing weekend
buy some toys no dildo she may replace u with that
get ur sexual drive back up
i guess she exhausted from life

if that doesnt work shes having an affair sorry

Answer 10

Have you tried watching porno with your wife alone ? Did you and your wife get naked together ? Thought of going for a holiday but just have a room for both of you ? Some here, life is so stressful and can cause one lack of interest in sex. Relax , it is normal. I was thinking of bringing my partner for holiday so that it is relax and sex desire / craving would arise easily compared to our daily routine life.