If a man is impotent and viagra is not an option, does he still get aroused? What would he feel/want sexually?

Question

My boyfriend is impotent, but unless he has an operation to remove his tubes and have an implant, he can only get half an erection. Consequently we have no physical contact in any sexual form, which is frustrating for me. I have offered to have sex with another woman in front of him, to masterbate in front of him, offered to do anything for him, but he says that he feels nothing and he he doesn't want us to be physical as it is not fair for me to get aroused and then not be satisfied. He has some porn movies, which I am happy to watch with him, but he says he doesn't use them anymore and only did when he was single. I am desparate to understand what he is feeling, whether he does get aroused, to find out what I can do for him. Obviously it is a subject which hurts and frustrates us both and although ulitmately for us to sort out I would like some input from other men who have this problem. I think he is worth hanging onto.

Answer 1

Erectile dysfunction does not mean that you don't get aroused. It simply means that you have trouble getting erections. Your boyfriend still gets sexual desires. So he is actually going through much the same thing you are. Unable to satisfy the same urges that you feel. I can only imagine how he feels. I would suggest looking into eastern style sexual techniques. There are many styles based around non-coital intercourse. For example, I have induced a few orgasms in my ex-girlfriends through nipple stimulation. The Kama Sutra may be a start. Just a thought.

Answer 2

If sex is not terribly important to you and you value him for other reasons, you don't need our permission to "hang on." But it doesn't sound like you're going to have much of a sex life with him.

My uncle is impotent, but he tells anyone he can corner that he still masturbates every day anyway, even though he can't get erect enough for regular sex. But your boyfriend, unlike my horny uncle, seems to have no interest in sex, not just erectile problems. It sounds like he has seen a doctor--were his testosterone levels checked?

Can you be happy living without sexual contact? Only you can decide that. I wish you luck.