there's this woman that blames her failing marriage on her children. her husband has threatened to "leave them". the woman doesn't want to face the responsibility fully, that she and her husband are the ones having problems in the marriage. but in your opinion what are some reasons for it to be okay to blame the children for the failing marriage.
2007-04-05 02:29:22 · 36 answers · asked by pint after pint 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, it's a parenting problem.
You said it yourself, the woman doesn't want to face the responsibility. So rather than admit that she (and most likely her husband too unless these are not his kids) has been a poor parent, she wants to blame the kids.
The kids are what their parents make them. So if she blames the kids, it just comes right back to her in the end.
2007-04-05 02:33:42 · answer #1 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's never acceptable to blame the children, and that's even more true the younger the children are. Having kids is a great responsibility, and a great source of stress for a parent, even if the children are "perfect", which very few are!
There are plenty of families who have very big, legitimate problems---for example, they might have a child who suffers from a serious illness. The child may be a source of stress for everyone involved (although it's obviously not his fault), and yet families still stay together.
If mom & dad can weather things like that, there is no excuse for breaking up a family/marriage over some trivial thing.
2007-04-05 03:08:44 · answer #2 · answered by What the Deuce?! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is never o.k to blame your children for a failing marriage. They didn't ask to be born into a troubled relationship, and I'm sure the children have a hard time living in a household where they are told that they cause trouble between their parents. Children have nothing to do with their parents relationship, and a person who would blame them should definitely reevaluate themselves. Try to figure out what the real problem is, and stop blaming anyone except the people in the relationship
2007-04-05 02:36:07 · answer #3 · answered by spunion 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
For me there is NO reason and it is NEVER ok to blame the children (no matter if own children or not) for the failing of a marriage.
Why this woman is doing it? Good question. Maybe she can't accept she made mistakes (as well as her husband)? Maybe she doesnt want to see truth? Maybe accepting it is her (and her husbands) "fault" would bring her to the question why didnt it work out? since when its not working? - maybe she would not like the true answers?
- Its always easy to blame others and deny own responsibility.
2007-04-05 02:45:45 · answer #4 · answered by curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NEVER..The children are not to blame for the parents irresponsiblity..Children do not ask to be brought into this world and if the adults don't want to be parents then they should make sure that they do not become parents..A failing marriage has nothing to so with the children it is the parents fault..... The woman that you are speaking of need's to grow up and take responsibility for her own actions and NOT blame the children...Children are innocent..
2007-04-05 02:37:56 · answer #5 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
never ever blame the children! first and foremost, the children did'nt ask for they're parents that they should be born in this world. they did not want to exist anyway, it's their parents choice that they'll exist in this world. in short they are the one whose responsible for their failing marriage not they're children! why put the blame on someone whose innocent? that woman is stupid! she's old enough to realized her mistakes and do something about it. she's selfish! she's not thinking of what might be the outcome of this to her children! when a marriage is failing, you should be more strong and loving for your children. coz they are the number one person who will be affected of that failing marriage. it's not really the couple. and as a mom you should make it a point that your children are in good condition no matter what may happen to your failing marriage. thats the attitude of mom/wife.
2007-04-05 02:49:35 · answer #6 · answered by angelyne_heart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everything that is wrong with their marriage has nothing to do with the children... a very immature attitude. Somewhere along the way the guy has said something or things that have led her to think he is leaving mainly due to the children. They both need to get their heads on straight and accept their own actions as being the cause of this. The kids will be going through enough on their own and guaranteed they will be taking blame for this anyway in their own minds...that in itself is plenty of stress for them..these people need to grow up fast and rather than damaging their children, they need to fix themselves.
2007-04-05 02:40:43 · answer #7 · answered by dustiiart 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is never the dhilren's fault, and anyone who would even think of blaming a child for a failing marraige is a lousy human being that needs to have some sense slaped into them. if your friend thinks its just too hard having kids, maybe she should have thought about that before she jumped down and spread em' for a night of fun.
Many women every day have to deal with the responsibility of raising chidren on their own with no one to be a father to her children, and they may have to work hard, and suffer every day, but its a labor of love, and no one with half a brain would ever suggest that the troubles of the parents are in some ways the childrens a fault. Those children are here as a result of what the parents did, and when 2 people engage in sexual activites, they are accepting the fact that they may have to be parents someday. Anyone who cant deal with this need to learn to keep her legs closed or keep it in his pants.
In my eyes, someone who blames kids, or even suggests its the kids fault in a divorce or break up is among the lowest scum of the earth, ranking down there with pedofiles, and men who beat women.
So, in short, there is NO reason to blame children, its never their fault.
2007-04-05 02:40:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree NEVER!
But if it's grown children, say from 16 and up, and they deliberately "interfere" with the marriage, for example playing the parents against each other, not accepting one of the parents answers or rules or just being plainly a spoiled brat. I would say it's their fault. But I would never blame them! It's just irresponsible. After all - it is the parent's duty to teach the kid the right way and wrong way of doing things the right way.
In this case I would say it's actually the parents fault for the problems and divorce and yada yada yada and so forth.
But then again, it's only my humble opinion.
2007-04-05 02:37:34 · answer #9 · answered by maverick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The marriage may be failing because of things having to do with the children, but if it is because of things having to do with the responsibilities of parenting..... oh well. That is the stress of having kids, and that is what they signed up for. Over 50% of marriages end in divorce, more still with separation, and more still that don't break up but would if finances allowed. Parenthood and marriage are tough, but that is what the couple took on when they got married and had kids.
2007-04-05 02:37:30 · answer #10 · answered by danashelchan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋