Do you believe that love from your man should be unconditional?

Question

I am sure that if you are a woman (or a man) that you would say "yes," to this question. If love is supposed to be unconditional, they why can't respect for the man be unconditional? Why is it that so many women are mixed up as to think that respect has to be earned....does a man loving his wife need to be earned?

http://www.loveandrespect.com/content/Cracking_Medium.php

Answer 1

No, only love for your children should be unconditional! ALL others, including your own parents, should have to EARN your respect and love.

Answer 2

Dear Billie,
I think "love "per se is an extremely over-rated ,over used and very often abused word .I'd even call it a four letter fors if this we'ren't a family channel!!!
However ,the reason something that 'd be so simple gets to be so twisted is that we have too many expectations .Take lofty words like "unconditional love and rescpect".Does a normal human being with a daily frame of reference even understand something as higly serious as that ??
How does a couple suppose that they 'd give each other "unconditional "anything if now a days we're even forgetting the bacis courtesies of daily life .
I believe my kinder garten teacher taught me the very basic three magic words namely:Please,Sorry and Thank you ..
How often in a married or couple lives do we hear words like that especially a genuine "sorry"?
As far as earning any thing I feel its a 100%give that we must concentrate upon and have 0%expectation
That way what ever we get even if it were 2% or .5%..we'd delight in it's reception .
How ever ,last but not the least ...it doesn't work to expect people to love &respect you if you don't do it to your self ....
I 'm not saying "yes "to your question ..

Answer 3

Both love and respect SHOULD be unconditional--for everyone. However, as human beings, we fall short on both accounts.

At best, we strive for unconditional love and respect.

Keep in mind, however, that you can love a person without being a doormat. You may have to sever a relationship with someone you love for the sake of self preservation.

By that some token, you can respect a person without approving of their actions, decisions, beliefs, etc.

I believe this is true of all men and women, regardless of marital status.

Answer 4

Love should be "earned". And I mean that as, with faithfulness, consideration, and respect. Unconditional love should go both ways, from both man and woman. It may not start out as unconditional, but as time goes by, it will grow into unconditional, just like respecting someone. I believe you love your spouse more today than you did before, and you respect them more today than you did yesterday.

Answer 5

Love is always unconditional. Anything less than that is NOT love. Respect for all human beings should also be unconditional, even if it is not reciprocated. Any one with self respect and love will love and respect others UNCONDITIONALLY. In addition, if a person is not being respected they should remove themself from such a bad environment.

Answer 6

I have been happily married 8 years, and no, I don't expect his love to be unconditional. He works very hard to support our family, and I have all the respect in the world for him, but if he just sat around like a bum all day I would have a hard time respecting him, vice versa. It depends on the situation.

Answer 7

Since you cite Dr Eggerichs book and website, you probably understand that while God's love is unconditional, we as humans are largely unable to provide unconditional love.

Certainly romantic love is conditional. If it were not conditional we would practice romantic love with all sorts of partners and the idea of attraction would not come into play. So already there is the idea of some conditions to romantic love. I have to be attracted to my partner to consider romantic love.

The only unconditional love is agape love.

The love for our children is conditional. They have to be our children, a conditional, before experiencing that love.

I believe the idea of humans expressing unconditional love is a fantasy of romantic novels and movies.

Romantic love is certainly conditional.

If you read Dr Eggerichs book, you will find that he tells the woman that she is to respect her husband, regardless of if he earns it. Likewise the man is to love his wife, regardless of how lovable she is.

He cites scripture and essentially says "do it!" to both men and women. From that perspective, it's unconditional. But as a complete picture, romantic love is a conditional thing.

Edited to add: Once you've married, all the conditions are fulfilled. There are no reasons to not love and/or respect your spouse. So, based on your promise, your vow, you are to now love and respect your spouse.

Answer 8

Love should be unconditional. I personally think respect should be a given, until your behavior shows otherwise. The only ones who show lack of respect for me (because I'm the youngest) is my family; and I've learned to keep them at arm's length. They really don't like it, but they're learning to get over it.

Answer 9

Respect should not have to be earned. It is given to someone until there is a reason not to respect them. Like love, once broken, respect (and trust as well) is hard to get back.

Answer 10

I think you should unconditionally love your spouse. I mean you should have already "earned" that before you walked down the isle. Think about what you promised on your wedding day , for better or worse, richer or poorer... that's a promise of unconditional love right there. . . don't you think?