Is it my fault my little bro's like this?

Question

In my (large) family all of us kids stand out for one reason or another: Noah the baby, Zoe the dancer, Jake the skateboarder, Kyle Mr. Science Geek, Maddy the adorable pre-schooler, the twins, Sylvee the drama queen, and me, the sarcastic teenager. We all have our different personalities except for Jason, the 7 yo ordinary oddball of the family. He's really shy and most of the time you don't even realize he's there. Some of the other kids leave him out of stuff (not necessarily on purpose) and I'll admit to telling him a few times to but t out when I'm busy, but lately he's not his "come home do homework and chores then go outside and (try to) shoot hoops till dinnertime" self. He doesn't smile as much, or try to make up corny jokes that aren't even funny and nobody laughs at anymore. Also, he won't even pick up a basketball (but i think that's because everybody but our family tells him he's horrible at it). Can 7 yo get depressed? How can I help him?

i'm not labeling my family, everybody else is. that's who we're known as by our neighbors, they don't even use our names, just "the skateboarder, the dancer, the baby". it gets really annoying.

hey, jake isn't the only one who skateboards in our family, i do to. do you think Jace would like to learn how to skateboard. i used to play basketball too, would he like it if i showed him some stuff?

Answer 1

First of all, you should stop labelling everyone in your family. Just try to accept him for who he is and spend some time with him. You should voice your concerns to your parents.

Answer 2

I'm so sorry that your family has all been labeled with labels that are not very productive, for the most part. Jason doesn't even know who he IS, in his family role, I'm afraid. People DO react to labels. What happens when the preschooler isn't adorable preschooler, anymore. (just an example).
Do help your brother out by showing him some moves you know. Whether the 'moves' are learned by him or not, doesn't matter. What matters is that you are paying attention to him, and that's what he needs. No one likes to be the 'invisable' one..........and it sounds as if that is his 'role'. Everyone needs attention and show of love. I'm glad your family did not label you, and I wish you'd all decide to change your neighborhood labels and have NAMES told to neighbors on a constant basis. In your family's case, I'd go so far as to have my children wear NAME tags for the neighbors! But, that isn't going to happen. Please, be aware that you are really the nice person you are, who takes the time to notice that Jason isn't getting personal attention, enough to allow him to realize he is important. Play with him. Walk with him. Introduce him as 'My brother, Jason"...............and, you could even call him, 'Brother" if that makes him feel connected, more. (My grandson is 5, and he calls his brother, "Brother" all the time. He calls everyone else by name, but, Brother" is very important to him, and that's what he calls him.
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Answer 3

It's not your fault he feels lost in the crowd and not special in some way. But you can help. You could make a point to spend time with him, and have your parents take one-on-one time with him too. He is different than the rest of you - in that he is shy, inept at sports, etc. Try to help him find where he shines, he has to have something he excels at or is interested in - he just needs some encouragement.

Answer 4

Yes, he could be depressed. And it really sounds like something else is going on here. Is it possible he's getting bullied at school, or something like that? It's very important that he feel a part of everything and that he feels valued. Take the time to do things with him, like play basketball. And your parents need to figure out why he is so withdrawn, something serious could be going on in his life, something that might need to be fixed, like if he's being bullied, or treated, like if he has depression.

Answer 5

Yes Sweetie, even 7 years old can get depressed. Maybe your brothers and sisters need to encourage him to participate and try to include him in some things you all do.

Could there be anything happening at school? Is he afraid of his teacher or a bully?

Answer 6

It's most certainly not your fault that he's like this. But yes, I believe he could be depressed. At that age I was already thinking about suicide, so don't take it too casually. Voice your concerns with your parents (I wouldn't to him though, not just yet, coming from someone who was in his shoes) and then try to spend more time with him and focus on his great qualities and of course tell him all about them!

He's very lucky to have you.

Answer 7

Yes, depression happens at that age.
Not your fault, but you can help. Try to take more time with him. Listen to him when he talks, take an interest in what he is saying. Don't ask him why he is depressed or "what's wrong". Just show a caring interest.
Has your mother noticed this? If not, it might be wise to mention it to her.

Answer 8

no, I don't think it's your fault. Play basketball with him, tell him he;s gonna be the best one out there one day and encourage him. Laugh hysterically at his corny jokes and (teach him some new ones that actually are funny). include him in stuff you do to, little brothers always like that. good luck with Jason.

Answer 9

Actually, this is the age when most boys DO get depressed. Try to take him places and do things with him. It's normal for boys his age to get depressed. 75% of boys ages 7-9 are depressed, and I think he may be one of them. Just try to include him in more and stuff.

Answer 10

I was Jason, and my family just accepted me for what I was and let me find my own way. When I would excel in something I would be praised/complimented for it. I grew up and am successful in what I do best. My brother who was a sports nut had a son who wasn't interested in sports and my bro. was disappointed but didn't force him to get into sports. We are all individuals and shouldn't be forced to be something we are not. We all grow up in our own time and our own way.