about child support help please?

Question

me and my ex have two boys together and we split up about five months ago. i have been giving her money for support towards our kids. she lives in indiana and i'm in michigan. there IS NOT a court order for support. she is going for state aid. my question is can i be in violation of back support or does there have to be a court order in place first? i don't want to go to jail for giving the money to her instead of the court but, we aren't in the court system yet. how does this work?

Answer 1

No you cant be in violation of back child support if you haven't been court ordered to pay. Also anything you give her is a gift because you haven't been court ordered to pay. I would save your money orders or checks to prove I have been sending money for the children. If she receives help from the state without telling them shes receiving money from you she can get into big big trouble. Don't listen to these other ppl you cant cant into trouble for not paying what you haven't been ordered to pay. If you re not paying as much as the court would order then when the court orders you to pay it will just be a higher amount. You don't have to prove you paid from the time you separated either, you WONT court order! Everything you send money, clothes, gifts etc are GIFTS! until you or her have a court order. The person telling you until 5 mouths ago you both had custodial rights is wrong, until one of you gets an order from the court you both have the same rights as parents. You could take your children without a order and not give them back and there's nothing she can do about it. You have equal rights to your children until a judge says otherwise.

Answer 2

whether there is a court order or not, support needs to be made. however you are going to benefit by having the order because it states exactly what should be paid, therefore you aren't paying more than you should. Unless however, she is accepting less than what you should be paying. Each state may be different, check into the state your children are living as it will go by her state, not yours. It is usually a percentage of the gross and the percentage is by the number of kids. As far as you going to jail, well, if it is brought into court, they will back date the owed support to the time you two split, so pay now or later, makes no difference except that it builds up and hurts you and your kids in the long run. The support is for your ex to use for your kids. This doesn't just mean clothing, etc, but electricity, fuel, water, etc, because lets face it they use these things also. If you stop paying you won't be in violation, and when it is taken into court, she will get money back again to the date you stopped paying. And remember this child support money you send is supporting your children.

Answer 3

No. You cannot go to jail or get in any trouble much less go to jail if there is not an order to pay child support. Before 5 months ago you were a custodial parent as well. What could happen depending on the state that you live in is you may be required to pay back some of the money that she gets each month for being on assistance. But I think that is only if she requests court ordered child support.

Answer 4

You will be assed back support once the court order goes in effect unless you can provide documentation that you have been giving her money - like money order receipts, cancelled checks, signed letters from her, etc.
depending on her state's regulations, you may also end up having to reimburse the state for any medical expenses incurred while your children receive aid or for any point during the relationship that they received state help.
I've been through this - it sucks... the state I live in has some pretty harsh support laws in effect once everythings gone through the system. It will be easier if you two are still on speaking terms and she can let the courts know that you have been providing support.
You can always call your local social service office - they can help talk you through the process. Good Luck!

Answer 5

You danced the dance... now pay the band. Even if you are currently not under an order to pay support, the amount you owe will be calculated from the time you split up. Going through the system will at least determine the proper amount of support. Be prepared to hire an attorney, and get your wallet out. Also be aware that in most states support must continue as long as the child is still in school... this includes college,vocational, technical schools. Your obligation does not end at 18 years old, like most people think.

Answer 6

Does she give you receipts or do you pay by check. You will need proof you pay her, otherwise the state will come after you when she files for state aid. As far as back support, you would not be in violation since there is nothing court ordered yet.

Answer 7

You can give her money any time you want or don't want right now because there is no court order. Your obligation to pay support is not in effect UNTIL the order is signed and served. It is your obligation however to provide support to her and the children, so continue to do so if possible. You can also request a written receipt from her if it makes you feel better, but legally it does not matter.

Answer 8

If there is no court order, you have nothing to be violation of.
I would pay her in check form from now on, just so you have proof that you have been making an attempt at supporting your children.

Answer 9

If your paying child support on your own, then that's a good thing. You won't go to jail for taking care of you're responsibility. Just make sure that you keep a bank record or send her a check so you have proof just in case she decides to go to court later and say you never payed.

Answer 10

The laws very state by state, but usually you cannot get in trouble for not paying if there was no court order in place. In Cali, she can't even get back support of there was no court order in place.