i need a listening ear?

Question

hi. i'm a decent, ordinary, attractive girl that comes from a fine family. i just turned 20 but i fell rather empty in my life. I feel really empty inside me and there's no excitement in my life as everything i do is kinda repetitive. What can i do to make my life more exciting, fun and interesting?

Answer 1

Each of us are gifted in some way.
You must use your gift.
Offer your knowledge, skills, and abilities to others.
Find the thing that you are most passionate about and pursue it with reckless abandon.
If you are concerned about the environment--Go Green!
If you are concerned about humanity--work in human services.
If you enjoy The Arts--work for your local Arts Council.
If you love children--work as a Teacher or an Assistant.
If you are politically oriented--work for the candidate of your choice.
Remember to be kind to yourself. Always let your deepest and most profound love be self-love.
Finding your path maybe difficult and obstacles may present themselves.
However, your success will not be measured by the position you hold, but by the obstacles you've overcome.
Find your passion--become passionate--believe, achieve, and succeed!

Answer 2

There's an old Chinese blessing that goes "May you never live in interesting times." In other words, we should strive to appreciate those periods in our lives when things seem dull; not all "excitement" is of the positive variety.

That said, and if you don't already, READ. Not the pappy pop stuff all the girls at the gym are reading, read good literature (and that isn't limited to dusty old classics, new works of importance are being published all the time). If you're already a reader, then veer outside your comfort zone and try something new, even if you think you won't like it at first.

Next, volunteer. There must be a few charitable organizations in your area that would be delighted to have you, whether you're helping little kids in an after school art class, packing used books for shipment to underprivileged schools or simply tending the cash register at some little church's Thrift Shop. "Hanging out with friends" or shopping won't fill that emptiness you feel, but delivering meals to the home-bound or just visiting with the senior citizens at your local retirement home surly will (and those old geezers have a LOT to offer by way of wisdom, not to mention some hysterical and illuminating stories from their own, long lives).

Start collecting.

You must have an interest or an eye for something, be it ceramic frogs or antique photographs or vintage hats. This sort of thing doesn't have to be expensive at all: just spend a pleasant afternoon scouting out area Junk Shops and Salvation Army Stores, you'll be surprised at what you might find and, in many cases, you can take it home for pocket change. Collections of ANYthing are interesting, and you can have fun hunting down new additions and displaying them (not to mention making a fine profit on eBay if you ever decide to move on).

Try internet dating. Not all the most interesting guys live within a five mile radius of your home.

Ever wanted to lean how to draw? How to scuba dive, weld iron or dance a 17th century waltz? There are small colleges, informal classes at WMCA's and community centers that will have some new learning opportunities you just might like.

Finally, and in general, challenge yourself. Whether that involves studying a martial art, trying new foods or simply taking a different route home from work.

Because in the end, we're only as bored, and as "empty", as we want to be.

PS: If you can't seem to find the energy or motivation to make some fresh horizons possible, you may be suffering from depression. This isn't just a "funk" or passing "mood", it can be a very serious clinical condition. Even if you only suspect this may be the case, see a professional. Your usual MD is a good starting point.

Answer 3

Just to let you know every young person goes through these feelings. Take up a sport, find a hobbie, make plans with friends to do something none of you have done. Eventually it too will become repetitive, but if you like to do it or be around those people you will always have a great time. Find those things that make you feel good and set aside some time for them.

Answer 4

Look for new hobbies and new adventures. At this age I was still in college and I started going on trips with the Outdoor adventures group. I had never done any camping and wouldn't have even considered myself the outdoorsy type until my first trip camping and kayaking with them. I loved it and it brought about a brand new perspective on things b/c here was something that I had never expected to want to do, but I opened myself up and tried it, and loved it. Now I'm never afraid to try anything at least once. I've been skydiving which is an awesome experience, rockclimbing, ride motorcycles, and now I'm training for my 1st triathlon.

Seek spirituality or a high power. I'm not sure if you are religious but working to improve my relationship with God gave me more perspective and outlook on life.

Getting involved in something like training for a 5k, a marathon, or a triathlon can really change you too. You meet new people, find new inner strength and meaning, and for some go about changing your life in a whole new exciting way.

Everybody does get that way at least once in their life. My motto is "I'll try anything at least once without predjudice as long as it doesn't go against my beliefs or demoralizes me in anyway."

Answer 5

Start spending your time helping other people. There's lots of ways--from volunteering to read to elderly people to working for a political candidate you respect to helping out in an abused women's shelter--and about a thousand other things.

You'l find that making a positive difference in people's lives will give you a sense of purpose and meaning. And that nothing else will.

What course you will take in your work and life will vary--you may be an artist, or an engineer, or whatever. But if your worked is focused on making things better, it will matter. Look at Bill Gates and warren Buffet--the two wealthiest people in the world--and in history. Both are taking the bulk of their fortunes and using them to help others.

Answer 6

Hey Joey!
The late teens and early 20's are a rough period - almost like a second adolescence! You're not a kid anymore, but you're not really considered an adult. When I went through that phase, I turned to volunteering to help me fill the void. First, I volunteered at the Neo-Natal unit in my local hospital - basically just holding, rocking, and feeding sick babies. Then it blossomed into doing arts & crafts in the children's ward & visiting the lonely, elderly patients. Then group homes, battered womens shelters, even animal shelters.
Volunteering may not be the type of excitement & fun you're looking for, but it brings fun and excitement to other people! Giving back to the community and helping people in need is rewarding beyond explanation!
Good luck to you!

Answer 7

You started by defining yourself as a 'decent', 'ordinary' and attractive girl from a fine family. I guess thats whats bugging you. You defined yourself as 'normal' when you actually want to be different!

We all live based on a set of core belief systems. These belief systems determine the type of person we become.

It determines our academic pursuits, career, relationships etc... Unfortunately we usually just adopt beliefs from other people based on what is 'normal' instead of creating our own beliefs.

Ur probably a very 'subconsciously aware' person coz your subconscious mind is starting to question your belief systems (which you have adopted from your parents, friends, society etc..) You're subconscious is telling you that if you live your life based on these belief systems you'll become just like the other people who adopted these core belief systems. Now, these 'other people' may be happy living their lives they way they do but deep down inside you don't want the same life that they live.

And you're subconscious is challenging the belief systems you have adopted because it knows that those belief systems won't help you get to where you want to go. (become the person you want to become).

You're question is a manifestation of this conflict within you. Now, the answer to your question is not simple. You're going to have to question your belief system. An easy way to do that is to identify the parts of your life that you are most unhappy with and to ask yourself why it is so. For example if you're unhappy with your academic pursuits ask urself why? It could be because subconsciously u know that what ur pursuing academically wont help you achieve what you want to truly become. (It could be something as simple as you studying at a medical school because you've been taught to belief that it's the safer choice when in fact you want to study journalism which is a riskier academic path).

If your belief systems are in line with what you desire then you'll be happy living your life even if its repetitive mundane activities.

I hope i haven't strayed too far off target with this answer. But i hope it helps!

Answer 8

Find things that you are good at and enjoying doing. Make time for them in your life. Join a program for ex. if you like to swim, take classes. Volunteering also is very fullfilling. Be spontaneous. Promise yourself to do things out of the ordinary. Be spontaneous, dont hold back. I am the same age and I feel the same way. I try to do things I wouldnt usually do. Pull yourself out of your comfort zone and explore the world.

Answer 9

A great poet once wrote:

"Most [people] lead lives of quiet desperation." You have basically hit this definition. We don't really have exciting lives. We're not going to be movie stars or famous writers or any of that. So what we have to do to get by is to find something which excites us and live for that.

Find a hobby, join a club, join an online group. Attend Church and find a group of like minded adults who you like to hang out with. Form your own group based on something you enjoy. (Movies, Athletics, Sports, jigsaw puzzles, book reading) Once you find people with like interests, your life becomes more interesting.

Answer 10

Find a church that you can attend and become involved with activities through the church. Developing a relationship with Jesus will fill the emptiness in your soul. And you will have plenty of excitement but even better, peace and contentment.