I wonder if there is any truth in that saying? Is that only for married folks or all loving couples?
2007-04-05 02:31:42 · 25 answers · asked by desertbeauty t 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That has been my experience...to me ...its either something a person is open to...or they are not
2007-04-05 02:34:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If somebody has disrespected you and your relationship like this once, there's no reason to suspect that they are going to suddenly, magically develop respect for you and your relationship.
Moreover, there's a level of dishonesty and deception involved, and that belies a fundamental character problem: low integrity. Stop and think about your own integrity: are what you say, do, think and feel congruent? Or are they at odds? If you can honestly say what you say, do, think, and feel are all in alignment, then you have high integrity: you are what you appear to be, you are who you say you are, and you'd be comfortable seeing anything you say or do splashed across the front of the New York Times because you are unashamed and don't need to apologize. Having integrity is nice.
I kind of pitty people who must be deceptive, whose feelings and thoughts are a confused, contradictory jumble. And that's what happens when you are acting, pretending to be something you are not. I pitty the cheater because they have gone down a path that leads to certain confusion.
Can they change? Yes. Will they change without a lot of pain? No. Can they change in their present relationships? Not very likely because they do not truly respect their partner.
2007-04-05 10:06:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interesting that no one is a cheater until they cheat, so can we say "They will never cheat because they never cheated"? If you are married for thirty years and then cheat, are you now just joining the rank of cheater, or were you always a cheater? I believe that anybody can change, the non-cheater into a cheat, and the cheater into a non-cheater.
2007-04-05 10:15:52 · answer #3 · answered by The Central Scrutinizer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not always. It depends on how they look at what they did. If they justify it, refuse to admit that what the did was cheating. I.E. they say, we were already separated, so it was OK, if they justify, then it will happen again. They didn't think what they did was wrong, so why not do it again.
If they say what I did was a mistake, hurtful and wrong, it's far more likely that they will not repeat that behavior.
In other words, if they are remorseful and try to make amends for what they did and make changes in their own lives to ensure it doesn't happen, then they may never cheat again.
Otherwise, they are probably a cheater for life.
2007-04-05 10:13:07 · answer #4 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NOPE. I cheated on my ex-fiance. I have been with my husband now for 4 years, 2 of them married and have never even thought of going outside our relationship. my husband was a cheater also, once he met me it stopped. i know where he is all the time and with whom. he is very open with me. we made an agreement when we moved in together that if we feel we want to cheat to tell the other and end the relationship. i cheated due to not being happy, most guys just need to get it out of their system. when a person finds there one true love it will stop.
2007-04-05 11:20:01 · answer #5 · answered by looneybin7982 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. People can learn. People can grow. A cheater may always cheat. Or a cheater may see how cheating effects more people than just the couple and learn how devastating it can be to both of them.
2007-04-05 09:36:29 · answer #6 · answered by JB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people - yes, some NO. People make mistakes. I've made that mistake but I never made the SAME mistake again. OK, it was a horrible mistake, but I told him exactly what I did and we're still together. I believe that some people that cheat once and realize their mistake (if they believe that it was a mistake) never do it again. There are some people who cheat once and later have "tendencies" and temptations to do it again but don't do it. And lastly, there are some that that make that saying a fact.
2007-04-05 09:45:01 · answer #7 · answered by K9Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is some truth to the saying for some people. Then again, for others, there would be no truth. Just depends on the person and their frame of mind.
2007-04-05 09:38:45 · answer #8 · answered by eharrah1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Each situation should be looked at on a case by case basis. Some "cheating" is a one time mistake while other carry on affairs for years. I may be able to forgive someone for a one time thing but it would be much tougher to deal with a long term affair.
2007-04-05 09:40:53 · answer #9 · answered by Richard Hurtz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rules of thumb only go so far. So, although it might be something to keep in mind in general, in specific circumstances you've got to look at the whole picture. In other words, there might be some truth to it, but that does not mean it applies to every situation.
2007-04-05 11:23:38 · answer #10 · answered by AnonymousGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ALWAYS!
Anyone going with a cheater is getting they're heart stomped on eventually. They are players and for the most part, just can't help themselves.
The saying goes like this: A LEOPARD, NEVER CHANGES HIS/HER SPOTS!
2007-04-05 09:39:19 · answer #11 · answered by SwissAK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋