this woman who lives near me complains all the time even?

Question

about petty things to the council, she watches me come in and out and has no friends at all even thouth she tries to be friends with everyone. Someone said to me something has happened to her in her past made her like that, i don,t know what they mean. she makes me feel miserable alot

Answer 1

People like that are sad. When she says something negative counteract it with something positive. Neg people don't like to be around positive people. But if you want to stay in good with her for whatever reason maybe you could bake her some cookies, get on her good side. Maybe she just needs someone to be nice to her even if she's not.

Answer 2

Well, either do all you can to avoid encountering her, or move. Really, mate. Unless you're willing to take the time to talk to her and get to know what it is that upsets her so, my guess is that she's hurting and the solitude isn't helping, then leave her be. If you care enough, go take her to coffee and find out what is on her mind. I doubt that it will take her long to tell you, I think she's ready to burst and having an ear would be most kind of you, and at the very least you'll know, and that should alleviate your misery. Understanding makes one feel a lot less miserable! Good luck!

Answer 3

I think at this point, you should invite her over one day with some of the other neighbors and if not make friends with her, try to at least come to some kind of understanding. "Say something like, "hey, _______, since we are neighbors, it would be great if we could all get along, so we want to give everyone a chance to clear the air, and then maybe we can start over". If this does not work, let her know you are all going to report her to the council as a troublemaker, and get your other neighbors to back this up.

Answer 4

It all boils down to one thing - Misery loves company. I do believe that something has happened to her in her past. Something she has not forgiven neither herself nor whoever did it to her for. She's miserable and needs to know that someone else besides her is. Your best defense - DO NOT GIVE HER THE SATISFACTION. KILL HER WITH KINDNESS. Think and say only good things about and to her, believe me it works. It will be difficult at first but it becomes easier the more you do it.

STOP letting HER and YOUR emotions CONTROL you. Get a hold of yourself. If you choose to be miserable then you will be, if you choose otherwise then so will you be also. Change your entire outlook and thoughts on this.

Pray hard - pray for the very best for her and pray for the strength, patience, fortitude and whatever else you need to get through this, then go and DO IT!!

Good luck to you!

Answer 5

i live in malta, which is a very small island, and everyone knows everyone. tons of my neighbours are like that, and for us it is extremely normal you have peeping eyes when going out.

all i do is i just smile at the person, and if they need to argue a bit about the local council or anything, i would at least let her talk for five minutes then tell her i need to leave so that she doesnt rely on you for everythin. but a small chat never hurt anyone, maybe she just feels a bit lonely sometimes... everyone does, and sometimes strangers offer the best company, cause you dont need to justify if your behaviour is not as normal as usual

Answer 6

She is obviously lonely. Why don't you take the time and speak to her. Loneliness is a terrible thing it plays with peoples mind and twists them into not being very nice people. She needs to find herself again she has got lost in her own wee world how sad there are millions of people this happens to. Everybody needs somebody to talk too. Good Luck GO ON BE THE GOOD Samaritan...........

Answer 7

There is a certain type of personality that must feel needed. (in Keirsey Bates they are called guardians, or SJs). The guardian type has to feel like they belong to a society, like they are making a difference, that they are important, that they are needed. You neighbor sounds like a guardian who has no outlet, has no other way to feel needed and important and part of a society, except by complaining about you and her other neighbors. It makes her feel important, that she is helping society by making you comform to the rules. She doesn't understand that living by rules doesn't make everyone else happy the way it makes her happy. She doesn't realize her complaining, which is her way of trying to excuse what feels like her uselessness, is so incredibly annoying to everyone else.

If you want her to stop, you have to find other ways to make her feel important and part of a society, make her feel like she is making a difference. Being just her neighbor, I think it is a bigger job than just you could do. But at least you know why she is the way she is.

See my first link for more on the guardian personality type.

The rest of my evaluation of what is going on comes from reading the book in the second link.

Answer 8

Just try not to let her make you miserable. The woman is maybe suffering from something medical. Be nice to her in the passing.

Answer 9

Buy her a bunch of flowers and go and say hello. Then next week ask her if she needs anything. Then the week after that offer to go to the shops and the week after that just pop in to say hello. By this time she won't be watching you, she will be watching the neighbours to see if they are watching this kind person in her street.
Sorted!!!

Answer 10

It sounds like she is a lonely woman with nothing to do with her time but watch what the neighbors do. Try smiling at her sometime and maybe she'll be nicer to you. I hate nosy neighbors but all you can do is put up with them and not make them mad so they stay off your back and out of your business.