Daughter accepted at Harvard, but wants to go to BC, Brown or Tufts instead (also accepted there).?

Question

How do I make her understand that she can do A LOT more with a Harvard degree than with a BC, Brown or Tufts degree? Those schools have great programs in humanitarian work, and I admire her for wanting to go there so she can make the world a better place, but wouldn't a Harvard degree open more doors for her to make the difference she is searching for??

Answer 1

She's a grown woman and sounds to me to be very intelligent. I think you should trust that she will make the best choice for herself/her life/ her education and her carear. You've done your job by getting her excited about life and college. Now you have to let her be an adult and support her by acknowdging that you know she'll do what's best for herself.

She is going to have to live with the choices she makes, not you. Besides it doesn't sound like any of these schools will provide her with a poor education.

I have a friend who is at Harvard now and very unhappy...All we want for our kids is for them to be happy and healthy; and we have to trust them, and trust that they know what will make them happy.

Your daughter sounds amazing. She wants to make a difference in the world...I'm pleased to know she's out there.

Answer 2

It is totally untrue that having a Harvard degree is much better than BC, Brown, or Tufts. Those three schools have an equally active and large alumni community that will open networking doors for any dedicated student. My friend similarly wants to be a humanitarian and she goes to Tufts and is doing wonderful things only as a freshman. Please stop pressuring her into Harvard. Going to a place where you are the happiest allows you to perform the best, and will help her to enjoy some of the most challenging years of her life. I am very bothered by the common misconception that Harvard is better than all other prestigious universities. It has a more recognizable name, but the education at Harvard is not measurably better than any of the other few dozen top-notch schools, three of which your daughter has also been accepted to. She's obviously a very intelligent young woman if she got into such places, and this has to be her decision ultimately. If she wants to go to one of the other three, then she probably has very good reasons for doing so, and you should ultimately trust her judgment. After all, she is an adult now that she is going off to college on her own, and however hard it may be, you need to treat her as such!

Answer 3

Those are four great schools. You are right that Harvard is the best -- in general. But doors will open for her from any of those schools. Brown is also in the Ivy League -- but offers a different kind of environment. BC is one of the best Catholic universities in the country. Tufts is a school that a lot of students would kill to get into.

What is her major? BC would be the better school for business (since Harvard doesn't offer an undergraduate degree). But Harvard will provide the mest education in most areas.

Are you paying for it? If so -- you have some leverage. If not, let her make her choice.

Answer 4

Frankly it would be a mistake to force your daughter to go to Harvard if that's not where her heart is. A degree from Brown and Tufts would be just as well respected and Boston College is a very highly regarded school as well, one of the best in the country in some departments. You should be proud of her for working so hard in high school and having the opportunity to choose from 4 elite institutions.

Also- you are falling into the trap of assuming that Harvard will offer a better education. Do some research on your own. There have been multiple reports in the news media about grade inflation in the Ivy League- Harvard Especially. People are beginning to question whether or not a Harvard Education is really worth the reputation. Many students and professors have reported that the academic rigor at schools like Harvard is surprisingly lax. In all fairness, Harvard is addressing this issue. All the same I've linked to an NPR report and an article on USA today.

I went to an excellent liberal arts college you've probably never heard of and this bias towards Ivy League institutions really bothers me.

Answer 5

Find the humanitarian program at Harvard and show her that. Truthfully, I think she'll get more real humanitarian training at Harvard than at Brown. I actually like BC, but you're right, Harvard is a good name. I'd say, though, rather than focusing on where you think she should go, try to walk through her ideas and goals and see if you can find the connection. She may just be intimidated by Harvard's name. Or she may be focused on something specific that she doesn't see at Harvard.

In my experience, Harvard has a lot of those types of things too. It's just so large that some of the really cool programs aren't as obvious there as they might be at Brown. In other words, there's probably much more cool stuff at Harvard, but the few cool things at Brown are promoted more because there's not as much to talk about.

Answer 6

She has to decide which course of study will advance her PARTICULAR career the most. Snob value is OK but not the last word. Also a school where she may not be comfortable won't help her learn and thrive. Both of you have to rethink this from that perspective.

Answer 7

don't be foolish. brown is a very solid school and may suit her interests better. BC is okay depending on interest but offers very little in the way of campus (until you're a senior)

Answer 8

Harvard is extremely selective interior the scholars they %. on account that they merely prevalent 6% of the scholars you utilized final year, turning down many 4.0 GPA's. yet i will see you getting prevalent because of the fact of your greater curriculars, and your 750 VH. yet like I pronounced Harvard is extremely selective, and it additionally depands on the sector/branch interior the college you're appling for. desire this enables, and that i desire you the excellent of success =]

Answer 9

She needs to think of what she would like to become when she gets out of college, then all she has to do is decide on which college is the best for the job she wishes to have!!

Answer 10

BC and Brown are also Ivy league schools..you act like she wants to go to trad school or something.
A Harvard degree will open your WALLET more than anything else. the program is more important than the schools name for some things. be happy your daughter is so good that she has choices, and then let *her* make them.