I have my ring from a previous marriage, that my ex-husband wanted me to keep. It is just a single ring. I wear it on my right hand. The man I am dateing now has a problem with that, and I don't think he should have. I do not think it is a big deal. But he does. Am I wrong?
2007-04-05 01:19:09 · 45 answers · asked by J Lee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Its a ring, you weren't sleeping with it. This is just another case of an insecure male trying to make himself feel more secure by controlling you.....it starts with something insignificant like the ring on your right hand.
2007-04-05 01:22:26 · answer #1 · answered by LoneStarLou 5 · 2⤊ 4⤋
I would definitely have a problem with my husband wearing a ring or any type of symbol from a previous relationship. Is this man your seeing now worth more than a ring? If so, then give up the ring and make him happy. If not, then why are you seeing him? You can always have the ring from your previous marriage melted down and reworked into a new piece of jewelry. Maybe he would agree to that and then you could both be happy.
2007-04-05 01:25:06 · answer #2 · answered by Melinda 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to disagree with you but you are only fooling yourself. If this is a wedding ring or engagement ring or even a promise ring then it is a sign of love and commitment. IF you are still wearing one of these rings then on some level you are still committed to this previous relationship which is only natural if you really did care about the guy and I am assuming you did since you married him. However, if you are trying to enter into a relationship with a new guy then you are telling him from while wearing that ring that whatever happens you are still thinking about your previous relationship with you "ex". Think of it this way... what would most women do if they were dating a divorced guy who still wore his wedding ring? I think you know the answer to this. wherever you ear the ring, if it is a special ring like a wedding ring then it has special meaning that you are still clinging to and demonstrating when you wear which is fine but realize that even if you are fooling yourself this new guy is trying to bee on the look out for signs of whether this new relationship is working or worth-it and this ring is the sign you are giving him. now, if the ring is a secret decoder ring from a box of cracker-jack, a mood ring or something like that then it is an entirely different story but I think you left out of your question the fact that this ring you are defending is the wedding ring, which is probably the most significant peice of jewelry a person will ever give or receive. Think of this: how could he eve give you a wedding ring if you are still wearing your old one at all.
2007-04-05 01:29:12 · answer #3 · answered by Don Quesadia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the man that you have now did not know that the ring you are wearing belonged to a previous marriage, he would be upset, but he knows it, the next best thing that you can do, is take the ring to a jeweler and trade in for another ring, and pronto, you'll put a smile on your new man's lips!
2007-04-05 01:26:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
well you're in the first stages of a new relationship , usually things that are related to previous relationships are ....touchy , mostly for men .... (and its not just a stupid thing , that behavior has a genetic explanation and not all men are able to handle it in a civilized way) , you know...the territorial male ... and that stuff , but also it might mean you still are attached in a way to your past , is like ..."it was so important to me that it will always be in me in a way that's important to me "... , however............... if you have an objective mind ( please...it's just a stinkin' ring...a piece of nice jewerly that I like to wear because it looks good in my hand) , then ... try to explain that to your new man , try to understand his point of view , two things can be reasoned there : a) He makes big deal of a small issue , so , what that means for a possible future? ...b) you can , reason your position,opinion,and feelings associated with the ring with him , if choices are to be made between your new relationship and wearing a ring then revise both your opinions on the matter.
So.... do it with respect , and try to understand him , is there something he would have or wear from past relationships that could bother you ? ? ? ? ? ?
2007-04-05 01:32:38 · answer #5 · answered by robertman30s 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My now-wife used to wear a necklace with a diamond in it that the previous man in her life had given her. As others here are saying, I felt like it represented an emotional link to the man, and I objected to it. "It's the only nice piece of jewelry I have," she said, but it upset me, so she stopped wearing it. I'm glad she did. Symbols are more important to some people than others; please just be aware that your new bf feels sensitive to this symbol. If you care about him, just stop wearing the ring -- surely you have other things you could wear.
Funny -- before this question, I hadn't thought about that necklace in a very long time. We've been married for 20 years.
2007-04-05 01:28:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Its ok to KEEP the ring but wearing it is kind of like saying you are not over him yet. Talk to the new man in your life and maybe compromise about it. Leave it in the jewelry box or hand it down to any children you and the ex may have had together.
2007-04-05 01:22:59 · answer #7 · answered by shelly lee 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why would you do this at the request of your "ex" husband when that relationship is over?
I think he has a right to feel threatened by this action of yours.
If you care more about this person that you are currently seeing than you do about your "ex" husband then I think you would want to do what would make him happy...as long as it is not hurting you.
I don't see where removing a ring from the past would hurt you.
So it all boils down to how much you care about the person you are seeing now and his wishes concerning you removing a ring from the past. He has not asked you to throw it away, just remove it from your finger.
be cool...
2007-04-05 01:40:16 · answer #8 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good manners are the only time a woman should wear a former husbands ring is when he is dead and that is what ended the marraige and is worn on the third finger of the right hand
2007-04-05 01:22:37 · answer #9 · answered by ffperki 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
turn the ring into another piece of jewlery to wear or reset the stone in a different ring, but yes he has the right to be offended. A engagement and wedding ring are symbols of your love and commitment to a relationship. You no longer have that love and commitment so you shouldn't be wearing the ring.
2007-04-05 01:39:45 · answer #10 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What if he were wearing a ring from a previous marriage? How would you feel about it then. It's pretty simple really.
2007-04-05 01:22:22 · answer #11 · answered by bookfreak2day 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋