How did you get past this hurdle in your own divorce?
2007-04-05 04:56:09 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the pain and confusion that I saw in my children's eyes. The guilt knowing that I put them in the middle of an adult issue they had absolutely no control over.
I reminded myself that the do not understand the reasons now, but when they get older they will see that I did the best thing possible for me and for them.
2007-04-05 05:00:57 · answer #1 · answered by NolaDawn 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I agree to most the other peoples replies. I think the hardest for my divorce is not having someone around. You lose your best friend. The person that knew you the most and loved you at one point. The person that you shared so many memories, good and bad, and the person that stuck by you on some of the most hardest times in your life. Coming home to a house that is empty that once had your companion there. The evening hours after supper is fixed and you try to fill in the void hoping the hours will pass quickly so you can fall asleep alone just to wake up and start the process over again. And then once your ready and sometimes when your not ready to try dating and meeting those that seem to have your best interests in hand but really don't makes you long for the companionship you had with your ex though there were many reasons why you divorced in the first place that you don't miss.
How do I do it? I have a beautiful 5 year old daughter that is everything to me and I have the love and grace of God that keeps me strong and pushes me through it.
Ok done rambling. Hope makes sense. Oh by the way, divorced almost 8 months but separated almost 1 year.
2007-04-05 05:11:39 · answer #2 · answered by a_dollier 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
This is a question that has two answers.
1) The hardest emotional part of a divorce is feeling like a failure as a wife and a woman. Getting your self-esteem back is difficult and can be painful. I did it by resolving not to become bitter, to be grateful for all the good things that had come from our marriage, and to think only kind thoughts about my former husband and the new opportunities the divorce brought me. It was slow but it worked.
2) The other hardest part of divorce is the decrease in standard of living, or the poverty, that many women experience. Fight hard to make sure you have adequate income, health insurance, child support if applicable, maintenance and any other financial benefits, whether from your own job, the divorce settlement, etc. Men generally earn more than women, especially if she is a single parent after the divorce, and women usually take the brunt of financial losses after a divorce. Men will disagree with this but statistics prove it. Think ahead and be tough to keep you and your children above the poverty level. I didn't do this and learned the hard way.
2007-04-05 05:08:39 · answer #3 · answered by Mother Amethyst 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think the hardest part of divorce is that most people do not realize it is a death. It is a death of a life, a dream. You have to go through all the mourning stages you would if a person died. You have to allow yourself to do that. To feel like crying to feel sad to feel angry and disappointed. You need to allow for time. When the time comes that you have moments of feeling better, involve yourself in your family, friends. Get involved with volunteering. Seeing and helping others in need, make you see a new focus. That things happen to everyone. But living is a blessing, and you can see that better when helping others. It will help you meet new people and regain some lost self esteem. It is a hard time, but light is always at the end of the tunnel
good luck
2007-04-05 05:07:39 · answer #4 · answered by debbie v 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I thought the hardest part of my divorce was feeling like I failed. In life, you always hear of the fairy tale marriage, where everything is perfect, and if it's not perfect, your love will conquer anything that comes your way. I quickly realized that love isn't all powerful, and there are things in life that love just can't survive. I am now a happy single woman who is excited to start my new journey and appreciate everything that I do have in my life and know that you cannot control all aspects of your life but you still need to have fun and put yourself out there sometimes. I think that knowing my marriage and my divorce made me a stronger person and who I am today made everything ok. I never look at anything as a mistake, only as a learning. Good luck sweetheart!!
2007-04-05 05:09:58 · answer #5 · answered by Chiquita 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Before I decided to end the marriage, I knew the hardest part would be financial. I didnt make that much money at the time, but it was a great job with great benefits. I knew it would be hard to keep up with all the bills plus take care of 2 boys, but I knew it was what I had to do. It was hard, even with child support. But it didnt matter. I had to get out of the marriage, so I did what I had to do. How did I get passed the hurdle? I just did. I just jumped over it and continued on.
2007-04-05 05:07:19 · answer #6 · answered by an88mikewife 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The hardest part of a divorce is getting back on your feet. Getting a job and getting a place and such. If you already have a job then you are already a step ahead.
Also if there are kids involved having to see him and have the kids go away was hard, but then when I got in the swing and realized that when the kids were with him I could go out and meet other adults and move on. I was ok.
I really think it depends on where you stand in the decision of the divorce. I was ready to be rid of him. Are you ready to be rid of him?
2007-04-05 05:02:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I didn't experience it but I see my friends undergoing it. For one it is the raising up of children as a single parent. For another, it is the pain to submit to the divorce when one feels the reason asked by her partner is unreasonable. On the other way round, divorce might be the better solution because of physical and moral survival. This means when ones partner is dangerous to the safety of the wife.
2007-04-05 05:07:07 · answer #8 · answered by Binnus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accepting the fact that you have to move on and realize he does not want you. Rejection is the hardest part of it all. So basically do things to make yourself feel and look great. Keep a heavy social schedule and remind yourself you are the best. No turning back.
2007-04-05 06:22:25 · answer #9 · answered by mikellalvarado 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did my own divorce and the hardest part for me was understanding the legal jargon. And the second hardest part was waiting 6 months for it to come through. I hate waiting!!!
2007-04-05 05:12:30 · answer #10 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think the hardest part for us women is we think of the good things to much , and forget about the bad , we have to be strong and realise why we got divorced in the first place
2007-04-05 05:00:04 · answer #11 · answered by dawn p 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋