i am 21 and my man is 29 we are in sincerely love for the past 5 years. we both are indians.we both had sex many times.(our indian custom is if somebody had sex with someone they should not marry others, except that guy)now, i am in a very bad position.my family willnever accept our love in any case.so i told my guy that its not possible for me to him.he became very bad.he told me that he cannot think of a life without me at any cost.so he is telling me that"no problem,let us commit suicide,because we cannot live together.i cannot live with you,so let us die" like this he is telling me.he has got his own responsibilities of taking care of his family and so i. now he is calling me to commit suicide..friends,i am so depressed..he is madly in love with me and so i but my position is very bad.he either wants to live with me or he is calling me to commit suicide.please help me..how to handle him.(he loves me very badly)
2007-04-05 05:08:00 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
"our indian custom is if somebody had sex with someone they should not marry others, except that guy".... Where did you get that from. That's not an Indian custom. Indian customs is - "Ssay no to sex before marriage."
You fell in love with this guy 5 years ago, when you were 16. Off course at that age one is nopt wise enough to look at future prospects and plan thing. But since both of you love each other, you gotta find a way out. Convince your parents. Prove that you are wise enough to make your own decisions. Win their trust.
I bet you haven't yet confronted your parents. YOu are assuming that your family won't accept your love, and you are scared to confront them. The final decision is upto you. I suggest you should give it a try.
All the best...
:-)
2007-04-05 15:49:52 · answer #1 · answered by plato's ghost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No doubt that you are in a very difficult position.
First of all, do u trust yourself & your love? Or is it that you guys are just attracted to each other? If you r dead sure about the genuinity of your love than you shouldn't bother about anything else but your love 'coz true love is extremely hard to find. Family will understand you as time passes by, suicide will gain you guys nothing but grief & sorrow for your family & friends, suicide is not a solution. Suicide is a sign of cowardice. If there ain't any problems & struggles in Life then there is no point of living it, facing problems is a very much part of this life. You can run from the problems but you can't hide. Suicide is running from problems but if you do so your family will face an even more grave problem. They will understand your situation with time & I am sure u don't want your family to suffer becoz of your problems.
Of course if you trust your love that is.
Hope You listen to my advice & it serves & helps you.
All the best, but suicide would be utter foolishness.
2007-04-05 05:21:00 · answer #2 · answered by Akaash 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suicide is the most selfish thing a person can do. Get angry at him. How dare he complicate YOUR situation this way. IF he truly loved you he would be supportive of your situation. He would figure out a way to make it easier for you, EVEN if he loses you because of. You are Young, and passion can seem overwhelming, but think clearly about what is going on. YOU HAVE A PROBLEM, HE DOES NOT WANT TO HELP YOU WITH THIS PROBLEM!. He wants to give you more problem by demanding what he THINKS he wants. Yea, he wants you, but does he NEED you and more importantly, do you really NEED him? if the answer is yes, go to your tribal elders and GET HELP. And get this guy to stop acting like a freaking baby and grow up.
2007-04-05 05:17:03 · answer #3 · answered by jordan_smith@sbcglobal.net 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Its really very nice to hear that someone loves you so dearly. Congrats. You can prove it to your parents that how much you love each other and try to convince your parents and tell them frankly what your guy has offered to you. May be your parents agree to you and LOVE DOES WIN. Dont end your life full of love, its precious. Make your man also understand the value of time and go ahead for Court marriage. After you have kids, your parents will accept your relationship. My friend too did the same. She too had the same problem and now they all are happy, specially her mom for choosing the right lovable husband.
2007-04-05 05:19:19 · answer #4 · answered by keentoknow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
even though i am 17 i can still help you now hear is the best way to deal with this situation. Sit down and have a 1on1 talk about it tell him there is no way you are going to comit suicied and that if he realy loved you then he will not make you . Easy as it goes and good luck got to go bye
2007-04-05 07:06:59 · answer #5 · answered by hanna j 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. do not do that!As your religion is Indian, re you hoping for a re carnation to be born with him as your partner in your next life. It won't happen dear as you re forcing death against nature!If he sincerely loves you and you have the trust in him that he can be able enough to support you in all health and wealth in terms of joy and sorrow, go and speak to his parents .You have not written that his parents are against it .Either one shall oblige in terms of the children's future,If that is not happening,you both re adults and have already engaged yourself in premarital sex knowing the consequences so face up for the music.Both of you did not commit sucide when you both were doing was immorally wrong, so why now?My advice is go and tap on resources such as his parents , relatives or yours!Someone must be there for you both.Keep on knocking till the results re exhausted!WHY give up before you have tried.
2007-04-05 05:17:59 · answer #6 · answered by cool_honeybabe 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You and ur friend should meet your family members and try to convince them about how happy you both are together. If need be, take the help of some common friends or relatives. But dont commit suicide as it is the biggest SIN!
2007-04-05 05:46:39 · answer #7 · answered by anil m 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Linda, thanks for coming to Y!A with your question. Do not commit suicide or any other harmful act against yourself nor anyone else. If I am correct, Indian culture does not accept violence against anything, so you must not dishonor you nor your family by harming yourself.
Your man is being overly dramatic and is trying to force you into emotional submission. HE IS TRYING TO CONTROL YOU at this time, either consciously or not, BUT DON'T FALL FOR THIS.
Consult your parents, brothers or sisters and discuss this with them and ask for their help.
Good Luck
2007-04-05 05:21:33 · answer #8 · answered by snvffy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you said it.... he loves me very badly.
Anyone in love wants the other person to be happy, not dead.
You should speak with a councellor, they will be able to help you decide what is right.
Don't let anyone tell you what to do with your life. YOU live it, not them.
Take care of you
2007-04-05 13:03:11 · answer #9 · answered by aawatson3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello sister ,
first leave this idea of suicide.make ur lover also to leave this idea.you can create a life with ur lover and u r also able to think well about his responsibilities to his family.we people have no rights to commit suicide.as u hd sex with him,u ought to marry him.and u also love him....you r mechurd.you must think very well calmly.you and ur lover should talk about this. please leave the idea of sucide....then also if you are not able to take a good decision,then both of u dont feel shy to undergo councilling....there are lots n lots of ways to lead life...then why to commit suicide?think,my dear sister......
2007-04-05 05:21:12 · answer #10 · answered by saran 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋