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My wife and I have had our fair share of problems in our marriage. I am 23 and she is 22, her family lives in a different state that mine. I'll admit I've been the cause of ALOT of our arguements and problems. She went to visit family and we got into an arguement and she said she wanted to split up. I've been trying for 6 weeks to get her to come back but says shes not sure if she can take the chance of things turning out the same way again between us. I've been trying my hardest to convince her that I can change and our marriage can work. I'm so scared of being alone and having to start over again. I don't know how I will handle it if we divorce. I've mentioned coming to see her, but I don't think she wants that. I'm just so worried about all of this. I need some help/advice/support. Thanks everyone.

2007-04-05 07:01:09 · 13 answers · asked by Jon 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

13 answers

I didn't see where you said you loved her, only you don't want to be alone. That isn't a good reason to stay married. You have to change and let her see it, not by just saying you have. Actions speak louder than words. If you truly love your wife than yes go visit her and let her see the change. Don't beg that only seems to make it work. You said you were the cause of most of the problems, sometimes we don't realize what we have until we lose it, but you only should want to save the marriage if you love her.

2007-04-05 07:09:54 · answer #1 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0 0

Call her up and make an excellent apology. Here's how. Tell her exactly what you did that was wrong, tell her what was wrong with it, apologize sincerely and lengthily for it, and tell her that you're never going to do it again (repent). Repeat until you have gone through all the different things you did wrong. Keep the focus on yourself, and give her a detailed, thorough apology. If she tries to shift the focus to her role, stop her and tell her that this conversation is about your need to apologize. Once you have apologized, tell her you love her and that you hope that she can find it in her heart someday, somehow, to forgive you, and that you hope that you can be worthy of her forgiveness. Then, politely end the conversation.

Unless you have committed grievous harm, your words of apology will turn around her attitude and she will express, within a few days, a willingness to let you prove yourself.

Warning: this method is effective, but it will only work if you are sincere!

2007-04-05 14:11:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You are scared of being alone. That is not a reason to stay married. You never said you love her so much and miss her so much that your heart hurts, only that you are scared and you might not be able to handle a divorce, which explains why you married so young.

She isn't your mother. She realizes about you what you don't realize about yourself and she is right to split up. Sorry buddy, but you need to be on your own for a while and mature.

I know it hurts, but fear always means that something big is about to happen and believe it or not, change is always good.

PS if you wait for God to help you, then you are going to die alone. He has more important things to do than interfere with your life and anyone who thinks they are the center of God's attention, even for a second, is one self centered and egotistical person who should take a really good long look at what they are laying at God's feet.

2007-04-05 14:07:00 · answer #3 · answered by Liligirl 6 · 0 1

Your both barely old enough to drink but you have already "had your fair share of problems". Sounds like this is a rocky marriage at best, if she wants out let her go, you cant make her stay in a relationship she no longer wants. You are soooooo young - you will be fine on your own - most people your age are in school and single, you will find someone else I am sure.

2007-04-05 14:07:34 · answer #4 · answered by jillmarie2000 5 · 1 1

You all forgot about the marriage vows "For better For worse " that's why these things happen you both need to compromise and negotiate and always communicate we don't marry one another to become a parent to each other. Get it right and fix it and grow up marriage is a journey of two people learning, living and loving together.

2007-04-05 14:11:12 · answer #5 · answered by bustnloose_2000 3 · 0 0

Grow up . You are what you are why do you have to be what a woman wants you to be its not going to work .Your just going to go back to what you where and maybe its not a bad thing . You need to fined a person that can relate to you and you her . Stop trying to be what your not its a useless game that fools play and a waste of time for the 2 of you .Let it go

2007-04-05 14:10:01 · answer #6 · answered by dad 6 · 0 0

Sounds kind of like you are more afraid of being alone than wanted to be with her. If you really want her show her by explaining your insecurities and that she really is the one you want forever. If you are just afraid of being alone, you need to be alone for a while and realize that there will be times that you will be alone (you came into the world alone and you will leave it that way.)

2007-04-05 14:07:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

You need to ask yourself if you really want to work on your marriage or if you are afraid of being alone? Your real motive will determine the success of your marriage...

2007-04-05 14:16:45 · answer #8 · answered by Sweetness 2 · 0 0

Are you scared of being alone or losing your wife? Seriously, figure out what's wrong -- get some help -- show your wife you're a changed man and then MAYBE she'll come home.

2007-04-05 14:05:23 · answer #9 · answered by retropink 5 · 1 1

You have to make the effort. Go visit her. You will not convince her you are going to change. You have to admit to her that you realize you were the problem and that you are going to try and be a better "husband"!

2007-04-05 14:05:18 · answer #10 · answered by John 2 · 1 1

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